Stories In My Head
by LogicIsBoring44
Summary: Ben knows his memories have been messed with and is determined to find out why, but when tragedy strikes, it sends him down the very path someone once tried to keep him safe from. In a world where angels, demons, and monsters are very much real and very dangerous, Ben finds help from three brilliant yet deadly women who know who it is he's been missing: His father.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to _Stories In My Head_! The third in a trilogy I didn't know I was writing. *laughs* I recommend reading _The Truth is Better Than Fiction_ and _However, Fiction is Safer_ before reading this.**

 **Okay, now that is out of the way. This story is a multi-chapter fic, I don't how long, and it focuses on Ben trying to regain his memories and then navigating his father's world.**

 **I plan on focusing on Ben, Claire, Krissy, and Jody. Dean and Sam will show up but it won't be until later. Alex is in here but I'm focusing on the others instead. I've had this idea that Ben, Claire and Krissy become hunting partners in my head for a long time had been unable how to figure out how to bring it to paper, and now I do. *laughs***

 **In this fic, Ben is 17, same age as Alex and Krissy, and a year younger than Claire.**

 **This show has time jumped a lot, so I'm choosing Ben is 17. If the age is off, roll with it please.**

 **I think that's it.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Ben was twelve when he realized there was something wrong with his memories. He can remember almost everything with damn near perfect detail except for his eighth birthday, the year leading up to his eleventh birthday, his eleventh birthday, and the day they decided to move out to the country. He also couldn't remember how his mom got stabbed. She couldn't either.

His mom wouldn't say it but she also suffered from memory issues. Sometimes they'll be sitting down for dinner and her eyes would fall to the door as if waiting for someone to walk through it. Her eyes would dim in disappointment then confusion would set it. Who exactly was she waiting for?

Ben did the same thing. At a sporting event, he'll look for his mom then to her right, looking for someone important. His heart would fall then he kicked himself for being disappointed in someone he couldn't even remember not being there for him. No one came up to him while he got ready to bat to give him information about where to hit and whether or not to bunt. No one would cheer the loudest whenever he made a brilliant play and brag about him being his...something. There was no one there.

Neither him nor his mother could ever recall just who it is they're missing. They knew the person they were missing was a guy, and Ben had an inkling the guy was his father.

If so, where is he? Why can't Ben or his mom remember his dad? He can't even remember what his dad sounds like. It's all distorted. He has pictures of a guy that somehow became fuzzy and smudged to the point of being unrecognizable. All of them, and just him too. The few with his mom and him, they're in perfect condition but the man is not.

The whole ordeal should be terrifying but neither he nor his mother are particularly worried about it. Almost as if it was really worth being afraid of, it would be taken care of by someone who can actually take care of something like this.

He has nothing but questions that has him getting powerful headaches whenever he thinks too hard on it.

Sometimes he'll get flashes of a wide smile and green eyes or the silhouette of a tall man with long-ish hair but that's it. One time he got a crystal clear image of a black car. It was a monster of a classic. _A 1967 Chevy Impala,_ his mind whispered. And for some unidentifiable reason he has yet to figure out, the car meant hope and safety. He could practically hear the engine roar and purr as the man with the green eyes smiled widely at him from the driver's side.

It drove Ben crazy sometimes that the man's face eluded him.

He tried drawing the man once for art class but all that came out was something worthy of the great impressionists and Picasso. Ben couldn't even figure out what the hell he drew. He got an A though on the assignment.

Instead of throwing the drawing away, Ben kept it and all the other rough drafts together in hopes of compiling them together someday to see if they somehow make a whole picture. It's why he made friends with the computer kids. If anyone who could figure out a way to do that, its them, and if he has to invite them to parties every now and then, then that's fine with him.

Some day Ben will find out whether or not the guy with green eyes is his father. No matter what it takes, he _will_ confirmation, and when he does, he's going to track him down and demand to know why he abandoned him ( _again,_ his mind whispered) and his mother.

 **BW**

Its been three months since Ben lost his mother. They'd been driving home from a late night ballgame, Ben chose not to ride with his team mates because he didn't want his mom to drive home by herself. His mom was crowing about the double play he made in the bottom of the sixth when the sky lit up and was filled with falling stars.

Ben felt his stomach drop at the sight. Something bad happened was all he had time to think before one of the "stars" crashed near them. His mom screamed and swerved but their momentum had the car flipping over three times.

The last thing Ben heard before he blacked out was his mom calling out for him to stay awake and with her. He tried to answer back but his mouth felt like it was filled with cotton and everything sounded weird, and his head felt like it weighed a ton. His mom screaming his name echoed in his mind when the blackness swallowed him up.

Ben woke up in the hospital without his mom by his side. The doctors and nurses avoided all his questions about his mom's whereabouts until a social worker showed up. Ice filled Ben's veins at the sight while his stomach bottomed out, he knew what she was going to say was not going to be good. He was right. Lisa Braeden died from internal injuries. They gave him their deepest and sincerest condolences.

Thank god he was already lying down otherwise he would have ended up on the floor.

"No. No," he shook his head wildly, refusing to believe his mother was gone and that he was all alone in the world now. "No, no, no, no, no!"

They gave him a sympathetic look before leaving him to deal with his grief on his own. He curled into a ball and screamed into his pillow at the unfairness of it all. He screamed so hard and long the nurses came in and sedated him to keep him from blacking out from a lack of oxygen.

When Ben woke up a second time, the social worker was there, introducing herself as Joyce Gray, and talked to him about his situation and asked if he had any family who could take him in. Ben shook his head, telling her his mom was an only child and her parents died when she was a teenager. A bitter laugh escaped at that. He's repeating history.

Then Joyce asked about his father. Ben replied he didn't know who his father was.

Joyce had frowned at that. She scribbled down into her notebook then looked up to ask him if his mother ever talked about a man named Dean Winchester or his brother Sam. Ben stared at her in confusion before shaking his head no.

Joyce hummed before writing in her notebook again.

"Who's Dean Winchester?" Ben asked as a sharp pain stabbed him in the head. "Is he my dad?"

The woman stared at him intently. "Is he?" she asked in a weirdly intense voice. "Is Dean Winchester your father?"

Suddenly uncomfortable and afraid, Ben shrank back away from her and shook his head. "I don't know. I don't think so."

Joyce leaned in close to him, keeping her eyes locked on Ben's as she whispered, "I don't think you're lying to me Ben but you look so much like him. I think it would be best if I sent you some place far away just in case. Be thankful you look like him, Benjamin Braeden. I owe your father a debt and I'm repaying that by keeping you safe."

Ben felt his mind blank out at her words. This woman knows his father and apparently he looks like him.

Joyce turned to leave, the action spurred Ben into asking, "Wait! You know my father? Why can't I remember him?"

The woman stopped just outside the door. "To keep you safe. Your father and uncle has made a lot of enemies over the years. Both Heaven and Hell are gunning for them, and should they find out about you, Ben, they'd use you against them."

"I don't understand," Ben said, his mind no longer blank but swimming with information overload. "Can you help me remember?"

"Yes," she said but her next words dashed any hope he had building, "but I won't. It's safer if you never remember. I'm going to refer you to a colleague in North Dakota for placement families. You'll be safe there. A friend of your father lives there. They'll keep an eye on you. Goodbye, Ben Winchester, and know that what your father did was the hardest thing he's ever done."

With those parting words, Joyce Gray walked out of hospital and Ben never saw her again. It wasn't until later that he remembered he forgot to ask her how she knew his father or who his father's friend was.

 **BW**

Ben found himself imagining what his father's job was, something that felt familiar. His imaginings ranged from a policeman to a fireman to a psychic. Joyce did say Heaven and Hell were gunning for his father, psychic makes the most sense out of all his scenarios.

North Dakota is...boring. He's been here for over five months and he hasn't made a single friend and he hasn't found out who his father's friend is.

Since he doesn't know what his father's job is exactly, he's still not ruling out psychic, Ben's been side-eyeing _everyone_ in Sioux Falls who looks at Ben a little too intently. So far he's come up with nothing, save for realizing there are a _lot_ of pervs living in Sioux Falls. The sheriff, Jody Mills, has a soft spot for him and helped him acclimate to North Dakota life.

Ben already ruled her out as his dad's friend, thinking there is no way the sheriff would be his father's friend. She seems too busy with her adopted daughter, Alex, to be someone willing to drop everything to help his father battle freaking Heaven and Hell.

He's still having a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that _angels and demons are real_. Or that his father is on their shit list. What does that mean for him? Is banned from Heaven? Hell?

If he dies, where would he go? Purgatory?

Ever since Joyce Gray told him about his father, Ben's been reading a boat load of lore on monsters, demons and angels. He doesn't think they'll actually be of help but he's been keeping a journal of sorts on all the information he's gathered and cross-referenced them with his other sources to see what they have in common then puts that information in a different journal. He has a feeling he's done this before.

Whatever blocked his memory seems to be fading somewhat. He no longer gets wicked migraines when he tries to remember his dad. His dad's face is still a blank but other memories are coming slowly back to him. Like for instance, a box full of books and notebooks. He knows that box is important.

He's been thinking for ways as to how to get the box out of storage. The state of Colorado put his things in storage until he turned eighteen, which won't be for another nine months. Shit. He needs those books.

Maybe Sheriff Mills will help him. He could use the old "it's my mother's, ma'am, and I just want something of hers with me" routine. Sheriff Mills seems like the compassionate and understanding type.

With a plan in mind, Ben waited until after school, Sheriff Mills usually picked up Alex, and Ben wanted to catch her when she was in a distracted mood. He managed to get out of class early and waited for the Sheriff to pick up Alex.

He grinned when he saw the truck pull up, Ben plastered on a smile and waved at her before making his way towards her. She waved back but now she looked slightly nervous at his presence, at any other time he'd ask her about it but right now he has a mission he needs completed. Next time he'll interrogate her _and_ Alex as to why they're squirrely around him.

The first time they saw him, they paled at the sight of him before jerking away from him. They acted weird around him for a while before Sheriff Mills became his personal welcome wagon.

"Hi!" Ben greeted cheerfully. "How've you been, Sheriff?"

Mills shot him tired smile that wasn't fake, Ben's learned to read people these past months in the chance they might be a foe, his dad pissed off angels and demons, remember? It's also a useful survival skill in dealing with people, knowing when to push and when to pull back.

"I've been better. How've you been, sweetie?" She asked him in return.

Ben shrugged before shrinking in on himself and assumed a sad expression. Time to sell it. "Things could be better. I, uh, I came over here to ask you for a favor, Sheriff."

Ben saw the second Sheriff Mills shut down and tensed. His 'something's weird' radar pinged loudly but he regretfully shoved it down. That is not the mission right now.

"And what favor would that be, Ben?" Mills asked, her eyes flicking everywhere but at him.

"My mother's birthday is coming up, and I was wondering if you could put in a request to get a box out of storage for me. When her birthday arrives, I wanted to do something for her, but what I need is in that box. They said I could get it as long as someone of authority authorizes it. And since you're the only authority around, I figured you could do it," Ben told her with a bashful smile.

She relaxed and nodded her head. "I could do that. Is that all?"

Ben nodded. "Thanks, Sheriff. Have a nice day," he told her before leaving, stopping when he saw Alex make her way towards him. She froze when she saw him, paling at the sight of him standing near her mother. Again, Ben is so going to ask them what the hell is wrong with them when he has time.

"Alex," he greeted with a nod. She nodded back and kind of slunk passed him to get into the truck. Ben watched them drive off. He may have to reassess his original thought that Sheriff Mills might not be his dad's friend here.

Shaking his head, Ben shoved the idea aside until he has what he wants.

Soon though, he'll ask them and demand the truth but for now he has something more important to do first.

 **BW**

Sheriff Mills was a woman of her word and within a week the box he requested arrived. She called him at the Marks', the family that is housing him for the moment, and said she could drop it off after work. Ben thanked her for her offer but said he'll be right over to pick it up. He doesn't want her going through it, especially since he now thinks she might be his dad's friend. She might disapprove of the items in the box and keep it from him.

Ben can't risk losing the box.

He borrowed the Marks' car and drove as fast as he legally could to the police station. He found Sheriff Mills eyeing the box with wariness and a letter opener in her hand. His heart leapt into his throat when she moved to open it.

"Sheriff!" Ben yelled in panic. He quickly calmed himself down and moved to grab the box from her while she pretended she hadn't been planning on opening his property without a reason. "Thanks," he told her and high-tailed it out of there before she returned to her senses and used her power as the sheriff to see why he wanted the box so bad.

He'll need to find a hiding place for it. Somewhere he could keep it safe from prying eyes. He knows just the place: The basement of the library. No one goes down there because they think its creepy but Ben's been going down there for months. Nothing ever happened to him.

Ben made a quick detour to hide box before dropping the car off, shouted a quick 'later' to the Marks', and ran back to the library.

He took a convoluted route down to the basement just in case he was being followed, call him paranoid but he'd rather be safe than sorry. Ben double and quadruple checked to make sure he had no tales before slipping through the door marked "employees only" and down a long corridor, and took a right for ten feet to a door that led into a room that housed an old-fashioned printing press and old reference books from the days of yore.

The room is the perfect hiding place.

With giddiness that had his hands shaking wildly, Ben dug into his pocket to grab his pocket knife out and carefully cut the tape keeping the box together. He quickly opened the flaps and carefully extracted the dust covered books and notebooks out of it. He placed them on the floor as he continued digging into the box. He found pictures on the bottom.

Pictures.

What if these ones are blurred and ruined? What if he can finally see what his dad looks like?

Ben momentarily forgets about the books and notebooks to grab the pictures from the bottom of the box. With a level of care usually reserved for handling precious artifacts, Ben grabbed a single photo and slowly turned it over.

Its blurred and splotchy just like the others.

Disappointment flooded Ben, he knew it was a long shot but he couldn't help but get his hopes up that he'd have a real picture of his father. Telling him he _looks_ like his dad doesn't mean Ben has an real idea how he father looks. All he pictures is himself being slightly taller and with green eyes (or so he thinks, his memory _really_ shouldn't be trusted at the moment).

Ben threw the pictures back into the box, not taking as much care as he did taking them out, and focused his attention on the books and notebooks. He ignored the books at the moment and grabbed the nearest notebook to flip though.

He knew it. He _has_ done this before. Ben quickly skimmed through the pages to find that the information he's collected recently is almost on par with the stuff in the notebooks. It must be muscle memory kicking in after all these years. His dad must of had him do this as training or something. The writing in the notebooks match his when he was younger.

Opening the biggest book to peruse through, its easily the same size as his chest but heavier, and finds folders tucked inside. A quick read through reveals it being a case file. Another training technique?

Or is it a test?

His dad could have made Ben learn the book stuff then identify what could have killed the people in the articles as a way to see if Ben had been doing the research. If so, his dad is awesome.

...and hardcore.

Ben could only imagine what his dad would have done if he got it wrong. Would his father ground him from anything to do with this stuff? Or would his father make him try again and again until he got it right the first time? Either way it would suck if he screwed up.

That's the rub though, isn't it? Ben doesn't know his dad, or to be more accurate, he doesn't remember his father. The memories of him have been stolen by the very man he's struggling to remember, and he _doesn't know why_. Why would his father do that to him and his mom? Why would he think taking their memories of him away would keep them safe? From what though?

Does it have to do something with those "falling stars" that led to his mother's death?

His dad's world seems confusing and dangerous, judging by the articles. A lot of death in his dad's profession.

Ben really hopes his father is a psychic and nothing more.

* * *

 **So, what did y'all think?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry. Ben decided to be difficult before he finally gave in and let me tell the story how I wanted. Typical teenager. ;)**

* * *

His dad is a psychic, not some nut who goes after all these ghosts and monsters and demons and angels, and Ben is sticking with that until he's proven otherwise. Maybe not even then.

The theory of Sheriff Mills being his dad's friend is starting to seem more and more likely but if his dad is one of the nuts, then even if he does work up the courage to confront the Sheriff, there is no guarantee that she'll admit she knows his dad. She'll think, like his dad, the best way to protect him will be to continue lying to him. What is with adults thinking they automatically know what's best for kids?

Keeping Ben from his dad is most emphatically _not_ the best way to keep Ben safe. If anything, keeping his dad a mystery for him will make him even more determined to find his father. And if his dad is one of those nuts, it could get incredibly dangerous for him if he goes digging.

It's quite a conundrum for Ben.

It's not like Ben has a clear choice in front of him. He chooses to ignore what he's found out, then he'll never know who his dad is or find out why he left them in the first place, taking his memories with him. But if he chooses to pursue what he's found out, Ben's life could be in danger from entities that should be of myth and legend, who are apparently gunning for his dad for some reason.

His dad's a psychic, and of course angels and demons would be after him because he undoubtedly saw or heard something they didn't want him to.

Okay, Ben might be full out lying to himself here but he refuses to believe his dad is one of those nutjobs who actually go after these things. His dad is just a psychic who learned a little too much and now heaven and hell are after him for whatever it is he learned.

The only way to know for sure is if he asked Sheriff Mills outright if she knew his dad and whether or not he's a nutjob.

That doesn't sound like a good choice for him. She'll either lie or flat out ignore him. He'll still be without answers and most likely have even more questions. His curiousity will be piqued even more and next time he won't give up until he has the answers he's really unsure he wants to know. Seriously though, who really, in their right mind, actually wants to know about things that go bump in the night, with monsters, ghouls, demons, ghosts, and angels just laying in wait to ambush you at your slightest misstep.

Then again, Ben seemed to be on his way to joining that very world before his memories got stolen.

He was startled from his thoughts when Maria Marks pounded on the door, yelling at him that if he wants a ride to school, he better hurry his ass up. Ben, in a moment of childish impulse, stuck his tongue out towards the door. He liked them okay but they were not his parents. He missed his small town in Colorado, just outside Colorado Springs, and above all else, he missed his mom.

They had a tradition of going to the local coffee shop, the official hang out of the town, and then they would walk down main street, stopping at shops at every now and then, and have lunch at Ma's Cafe. It was a real mom & pop store that enchanted his mother the second she stepped inside. Ben liked getting free desserts from the kindly woman.

Would his dad let him move back there? Would his dad even have liked Colorado Springs? He just doesn't know enough about his dad to even guess what his likes and dislikes are.

With more strength than he thought he had, Ben shoved all thoughts of his father and his father's potential life to the back of his mind, and got grabbed his bag before taking off downstairs where his foster mother is waiting ever so impatiently for him. He shot her an apologetic look as he hopped into the passenger seat. She rolled her eyes at him but he saw a small smile on her face before she turned serious.

"I'm gonna need you to stay away tonight. Go to a friend's or something but I need you gone until at least ten tonight, got it?" Ben nodded when she glanced at him. "Don't do anything stupid either, you hear? I need things to go smoothly tonight and getting a call about you will ruin my surprise I have for Logan," Maria told him and Ben nodded again.

Maria lost her frown and handed Ben twenty dollars. "Remember, stay out until ten or curfew."

"I will," Ben assured her, pocketing the money. "I have a project I'm working on anyway."

"Good, now we're here, get," she ordered playfully. Ben smiled at her before getting out of the car.

He waved at her when she honked goodbye. Ben shook his head at the thought of them having sex while he's out. He doesn't need that in his head, thank you very much. He looked around for Mr. Evans, the History teacher, Ben likes him and he has a question about last night's essay question on their homework.

Spotting the rather young teacher near the east wing side entrance, Ben jogged towards him before the older man went inside, when he bumped into someone, almost sending the both of them to the ground. Ben reacted quickly and grabbed the other person, steadying them both.

He opened his mouth to apologize but stopped when he saw it was Alex. They stared at each other in shock before Alex recovered first and all but threw herself out of his arms. She glared at him like he did it on purpose. Ben glared back.

"Watch where you're going, Braeden," she sneered. It was rather impressive despite her being paler than a sheet.

Why does she always blanch at the sight of him? Its playing havoc with his self-esteem.

"Whatever, Jones," Ben shot back. "I need to talk to your mom, is she still here or is she already at the station?"

Alex paled even more, Ben swore he could see her entire network of veins on her skin. It's kind of creepy but its still cool. That'd be a cool art project for later on this year. It'd be a bitch to do but it would be worth it when he's done, and if he's lucky, his project could end up in the art fair in the spring. Maybe even earn him the attention of an art scout or something.

"She's talking to the principal," Alex admitted, and she all but ran away from him.

Ben had no intention of talking to Sheriff Mills, it was the only thing he could think of to scare Alex away. Plus, she pissed him off for talking to him like that. What did he ever do to her? What did his dad ever do to her? To both of them.

Seriously, he wants to know why they look at him like he's Damien or the Spawn of Damien. Did his dad do something bad to them or what?

Know what? Whatever. Ben's got other things to worry about, like for instance, his grade in History. If he tanks this paper and the next test, he'll have to do a summer session to make it up, and he doesn't want to do that. He wants to spend the summer looking for his dad.

"Ben," he heard Sheriff Mills call his name softly. Shit. Of course Alex ran right to her. He should have thought of that.

He plastered on a smile, turned around and greeted the older woman. "Hey, Sheriff! What can I do for you?"

"Alex said you wanted to talk to me," Sheriff Mills said, frowning at him slightly. "Is something wrong? Are your foster parents taking good care of you?"

Ben is slightly touched at her concern. He shook his head. "They're fine. I'm fine." He bit his lip as he thought about straight up asking her about his dad. Would she even answer? Only one way to find out. "Do you know my dad?"

Wow. He did not mean to blurt that out. He meant to ask her after school, when she picked up Alex, when he had a polite and well-rehearsed speech. Too late to take it back now.

Sheriff Mills blinked at him. "Uh, I, uh..." the bell rang, cutting her off. "You better get to class, Ben," she told him instead.

Frustrated, Ben stepped in front of her to keep her from walking away from him. He deserves to know, dammit! It's his father.

"No," he said defiantly. "Do you or do you not know my dad? It's a simple yes or no answer, Sheriff."

The sheriff sighed explosively. She looked him right in the eyes, thinking her answer through, and Ben held his breath in anticipation.

"Yes," she admitted after ten minutes. He's late for class but like hell is Ben leaving now, not when he's finally getting some answers.

When she didn't continue, Ben blew out a frustrated breath. "Yes, what? Is that it? Is that all you're going to say? What can you tell me about him? How did you meet him? How did Alex meet him? Do you know where he is? If so, why haven't you told him I'm here? Does he even care that I'm here and on my own?" Ben whispered the last part. His biggest fear right there out in the open. What if his dad doesn't want nor care about him?

Sheriff Mills stared at him with a myriad of expressions before settling on sympathy. She reached out and squeezed his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Ben. I don't know if I _should_ tell your dad about you being here. You're dad's life...it's dangerous in ways you can't understand. For your own safety, I won't tell him you're here," Sheriff Mills told him.

Ben stared at her before shrugging off her hand and shoulder checked her on his way from her. "It's not up to you, Sheriff. He's _my_ dad, not yours, and I'm aware of my dad's world. Angels and demons are after him, they might be after me, but do you get that I don't care? He's all I have left, do _you_ get that? One way or another, I _will_ meet my dad. I'll get my answers with or without your help."

He ignored her calls after him, too pissed off to listen. How dare she keep his dad away from him?

Forget everything he said earlier, whatever his dad is into, Ben's going to find out. He will find him and he will get answers one way or another. He deserves that much.

The rest of the day passed by in a rage filled haze. He doesn't remember what he said or did but he was given a wide berth when the day ended. It was a good thing he didn't have any friends there or he'd have to deal with them as well.

He caught sight of Alex making her way towards the student pick up area, and his simmering anger boiled over. Ben stalked after her, grabbing onto her bag and walked her to the parking lot. Whatever retort Alex undoubtedly had, she swallowed it and let him essentially march her towards her mother. Sheriff Mills paled at the sight of him, it only served to piss him off even more.

"Hiya, Sheriff," he greeted her with a grotesque parody of his usual happy smile. "We need to talk." He shoved Alex into the truck and hopped in after her. "Well, let's go. Unless you want to have this particular talk out in the open where everyone can hear us?"

Sheriff Mills stared at him for a minute, only moving when the car behind them honked. She shot Ben an unhappy look before shifting gear and drove them to her house.

Alex sat rigidly next to him, learning as far away from him as she can. Any other day, Ben would have had fun teasing and tormenting her for acting like a scared kitten but thanks to the Sheriff, that day ain't today. He merely glared at her in retaliation.

The ride was tense and uncomfortable.

Alex damn near crawled over the Sheriff in her haste to get away from him. She bolted into the house, and presumably into her room as he heard a door slam shut. He shot the Sheriff an amused smile.

The Sheriff walked towards her house, knowing Ben would follow. Of course he would. She knows his dad, and more importantly, she knows how to get in contact with him.

Ben took in the homey interior of the house and found himself once more missing his mother like crazy. He shook off the sad thoughts before they could take root. His mom is dead, his dad is not, or at least as far as he knows. He needs to focus on his current mission which is finding his dad. Later he'll cry himself to sleep but not right now. Not now.

"So, you gonna call my dad and tell him I'm here?" Ben asked as he threw his bag and himself onto the couch. "Or I can call him and tell him myself. Either way my dad is going to find out I'm here."

Sheriff Mills stared at him with mild indignation and annoyance. "Who do you think you are, Benjamin Braeden? Who are you to think you can order me around like that, in my house, and treat my daughter like that? You can't touch her like that! She's had a hard life and you treating her like that could send her back to how she was!" Sheriff Mills yelled at him.

Ben merely rolled his eyes at her. "Whatever. You gonna call my dad or am I going to have to do it myself?"

"You have some nerve," she told him. "Let me get my phone."

Ben gestured for her to go ahead and reclined back into the couch. He felt a little bad about how he treated Alex and the Sheriff but they have no right keeping his dad away from him. They wouldn't like it either if he kept someone they loved away from them. See how they like it, and he bets they would react in the same way.

He heard Sheriff Mills talking on her cellphone but she's too far away to make anything out.

Is she talking to his dad?

"Call me back," he hears her say and Ben's heart falls. Just a voicemail.

Sheriff Mills walks back into the living room and sits down in the chair in front of him. "I tried. He didn't pick up. I told him to call me back at his earliest convenience but I wouldn't hold my breath. It could be a while. You're dad is a very busy guy, Ben."

Ben nodded woodenly. He blinked back sudden tears but that didn't help. Before he knew it, he was sobbing heavily into his backpack. He felt so stupid for getting his hopes up at the thought of actually speaking to his dad, of getting his family back, of no longer being alone, and now he's right back where he started. He treated Alex and Sheriff Mills so horribly today, and for what? Nothing. His dad didn't pick up. Maybe he doesn't want Ben, and that's why he didn't answer his phone.

"I'm sorry!" Ben wailed at the Sheriff. "I'm so, so, so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am so sorry."

Sheriff Mills stood up and moved to the couch to hug him. "Shh," she shushed him. "It's okay, Ben. Let it out. Just let it out, sweetheart."

Ben cried harder into her shoulder as she gently carded her hand through his hair and rocked him slightly. He didn't know how long he cried there in her house but by the time he gathered himself, it was dark out, and he was exhausted. He felt drained. Emotionally and mentally exhausted from the days events.

"I'm sorry," he whispered again.

"Hush," Sheriff Mills said. "I'm going to go order us some pizza for supper. You must be starving. Is pepperoni okay?" Ben nodded. "Great! I'll go tell Alex we're having pizza. Go wash yourself up and get started on your homework."

"Okay," Ben replied softly. He got up and found the bathroom to wash off his earlier tears. He felt a little better but the feeling of fragileness remained.

"Supper will be here in forty minutes," Sheriff Mills informed him.

Ben nodded at her and got started on his homework. Alex came and sat down at the kitchen table to do her own work. She kept an eye on him, and Ben felt guilty for scaring her.

"I'm sorry," he told her, keeping his eyes on his Algebra homework. "I didn't mean to grab you like that earlier. It wasn't my intention to scare you, Alex. I am truly, deeply sorry for my actions. I just wanted to find my dad."

Alex frowned as she thought his apology through. "I forgive you but I'd like it if you kept away from me for a while."

"I can do that," Ben told her.

Silence passed between them but at least it wasn't as awkward or uncomfortable as it was earlier.

Sheriff Mills returned to the living room wearing civilian clothes. She smiled at the sight of Ben and Alex doing their respective homework. Ben shot her a slight smile before returning his attention back to his math book. He's almost done.

By the time Ben finished his last algebra problem, the bell rang to announce the arrival of their supper. Ben let out a happy whoop at the sound, causing Alex and Sheriff Mills to laugh at him. He blushed but he shot up out of his seat and bounded towards the door. He greeted the pizza delivery man and took the boxes out of the other man's hands and took them into the kitchen, leaving the door open for Sheriff Mills to pay.

Alex cleared off the table to make room for the boxes. She gestured for him to grab the plates from the cupboard, clucking her tongue at him when he opened the wrong one. Ben grabbed three plates out of the cupboard and placed them on the table.

"Thank you, Ben," Sheriff Mills said, pleased.

Ben flushed and ducked his head. He helped himself to the biggest slice he could find in the box and took a hearty bite out of it. He let out a little moan of pleasure at the taste. God, he didn't know how hungry he was until he took a bite. Ben scarfed down six pieces immediately after his first bite and only stopped when he realized he was eating up the pizza that was meant for the three of them. Blushing hotly, Ben quickly put back his seventh slice.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's alright," Sheriff Mills quickly assured him. "Eat up. Alex and I usually don't finish our pizzas on our first night. We usually have leftovers for the next couple of days. Eat as much as you want, Ben. You're doing us a favor by eating most of it."

Ben ducks his head before smiling at her through his lashes. "Okay," he says softly. He grabbed his previously dropped slice and took a bite.

He takes his time on his last slice, he won't eat anymore after his one. Alex might like eating leftover pizza like him and he won't deny her that. He already scared the crap out of her earlier with his behavior, Ben doesn't want to make things worse for her.

"Alex," Ben spoke up. He waited until she made eye contact before continuing, "Is my dad a bad guy? Is that why you and Sheriff Mills look at me like I'm Damien incarnate because my dad did something bad to you guys?"

The silence in the kitchen that was a first relaxed and companionable is now fraught with tension. Alex and Sheriff Mills share a startled look before turning their attention onto Ben.

"What? Ben, no!" Sheriff Mills exclaimed loudly. "Your dad is not a bad guy. He's, uh, he's..." she trails off and looks at Alex. "He's a good man."

"Then tell me his name," Ben said. "That way I can look him up myself and not bother you guys anymore."

Sheriff Mills immediately shook her head. "No, that's not a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Because what your dad does is not exactly on the legal side of the law. What your dad hunts, it can be seen as though he's deranged and unstable. A killer," Sheriff Mills explained as gently as she could. "Sometimes the monsters your dad hunts look human and have human lives."

Ben went still. _Hunts? Monsters. A killer._ These three words circulate around in his brain, pinging off the walls, knocking memories loose. His dad's a hunter. He was teaching Ben how to research a hunt and how to identify if a murder or accident is hunt related before he left Ben...again! His dad left him before to go after monsters just like he did when Ben was eight.

And that's all he's got. Nothing more but that's enough for now.

"What's my dad's name?" Ben asked again. "Tell me."

Sheriff Mills let out a heavy sigh. She looked like she'd rather be anywhere but here. Tough. This is his dad they're talking about.

"Dean Winchester," Alex spoke up. She was staring at her plate like it had all the answers to life. "Your dad's name is Dean Winchester and your uncle's name is Sam. They're hunters and they saved both of us from monsters. Jody from zombies, and me from vampires."

Ben leaned back against his chair. Dean Winchester. His dad's name is Dean. His uncle's name is Sam. Sam is the reason why his dad left him when he was twelve, because his dad knew there was something wrong with him, and only left to make sure Sam was himself again. But his dad never came back. At least he doesn't think. There are still gaps in his memory. He has a feeling they'll stay like that for now.

"Okay, thanks," Ben said woodenly. "Thanks for supper."

Ben got out of his seat and walked robotically to the living room to gather his things and was out the door, ignoring Sheriff Mills' calls. He needs to think. He can't think with them staring at him like he's about to break.

He didn't where he was going or for how long he's been walking but the sound of a horn going off stopped the white noise in his head. He jerked to a stop and looked around to find out where the hell he is. He's in a park but there are over a dozen in Sioux Falls. He dug into his pockets to grab his phone but found nothing but pocket lint. Shit. He forgot it at Sheriff Mills' house. Well, that's really helpful. He doesn't even know the time to see if he's late for curfew.

Ben can't even walk back the direction he came from. He's all turned around. He just might be spending the night outside. The Marks' won't like that. They'll probably call the Sheriff when he doesn't show up for curfew, and he's prays she'll make up an excuse for him and lie about where he's at. He can't afford to be in trouble right now.

Instead of panicking, Ben closed his eyes and counted his breaths until he calmed down enough to think clearly. When he opened his eyes, Ben found himself a little calmer and a clear head. He could do this. He could find his way back to the Marks' or even back to Sheriff Mills'.

His dad must have taught him tracking skills or something, right? Well, unless they didn't get that far before his dad left him and his mom for "their own safety". Whatever that means.

Dean. His dad's name is Dean. He needs to remember that.

Some people say that the brain automatically remembers which direction he took and makes landmarks along the way, and if he starts retracing his steps in the general direction he came from, hopefully his mind will supply the correct map. He just hopes his memory doesn't "bend the map" and lead him astray by thinking he saw something he really didn't see as a landmark.

He can do this.

 **BW**

He couldn't do this. He's hopelessly lost. Somewhere, somehow he took a wrong turn, probably should have taken that left turn in Albuquerque. He knew he should have listened to Bugs Bunny but he didn't, and now he's lost.

Where does he go now?

The sound of rustling behind him has Ben tensing on instinct. All the stuff he's been learning finally came back to him, and he felt incredibly stupid for coming out here...in the dark...on his own with no idea how to ward off monsters. Oh yeah, he has the feeling his dad would slap him upside the head, ground him, and make him go over everything he's learned after he finds and rescues him.

A wave of sadness slammed into Ben. He doesn't remember his dad being a dad. He has no memory of Dean acting like a parental figure, only a teacher and friend. What _would_ his dad do if he found out Ben took off like he did?

And speaking of questions, why didn't Sheriff Mills give his dad's number to him? He could have called his dad himself. He bets that if he had been the one to call, his dad would have picked up.

Rustling sounded again, reminding Ben he could quite possibly be in real danger. Either from the supernatural or an equally dangerous human counterpart. Ben found himself reaching into his pocket to grab his knife, the knife he thinks his dad gave him for protection. Probably for this very reason, and if his dad gave him this knife, then his knife must be special and could protect him whatever monster could be out here.

At least he hopes his dad gave it to him. Otherwise he could be fighting a monster with a plain ole stainless steel knife.

 _"Only silver and iron could harms ghosts and monsters, Ben. That's what this knife is, silver with an iron inlay that's perfectly balanced," his dad -Dean- said with a bright smile. "I sent away the design to a friend to get it made. Happy Birthday, kiddo!"_

 _He presented Ben the knife and then showed him how to hold it and how to use it properly. Ben inhaled and smelled gunpowder, leather, and old spice. It reminded him of home and safety because he knew nothing would ever hurt him as long as he had his dad._

Ben snapped out of the memory, ridiculously happy to have one solid memory of his dad but his grin faded away when he could no longer remember what his dad looked like or how his dad sounded. His dad's face became fuzzy and his voice distorted but the rest of the memory remained untouched. That's not fair!

Before Ben could go into just how unfair that is, the rustling sounded closer and he gripped his knife even tighter, adjusting his grip just like his dad taught him. As adrenaline pumped through his veins, it felt familiar, and oddly enough, it gave him a boost of confidence.

It was almost like he could feel his dad's presence right beside him, whispering encouragement and tips. He _knows_ he could do this.

The sound of snarling and glinting eyes in the bush in front of him told him its a monster. The creature stepped into the moonlight to reveal it looking like a greyhound but with a curved snout and ears that were narrow near the base but widened out towards the tip. It looked weird. He had no idea if his knife could even hurt it. One thing he knew for a certain, there is no way he could run from it. It'd be on him before he got five feet.

Ben shifted to the balls of his feet and the creature snarled at the movement. This is not going to end well for him.

Taking a deep breath, steadying breath, Ben locked eyes with his target and held his knife out to deter it. Maybe its cognizant and understands that Ben is armed and willing to fight for his life...or the thing registered the movement as an act of aggression will go for his throat. Its a dog-like creature, its what they do; going for the jugular to take down its prey.

The sound of a branch breaking startled both Ben and the creature and the creature lunged for Ben. Ben let out a yell and swung his knife even as he threw himself backwards. He felt his knife connect and the creature let out a pained yelp before snarling and lunging again.

Ben used its momentum and kicked it over him as he rolled back up onto his feet in a defensive position. When the creature snarled at him, Ben snarled right back, baring his teeth.

The creature coiled its muscles as he prepared to lunge again when it let out a pained whine as a silver object ripped all the way through its chest. It looked like the tip of a sword, insanely enough, because really. Who carries a sword on them?

Apparently a blonde girl who seems to love eye liner. Like a lot. She looks completely badass though, and tough. Really tough. And most importantly, competent. Also, she's quite attractive, Ben noticed idly as he tried to calm his heartbeat down.

"Is it dead?" Ben managed to get out after trying a couple of times to form words. "Did you kill it?"

The blonde cautiously pulled her _sword_ out from the dog thing and slowly circled it, making sure to put herself between it and Ben. She poked at it and stepped back in case it was playing possum but it only remained lying there.

"I think it's dead," his blonde savior replied. She turned her gaze to him, and asked, "What the hell were you thinking being out here on your own at night with that thing?"

Ben blinked at her before narrowing his eyes in anger. "Like I knew that thing was out here. People said it was a coyote, not some dog/giraffe thing prowling around the woods. Give me a break. If I knew it was a weird hybrid I would have stayed with the Sheriff."

She shot him an unimpressed look. "At least you wounded it," she observed. She walked closer to the creature and used her sword to roll it over. "What kind of knife did you use?"

"I don't know. My dad got it made for me. Silver and iron is all I know."

The blonde hummed as she stabbed the creature through the head. At Ben's look, she answered, "Just to be sure. I haven't been doing this for very long."

"Hunting?" Ben asked.

The blonde nodded. "I've only killed an angel before this thing. What is it? It looks like a science experiment gone wrong. Frankenstein wrong."

Ben shrugged. "I dunno. Looks Egyptian or something. Somewhere around there. I'm going to have to consult my books to be sure. Or maybe the internet. Wait," Ben said as her statement registered. "You killed an _angel_? Like a real angel. One from Heaven, the winged dick types of angel?"

The blonde gave him this amused smile before nodding. She looked proud, and she should be.

"Can you show me how to kill one?" Ben asked hopefully. That woman's warnings ringing loud in his mind. If they're after his dad, they'll be after him too, and now there's this girl who actually killed one. It's like fate is finally smiling down at him.

She grimaced. "I only managed to kill it because it was distracted by your dad."

"Okay, but you - what?" Ben stuttered. _His dad_? "My dad? You've met him? Is he okay? How did you meet him? Is he with you? How do you know I'm his son?"

The blonde only answered his last question. "Because you look like him," she replied, the _duh_ fully implied but Ben didn't care.

"Is he okay?"

"As far as I know."

"Is he here with you?"

"Nope. They sent me here to Jody Mills. They said she'd help me with hunting."

"How'd you meet?"

"That's a story for another time. Come on, let's get you out of here before someone shows up and starts asking question we can't answer without sounding insane," his savior said, grabbing his arm and dragging him away from the creature's body.

Ben's mind is in chaos. Every single one of this thoughts shouting at him to be heard but one thought is shouting louder than the others: He looks like his dad. It's such a small thing but it means the world to Ben. It's like he has connection with his dad he didn't know, which is stupid, he knows but now he feels closer to his dad.

He didn't even notice where his savior is taking him but he trusted her to keep him safe and for him to not trip over his feet.

They found the road. Ben only noticed when a car honked and his name is being called. Ben blinked and found Sheriff Mills getting out of her car with a look of relief.

"Ben!" She shouted as she ran up to him and pulled him into a hug. "Oh, thank God. I thought something happened to you."

Ben squirmed out of her embrace and moved to stand by his savior. Sheriff Mills narrowed her eyes at the newcomer, her hand falling casually to her gun.

"Who are you?" Sheriff Mills asked.

"I'm Claire. Claire Novak. Sam and Dean sent me to you," his savior -Claire- responded. "And I just saved Dean Winchester's son from a monster. Bang up job protecting him there, Sheriff."

Ben bit his lip to keep from laughing at the Sheriff's expression. He knows this isn't the time but later, when he's safely tucked away in his room, Ben is going to laugh his ass off. He just prays he isn't in trouble for taking off like he did.

The Sheriff shook her head as if to clear it. "Come on then, get in the truck. I'm taking the both of you back to my place where we're going to have a _long_ talk. Starting with you, Claire."

"Sounds good to me," Claire responded with a little bit of an attitude.

Oh, Ben likes her. He wonders if she'll be more willing to talk about his dad than the Sheriff and Alex.

* * *

 **Claire! Personally, I like Claire, and I can totally see her, Ben, and Krissy becoming some badass hunters together. I'll prolly introduce Krissy in the next couple of chapters.**

 **What do you guys think so far?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry! Graduations and Memorial Day preparations have been keeping my busy. My nephew was Valedictorian of his college class! Whoo hoo! I knew he was smart and now he can't say he isn't. I have proof now, boyo.**

 **I just finished cleaning graves and I am sore. Like really sore. Memorial Day cannot come fast enough for this Native.**

 **And now the chapter. *laughs***

* * *

Sheriff Mills is a lying liar who lies.

As soon as they got back to her place, she sent Ben into the bathroom to wash up while she talked with Claire, and when he got back out, the Sheriff somehow managed to convince her not to tell Ben about his dad. That is just unfair. How could she do that? Now Claire's turning a deaf ear to his pleas to know more about his dad.

Alex, surprisingly, gave him a sympathetic smile before excusing herself to go to bed. Ben glanced at the time and was surprised to see it was only ten o'clock. Maybe he won't be late after all if the Sheriff gives him a ride home _right now_.

But he can't leave now. Not when he has someone who had just been with his dad.

"Claire," Ben tried again. Hope springs eternal, right? That's how it goes, innit? "Where's my dad at? Is he close by?"

Claire once again ignored him and continued demolishing off the left over pizza. Any other time he would be impressed at how much she's putting away at such a fast rate. He'd also be flirting with her, making her laugh at his jokes, and maybe swing a date with her within an hour. What can he say? He's that good. His mom once said he was just like his dad that way. She had a blank look on her face after she said that, like she couldn't figure out where that came from.

Ben shook his head, not wanting to get lost in his memories of his mother. He refocused his attention back on Claire and the traitorous Sheriff.

"Claire, is my dad nearby?" Ben repeated a little more forcefully.

"Ben," the Sheriff said sternly. "Leave her alone."

Ben glared at the Sheriff, pissed off that the Sheriff is once again keeping his father from him.

"At least tell me my dad's name," Ben muttered mullishly.

Tension settled into the room. _Again,_ Ben thought humorlessly. What's wrong now? He only asked for his dad's name. There's no harm in that question. At least he doesn't think. Well, unless they don't want him to look up his dad, which, fair. He was going to look up his dad and maybe get a non-splotchy picture of his father.

The Sheriff sat down next to him at the table. She turned his head so she could look him in the eye.

"Ben, I've already told you your dad's name. Don't you remember? Claire told you his name as well."

Ben gave her a confused look and shook his head. "No you didn't. I think I would remember if you told me my dad's name. That's kind of important to me. I wouldn't forget something like that."

The Sheriff shared a concerned look with Claire. "Ben, you're dad's name is Dean Winchester. Your uncle's name is Sam."

Ben lit up at that. He quickly grabbed his phone and tapped the internet icon to look up his dad, the page barely loaded when he couldn't remember why he opened it in the first place. It was to look up something important, he remembers that much but not as to who or what he planned on researching. Maybe it had something to do with hunting? Like that dog/giraffe hybrid thing that attacked him.

Five minutes pass with frustration. He can't find anything on what attacked him. Nothing useful at least. Maybe he should hit the books later, the ones hidden at the library. The ones given to him by his father.

"Hey, Sheriff," Ben starts, looking at the search engine, "what's my dad's name? I want to look him up."

There's silence. If Ben was a guessing man, he'd say it was a concerned silence. He looked up to see both Claire and the Sheriff staring at him. Ben shifted under their gaze and felt his hackles rise.

"What?" he demanded self-consciously.

Claire answered him. "We already told you your dad's name, Ben. Three times."

"No, you didn't," Ben denied. "I think I would remember that."

"We did. You grabbed your phone to look him up," Claire explained slowly. She inched away from him.

Ben stared at her in confusion. "You didn't. I would remember my dad's name."

"Ben," the Sheriff started. "We told you. We did, I swear." She shared another look with Claire before asking, "What was in the box you had me send for?"

"Is this a test or something?" Ben asked in return. "To test my memory out?"

The Sheriff nodded.

Ben bit his lip. He didn't think they were lying, and that scared the holy hell out of him. Maybe the thing blocking his memory isn't fading as much as he thought it was. Not if he can't remember the name of his dad, not even minutes after hearing it.

"It has books and notebooks my dad gave me. They're about hunting," Ben admitted. He has to share it or he might forget it and lose the only tie he has to his dad.

The Sheriff let out an unhappy sigh at that but didn't ask where the box was or why he hid it from her.

Ben hunched in on himself. He stared at his phone screen, google stared right back at him, waiting for him to search for something, but he didn't have anything to search for. Not anymore. Maybe if he had Claire or the Sheriff enter his dad's name then he'll be able to find out more about his dad.

Wordlessly, Ben handed over his phone to the Sheriff to enter his dad's name. The Sheriff followed the silent request and tapped his dad's name out and hit search before handing the phone back.

With bated breath, Ben clicked on the first website listed, an FBI 10 Most Wanted no less. Oh, that inspires so much confidence in Ben. He scrolls through until he hands the phone back to the Sheriff to click on his dad's profile because he blanked out on who he's looking for, and when she handed it back, the picture became distorted and the phone crapped out before Ben could get a good look at his dad.

Frustrated, Ben stood up and threw his phone with all his might against the far wall, shattering the rather useless device into itty bitty pieces. He grinned at the sound of it breaking.

"Well, that was dramatic," Claire said drolly.

Ben shot her an unamused glare.

"Bite me," Ben snapped back.

"What you've been through is nothing what I've been through," Claire retorted. "Quit throwing a bitch fit, Winchester, and man up and deal with it."

"Deal with what? The fact that I can't remember my own father's fucking name or my uncle's not five seconds after hearing it? Oh, what about the fact I'm starting to remember some things about my dad but not my dad himself? Like I know he was there when my little league won the championship and the father/son competition my boy scout group put on but I can't remember his face, his laugh, his goddamn scent?

"I remember he's a hunter because that's the only thing that makes sense and I got just a little flash but it was gone before I could even process the fact that I had an actual memory of my father before it was ripped away from me? Is that what I'm supposed to 'man up and deal with', Claire?" Ben yelled at her.

"Yes!" Claire yelled back. "Because of your dad, mine is dead. So forgive me for not feeling any sympathy for you. At least your dad is still here!"

"But you can remember you father!" Ben shouted, getting into her face. "Everything he ever did with you, you can still remember and have that to comfort you when the nights get rough and you're at your lowest. _I_ don't have that comfort because someone or something stole it from me!"

"How do you know it wasn't your father's idea? What if he was the one who had you and your mom's memories of him stripped away? Ever think of that, Winchester?" Claire snarled and shoved him backwards.

Ben itched to shove her back but his mom taught him not to disrespect women like that. Instead he glared at her with as much venom as he could muster.

"Don't. Don't do that again," Ben warned her. "If my dad is the reason behind my memory issues concerning him then I am just as much as a victim as you are, Claire," he pointed out.

Claire scoffed at him before sneering. "It is not the same thing. I lost both my parents because of your dad." She got in his face, her breath hitting him. "Your dad is a _monster_."

Ben saw red and pushed her as hard as he could, sending her crashing against the wall. She got back up and reached for her sword. Sheriff Mills got between them before Claire got a grip on her sword.

"Enough!" She yelled at them. "There will be no fighting or stabbing in my house."

Ben and Claire glared daggers on each other.

"This isn't over, Novack," Ben sneered at her. "Take me back to the Marks' house, Sheriff. You're gonna explain why I'm late for curfew, and please, don't tell them I got in trouble with the law or they'll ground me until I'm 18 and out of their hair."

Sheriff Mills snorted and nodded for him to grab his stuff, keeping her eye on Claire and her itchy fingers to make sure she doesn't stab Ben.

Ben hitched his backpack back on and walked out of the house without looking back, still seething over Claire's lies. His dad isn't a monster, he's a hero, something he knows deep down to his very bones, that his dad is a bonafide hero. It feels familiar somehow. Thinking of his dad as a hero.

Claire is just lashing out in anger and grief, Ben told himself while he waited in the truck for the Sheriff to take him home. His dad is a hero. He's not a monster. He's not.

He's not.

 **BW**

Sheriff Mills needs to work on her lying skills. When she dropped him off at the Marks', her excuse for Ben being half an hour late for curfew was that he was interested in dating Alex, and that the only way for Ben to do so is for him to date Alex at her place the first couple of times before she allows them to date outside her supervision.

Ben couldn't have been more mortified if he tried. He shot her a disbelieving look, the Sheriff merely shrugged back at him helplessly when Maria Marks looked away to confer with her husband.

They accepted the Sheriff's story and forgave Ben's trespass for being late for curfew.

"You know, if you had been anyone else, I think Jody would have scared you off from Alex," commented Logan as they waved goodbye for the Sheriff. "She seems to have a soft spot for you, kid."

Ben shrugged at him. "If you say so." He is so going to get the Sheriff back for that.

"I do," said Logan with a grin.

"You know, you're not as funny as you think you are," Ben told him sweetly. "You should be thanking me for leaving the house, Logan. If I hadn't have left, you wouldn't have gotten laid."

The look on Logan's face was worth the Gibbs slap to the head.

Ben cackled as he ran up to his room for bed. He rubbed the spot where Logan smacked him still chuckling at his joke. So worth it though. That'll teach him, Ben thought with amusement.

The thing is, Ben really likes Logan, perhaps more than Maria. He's right up there with Mr. Evans for his two favorite people in this godforsaken town. Mr. Evans doesn't treat Ben like he's a problem child or like he's fragile. He expects Ben to know his stuff and to act like the adult he's going to be. The dude may be only 31 but as far as Ben is concerned, he's wise and full of advice that Ben will undoubtedly need over the next year.

He finished getting ready for bed and proofed his homework before going to sleep. He only found a few errors in his work, and he even added additional notes to his history homework for extra credit.

He wondered if he took after his dad or uncle with his school learning. He had a feeling it was more the latter than the former.

Ben's mom made sure that he knew the importance of an education and Ben took it to heart, it's his way of honoring her. He'll graduate, hopefully with honors, and he'll get into a good university, hopefully with a full ride, and he'll get a good job that he loves, hopefully making her proud of him while she's in Heaven.

Does she know that he's working hard to make her proud? Does she watch over him like a guardian angel?

He shook his head to dispell the thoughts before they turned sad.

Claire's words came back to him. _"Your dad is a monter."_ No. That's not true. It's not. He knows it's not.

The look on her face though. She meant it with every fiber of her being. Maybe she knows something he doesn't. Something horrible that the Sheriff is trying to keep him from finding out. What if she never called his dad?

Ben felt a sob lodge itself in his throat, his eyes burned, and he felt like he couldn't breathe, probably due to the damn sob he refuses to let out.

His dad's not a monster.

He's not.

"Dad," Ben sobbed, losing his battle and cried into his pillow to muffle the noise.

He didn't know how long he cried or even when he fell asleep, Maria knocking on his door to wake him up for school is the only indication of time passing. He felt drained. Completely and utterly drained.

He can't go to school today.

It would require a strength he's not up to mustering for his classes and fellow peers. Oh god, he'd have to see Alex and deal with what happened last night.

 _Your dad's a monster._

Ben felt another sob work its way up but he choked it back down.

She's lying. Claire Novack is a fucking liar. Who cares if she saved his life? She has no right spreading lies like that. And it is a lie. It is.

"Logan," Ben called out softly, hoping his foster father would hear.

Logan must have been passing by his door just then, he opened the door and aked, "What's up?"

"I don't feel good. At all. Can I stay home today?" Ben asked plaintively. He pulled out the puppy eyes that always seemed to make his mom cave like a wet tissue. It seemed to work on Logan as well, he nodded his head and checked his temperature.

He frowned. "You don't feel like you have a temperature. What's wrong?"

Shoule he lie? Tell the truth? Would Logan even understand if Ben told the truth?

"I met a girl who knew my dad. She said some horrible things about him. I just - I just don't feel like dealing with anything today. I know she's lying, but..." he trailed off as he felt his throat clog up again with another sob.

Surprising him, Logan reached out and gently ran his hand through Ben's hair. "I understand. Take today off. I'll tell Maria. Got any homework you want me to drop off for you?"

Ben could have kissed him. He pointed for his backpack and Logan grabbed it, promising to drop it off at the school before he heads to work. Ben told him his blue folder is the one with all his finished assignments. Logan nodded and headed out.

Maria dropped off a light breakfast for him to eat when he's ready. She didn't comment on him wanting to stay home, only said she's here if he wanted to talk.

He's totally touched Maria and Logan's understanding. He told her he would when he's ready. She nodded and told him to call her if he needs anything. Ben replied that he would. She seemed satisfied with that and left for work.

Ben laid in bed all morning and most of the afternoon. He only got up to go to the bathroom and to return the tray Maria dropped off earlier.

Around three, Logan showed up and urged him to shower and told him they needed to talk. That doesn't sound good.

Ben took a quick shower and trudged to the kitchen where Logan sat waiting for him.

"What's up?" Ben asked, fighting the urge to fidget.

Logan smiled at him before turning serious. "You said some girl told you some things that were lies about your dad." Ben nodded. "Ben, how do you know they're lies? Do you know who your father is?"

Ben shook his head. "I don't know who he is. She said I looked like him. The Sheriff said the same thing," he added after thinking it over. Logan should know the truth as to why the Sheriff favors him so much. "She won't tell me who he is though. She told the girl not to tell me."

"Huh," hummed Logan. "Why wouldn't she want you to know who he is? Is he a bad person?"

"I don't know," admitted Ben. "I don't think so."

"Then why won't Jody tell you about your dad? If he's such a good guy, then why is she keeping you from him? Why won't she tell your dad you're here and that you need him? If she hadn't've called your dad and told him about you, then she must have a helluva good reason for doing so," Logan said.

"My dad's not a bad guy. He's a hero. I remember that much about him. He taught me how to fight. He showed him how to make a bully leave me alone. How's he a bad guy if he did all that?" Ben asked Logan seriously. He wanted to know.

Logan sat back and rubbed his jaw before answering. "I don't know, Ben. If he knew about you, why didn't he keep contact with you and your mom? Where was he when your mom died? Why isn't he claiming custody of you?"

All very good questions but Ben couldn't very well tell Logan why he thinks his father hasn't kept in touch. He might send Ben to the loony bin if he starts talking about monsters, angels and demons, and of his father, the hunter who kills the aforementioned creatures. He doesn't think even the Sheriff would be able to keep him out the asylum.

"I don't know, Logan, but I do know he's not a m - a bad guy," Ben said.

Logan heaved a sigh. "I don't want you looking for him, Ben. At least not until you finish school. I know I'm asking a lot, but, Ben, please don't do anything that could jeopardize your education."

"I - I," Ben stuttered, unsure how to express what he's trying to say. He knows he can't go after his dad, at least not yet. It's Claire's words that are haunting him. "She said my dad was a monster," Ben whispered brokenly.

He saw comprehension dawn on Logan's face, quickly followed by sympathy. He got out of his chair and hugged Ben close to his chest, whispering soothing words until Ben got control of himself again.

"Maybe she just said that to hurt you," Logan offered as an explanation.

"Well it worked," Ben muttered darkly. "I didn't do anything to her. Why would she say that to me? My dad saved her life, I know he did. He's a hero."

Logan looked like he wanted to say something but held back because he knew it would either hurt or piss off Ben, or maybe both.

"I don't know, kid. I think you should just drop it for a while. It's messing with your head," advised Logan softly. He may look like a rugged outdoorsman with a douche haircut - all the flannel and plaid strangely comforting - but he's surprisingly sensitive and laid back. It's why Ben likes him. He won't make fun of Ben for feeling like this or crying over it.

"I wasn't going to go looking for him until summer," admitted Ben.

"Hmm," Logan said, still holding Ben. He let go and ruffled Ben's hair to annoy him. "Good. Let's keep that plan."

Logan took the rest of the day off and hung out the remaining afternoon with Ben, doing his best to make Ben forget about Claire's horrible words. By the time Maria came home, Ben and Logan were in a heated battle playing Call of Duty. She rolled their eyes at them fondly, getting their attention by showing them what she brought home for supper: pizza.

Ben quit first and followed his nose like a cartoon character to supper. Logan laughed at him, claiming the win before following suit.

It was a good day, once Logan had a talk with him and pulled him out of his funk, having his favorite food is just the icing on the top. They told jokes and laughed at each other for their wild stories, trying to one up the other. Logan won. He was a crazy mofo when he was younger, much to Ben's delight.

The phone ringing during dessert had Ben tensing, making Logan's protective instincts kick in, and Maria to answer the phone. She talked for a bit before looking at Ben, a sad expression on her face.

"Okay, I'll have him get ready," Maria said. She hung up without saying goodbye. "Ben, you need to gather your things, Jody is coming to pick you up, and she said she'll have you back by Sunday."

Ben didn't like the sound of that. That's four whole days with someone who's been keeping his father from him.

"No."

Maria heaved a loud, unhappy sigh. "I know but she said something about hunting. I don't know what that means but she had me say it specifically. I didn't know she was a big hunter."

Logan frowned. "If Ben doesn't want to go then he shouldn't have to go."

"No," Ben said slowly. "I changed my mind. I'll go with her." At their confused look, especially Logan's, Ben elaborated, "I'm gonna force her to tell me about my dad. Alex too. And yes, Alex knows my dad as well."

They looked gobsmacked at this revelation.

"Go, but call me the second you want to come home," Logan replied. "I mean it, Ben. Don't stay any longer than you feel comfortable."

"I will," Ben promised.

"Go pack," Logan ordered, slapping on an unconvincing smile. He needs to work on that. Logan has no convincing lying face.

Ben nodded and took off upstairs to pack for the long weekend. He may not be getting answers about his dad, but Ben _will_ learn about hunting, and though that, he'll learn more about his dad's life with his uncle. He'll find a way to get into contact with dad and uncle either through subterfuge or proving himself to them by excelling in hunting that they willingly give him his dad's number.

He just hopes he doesn't die this weekend from whatever the Sheriff has planned for him.

* * *

 **Krissy will be making her debut within a few chapters. I can't wait, especially seeing her interacting with Ben and Claire and their desire to learn how to hunt. She'll be the teacher. Granted, the younger than them teacher, but she will be their teacher. She has more experience than them from hunting with her father, and I'm including Jody.**

 **I'm seriously excited to write her!**


	4. Chapter 4

**SORRY!**

 **I didn't think I would get this busy, but holy crap. I finally found time to write and here is the next chapter.**

 **Again, sorry.**

* * *

Ben held his duffle in tightly in his hand as he waited for Sheriff Mills to pull up. Logan leaned against the wall, his arms were crossed and his expression troubled. Ben felt a pang of guilt at that. He really liked Logan and he's causing his foster father stress because he wants to know more about his dad and his dad's life.

All Logan knows is that some girl, who was recently with his dad, told Ben his dad is a monster, which sent him into an emotional tailspin, and the Sheriff is somehow involved. And now the Sheriff is whisking Ben away for a four-day weekend.

"Are you sure you want to go, Ben?" Logan asked for the millionth time.

Ben let out a small grin. "I'm sure, Logan," he assured the older man. "I'll be fine, and if I want to leave, I'll call you. I'll use the Sheriff's or Alex's phone."

Logan frowned at that. "Where's yours?"

Ah. "I, uh, I broke it," Ben admitted guiltily.

"You broke it," Logan repeated slowly. "Why did you break it?"

"Because I lost my temper after it crapped out on me."

"What were you doing that made you lose your temper?"

"Interrogating the Sheriff and Claire, the girl, about my dad," Ben told him in a small voice. Logan had his 'I'm very disappointed in you' face on, and it's so reminiscent of his mother's that Ben felt his breath catch in his throat.

Ben shrugged at Logan and shot him a sheepish look. Logan shook his head in mock despair and reached over to cuff Ben on the back of the head, grinning when Ben let out an indignant squawk and moved to fix his hair. He patted down to how he wanted it, shooting Logan a playful warning glare.

The Sheriff honked her horn, startling Ben and Logan out of their glare-off. Logan's worry came back and he asked Ben one last time if he was sure he wanted to go.

"I'll be back in four days, Logan, I promise," Ben assured him with a smile.

Logan huffed but nodded his head and opened the door for Ben. He watched as Ben tossed his bag into the back of the truck, waved when Ben did. He remained there until long after the truck disappeared out of sight, wondering if he did the right thing by letting Ben go with the Sheriff.

 **BW**

The ride to the national park was quiet. Sheriff Mills kept her eyes on the road, and Ben knew better than to question her right now. He's gotten this treatment before from his mom and knew any question he could think of would not be answered until they were either far enough away where his mother felt comfortable enough to talk about it or she had cooled down enough to answer questions.

Ben's money is on the former. He hasn't done anything to piss off the Sheriff today that could cause her to withhold information on him.

He shifted to get comfortable and zoned out on the two-hour drive to the national park, his mind running over the information he knows about his dad and what his instincts are saying about him, and tried in vain to remember his dad's name. The Sheriff and Claire told him (numerous times, apparently) but Ben lost information before he even digested it. It left a peculiar feeling of loss. He hated it.

For years Ben has been trying to remember something of his dad but nothing ever stuck. Maybe if he quits thinking about his dad so much, something will come to him.

At least he hopes.

Ben stared out the window until the sun went down and all he could see was inky blackness. He lost track of how long they drove, he startled when she made an abrupt turn and turned off the car a mile down the road. He shot the Sheriff - Ben stifled a giggle, and a vague memory stirred before it dissipated - a confused look.

The Sheriff nodded for him to grab his stuff while she did the same. Ben complied, keeping his questions to himself for now.

They walked for what felt like hours before they arrived at a campsite with a lit fire. Ben stopped dead when he saw Claire sitting by the campfire, brooding, and he noticed that she held her bizarre sword grasped tightly in her dominant hand. The sight did not make Ben feel safe or better.

The Sheriff made a lot of noise to alert Claire to their presence.

Claire shot up to her feet, bringing her sword in defense, only relaxing when she saw the Sheriff. She shot Ben an unreadable look.

Ben looked away from her and took in the little campsite. He saw the family size tent pitched three feet to the west of the campfire, several bags lay near the tent, they piqued his curiosity but Ben ignored them. The site itself was way out of the way, probably one of the more remote campsites in the park. It made Ben wonder if the Sheriff brought them through a restricted access road to get here. He wouldn't put it past her. She seems to be willing to use her power as sheriff as she deems fit. He kind of liked that about her.

He wondered if his grandpa took his dad and uncle camping. Did he take them camping for fun or was it merely a training exercise?

Would the Sheriff know? Or Claire?

"Bed, now," the Sheriff ordered. "We have a lot to do tomorrow, and questions to answer," she added when she saw Ben open his mouth to caterwaul. "Right now I need to rest. I worked a double-shift so I could take the three day weekend off."

Ben looked around for a single-man tent. He found none.

"Am I sleeping with you guys?" Ben asked incredulously. No way! He's not going anywhere near Claire.

"Yes," the Sheriff responded tiredly. Tough. Ben ain't sleeping with Claire fucking Novak. "Man up, Winchester. I'm sleeping between you two."

She held up her finger when both Ben and Claire got ready to complain. "Aht! Bed. Now."

Ben huffed and plopped himself down next to the fire. He's not opening the tent, nor is he going to help out in any way. He knows he's being petty but dammit. He thinks he's earned a little pettiness these past few months.

Claire sneered at him and dumped a bucket of water on the fire to douse it. Ben glared right back, unbothered by loss of light.

The Sheriff sighed exasperatedly.

"Bed, Claire," she ordered firmly. She turned to Ben and said softly, "Don't stay up too late. We have a busy day tomorrow."

Ben ignored her and drew his knees up to his chest so he could wrap his arms around them. The Sheriff sighed again but didn't say anything. She reached over to mess with his hair but Ben dodged her touch, not wanting the contact.

He heard her walk away and zip up the tent to keep the bugs and wildlife out.

After what felt like an hour, Ben drew his gaze from the smoking fire pit to stare at the stars, maudlin. He's been feeling that a lot lately. He found comfort in stargazing. If he concentrated hard enough, he can hear his mom giggling to someone - he suspects it's his dad - and he can hear the answering rumble from a man, and he can feel the ghost of a hand ruffling up his hair before settling at the nape of his neck.

Wood smoke, leather, and gun oil are the strongest scents that bring forth a fuzzy memory of his dad. He can almost make a face sometimes.

Ben fell asleep and woke up to the smell of fire and bacon. His stomach rumbled loudly, waking up the rest of his body, especially the pains in his neck and back from sleeping on the ground with his back against a pine tree. His ass felt numb. He doesn't think he can stand up.

He peeked an eye to see the Sheriff and Claire tending to the food and coffee. He opened the other once he realized there was no spikes of pain from the too bright sun. A glance upward had him grinning in appreciation of Mother Nature and he even patted the tree trunk in thanks. The branches of pine needles mercifully blocked out majority of the sunlight. Small boons.

"Hey, sleepyhead," the Sheriff greeted in a disgustingly chipper voice. She must be using black magic of some sort to be that goddamn happy this early in the morning.

Ben grunted at her then promptly groaned when he moved his body.

Ow. Owowowowowow.

Won't be doing that again any time soon.

Nope. Nuh uh. His body has spoken and Ben is going to listen to it. It knows what's best for him.

Laughter has Ben opening his eyes, eyes he didn't even notice had closed, to see Claire sneering at him from her place by the camp fire. Ben sneered right back but refused to move. He wasn't lying when he said he was gong to listen to his body and its commands, and right now it's saying "Don't fucking move", and Ben is obeying.

"Hush, Claire," the Sheriff admonished with an exasperated eye roll. "Come eat, Ben," she added.

"Bring me the food or leave me alone," Ben replied with all seriousness. He's scared to move and wake up previously unknown stiff muscles.

Hell, moving his neck is proving to be a task worthy of Hercules.

He let out a pained groan and sunk further onto the ground so he was lying flat on his back. Hot needles stabbed throughout his body and his muscles threatened to cramp from the unexpected exertion. He forced himself to relax every muscle in his body . . . well, almost every muscle. There are a few that need to be kept tightly controlled, unless an accident should occur of humiliating proportions.

Claire would love that.

He can't believe he ever thought she was attractive.

He has a debt to her though, one he has to repay real fast because he doesn't want to feel like she has one over him. She saved him from one dog creature, that's it. Ben could easily repay that once he had the sufficient training.

Now that he's thinking of it, Ben doesn't think Claire has any more hunting experience than him, though Ben might have her beat on the knowledge front thanks to his dad's books.

The sound of something heavy being dropped right next to his head had Ben turning his head slightly to the right to see an ancient looking book that looked bigger than a Manhattan phone book. It had a beautifully yet creepily designed cover with gold gilding. He felt instantly drawn to it, and he can hear a faint voice whispering to him, though he suspects it's mostly in his head than any actual whispering.

"My dad gave you that book," is what Ben says instead of asking where Claire got it.

Claire's eyes widened in surprise before narrowing.

"How do you know that?"

"I just do," Ben replies, not knowing how to explain how he knows that. Call it instinct or common sense, but if Claire really did leave his dad not long ago, then he wouldn't have let her go without knowing how to protect herself should she choose to hunt. The sword she has won't be enough against some of the things that go bump in the night. And sometimes during the day as well.

Monsters. Monsters. Monsters everywhere!

Ben stifled a giggle.

The Sheriff shifted in her seat and asked, "Ben, I want to think real hard, how do you know your father gave Claire the book?"

"I just do," he shrugged in answer.

The Sheriff shared a look with Claire that had Ben huffing in annoyance. How do women know how to talk without talking? They just met! How can they possibly know what the other is thinking without one word being said? Not even half a word to give a hint. Is it only a girl thing?

Ben and his mom had a similar thing but that's because it would mean punishment (certain death) if Ben missed any of his mother's nonverbal cues. Would him and his dad have that as well? Does his dad and uncle have that nonverbal thing going on too? They would have to, right? He means, they're hunters, sometimes being quiet is the difference between life and death in their line of work. Like his dad raises an eyebrow at his uncle and wait for a count of three before attacking at the same time to take out some ghost or monster in perfect unison.

That sounds kind of badass. Ben wants that.

"Claire," the Sheriff admonished. "Tell Ben what you told me."

Claire scowled but obeyed and explained in a monotone. "Your dad gave it to me even after I tried to get him killed by these two people who said they'd kill him for me. I wanted him dead because he's the reason my family is gone."

Ben whipped his head towards her, ignoring the pain the move brought, and glared hotly, his face turning red as he tried to keep from losing his temper. His fingers curled into fists as his nails cut into his palms.

"But I didn't go through with it," Claire admitted, voice losing its cold edge. "I couldn't. Your dad understood and gave me the book to learn about hunting. He told me to come to Jody Mills, said she'd teach me all about hunting - that it was a safe place."

Ben's glare didn't soften. His mind still stuck on the fact that Claire tried to have his dad killed because she lashed out like a petulant child, ignoring the voice whispering that she may be justified in her misplaced rage. That doesn't excuse her. That's his _dad_. The only family - other than his uncle - he has left. She should understand that, of all people. She should understand that being alone is not fun, that having no one left is the worst feeling in the world; a loneliness you can never get rid of no matter what you do, and she almost inflicted that pain upon him.

The real and intense urge to hit her grew. His mom didn't raise him to hit women, and he suspects his dad taught him the same thing.

He settled for snarling at her, wishing he could sound as vicious as a pissed off wolf.

"Okay, children, that's enough," Sheriff Mills said in a bored tone. She threw a salted nut roll at him and pointed at the blue camping chair for him to sit in. Ben scowled at her but did as she instructed. He plopped down and surly ate the food she offered him; scrambled eggs, bacon, and sausage.

At Ben's less than happy look, the Sheriff astutely guessed why he was glaring at his plate.

"I forgot to bring potatoes to make hashbrowns."

"He's fine," Claire cut in. "The poor baby looks like he's going to cry because there's no hashbrowns."

"Claire," the Sheriff reprimanded. "Knock it off."

Claire stuck her tongue at him from behind the Sheriff's back. He retaliated by flipping her off when the Sheriff turned to shoot Claire a warning look. Claire's expression grew dark and she moved to get up and hit him, stopping when the Sheriff pushed her back into her seat.

"This is going to be a fun weekend," the Sheriff muttered sarcastically to herself as she took in the two dueling teens. "You are so going to owe me, Dean Winchester."

 **BW**

Ben learned how to hold a gun, how to fire it (dry), how to clean it, and how to disassemble and reassemble it by the weekend's end. His fingers and shoulders were sore as fuck but he felt pleased with the aches. It felt like he was finally doing something worth while, something right.

She gave them lore books to learn from. She had a journal of her own, something she told them they'll need to start keeping should they choose to continue hunting. He didn't tell that he already had some.

Next weekend the Sheriff promised to take him and Claire to the shooting range to see how much they remembered and to see what she needed to have them brush up on for next time.

He's excited. He'll have to think of an excuse to tell Logan and Maria as to why he's all of a sudden spending all his free time and weekends with Sheriff Mills. He doesn't think they'll buy him saying he's hanging out with her because he wants to date Alex, and the only way to do that is to hang out with the Sheriff until he meets her standards.

Well, Maria might. Logan won't.

The ride back to town was quiet and tense. The Sheriff turned the music up in an attempt to drown out the growing animosity between the two teens. Claire and Ben are steadily making their way to truly hating each other, she needs that to nip that in the bud, especially if she needs them to work together in the future on a hunt. She can't allow it to grow unchecked.

Dean would never forgive her for letting his son get killed on her watch by the hand of a girl he sent to her to protect and train.

Ben literally bounced in his seat the closer they got to the Marks' house. It irked Claire but she was too tired to say anything about his apparent childishness. She merely jabbed him with her elbow for him to stop. He winced but otherwise ignored it.

He doesn't know why he's so excited to be back but he is. He'll have to make up a story as to what he did over the weekend. It can't very well be the truth. They'll send him away.

They pulled up to his foster parents house, Ben shouted a quick, "See you!" then bolted up the house. He waved at Maria and Logan when he ran past them to his room. He left the door open so they wouldn't think anything was wrong with him while he unpacked his duffle to gather all his dirty clothes. School tomorrow and he hardly has anything to wear.

Maria yelled at him that supper will be ready in ten minutes. Ben shouted back, "Okay!" He gathered up all his laundry and deposited them in washing machine and turned it on after pouring in his soap and downey. He used to hate doing laundry, now he doesn't trust anyone to wash is clothes.

Ben found Maria and Logan arguing over the latest episode of _Person of Interest._ Something about the Machine and it's bizarre bond with Root. Ben tuned them out because they already argued over the subject before, and there is only so many times a subject could be argued over before it comes to the point of insanity, though Ben thinks they may have already crossed that point four episodes ago. Ben still thinks the Machine has a soft spot (a secret one) for Reese.

Logan thinks that the Machine only cares about Finch. Maria says the bond with Root is stronger.

Until the finale, Ben is holding out hope that Reese is the one left standing. Him and Shaw. And Bear. Can't forget about Bear. Let the dog live!

Ben snorted and helped himself out to some casserole while his foster parents bickered over their favorite TV show. Thank god because it meant that Logan won't be able to grill him about his weekend with the Sheriff. He still hasn't thought of a story to tell. He really needs to work on his lying skills.

The funny thing is, Ben used to be a good at lying but ever since his "accident", he can't lie worth a damn. He remembers being able to lie to his mother's face without giving himself away, but after they had their memories messed with, Ben can't lie worth a damn.

It's like he here's a whisper in his mind, chastising him for trying to lie, and he gets flustered. He gives himself away because he flushes from guilt and stumbles over his words.

He thinks his dad's the reason why he can't lie.

Which sucks. Especially if he wants to be a hunter.

It seems part and parcel to be a convincing liar as well as being a detective, of a sorts. Or at least that's how the Sheriff is teaching him and Claire. Ben can see that, judging by his old hunting journals his dad undoubtedly made him keep, that seeing clues no one else does is a requirement. A skill he's going to have to hone.

Does that mean Ben's going to have to shadow the Sheriff to learn these skills?

...With Claire?

That's going to be fun.

Please, God, don't be a dick and make him shadow the Sheriff with Claire.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry! I had this done almost a week and a half ago. I forgot about it. Again, sorry.**

* * *

Turns out God is not a dick but He does have a sick sense of humor.

Ben doesn't have to shadow the Sheriff with Claire at the Sioux Falls Police Department. Oh no, he has to have "study group" with Alex as an excuse to have a "study group" with Claire, and after which, the Sheriff quizzes them on what they read about that day. On the weekends the Sheriff takes him and Claire down to the shooting range where they spend hours working on their aim, reload time and familiarity with various guns the Sheriff brings them to work with.

He has no idea what the Sheriff tells her deputies when she takes with her all the different guns to the shooting range, but Ben guesses her deputies are smart enough not to question her over things like that. Though he does wonder what they think when they see her toting around a duffle full of weapons or how they'd react if they found out the guns were for a couple of teenagers.

Now _that_ would make them think their sheriff is a little off the deep end.

Stifling a laugh, Ben finished up his Algebra homework and proceeded to work on his art project that's due at the end of the week. Some of his classmates are starting to realize he's a bit of a nerd when it comes to his school work and are starting to tease him for his studying habits. Well, excuse him for wanting to go to a decent college with a full academic scholarship.

Would his dad be proud of him for working so hard on his school work or would his dad prefer he turns his attention to hunting? God, there is so much he wants to ask his dad but he can't. At least not right now.

The Sheriff promised she would call him the second his dad got in contact with her but warned him not to hold his breath. His dad is prone to not getting in contact with old friends unless it was absolutely necessary or he had no other choice. The Sheriff told him his dad has a martyr and guilt complex so vast that it puts the Grand Canyon to shame when it comes to the safety of his friends, and would often push them away to "keep them safe" from whatever it is he's currently battling. His uncle is apparently the same way.

Until his dad returns the Sheriff's call, he's been keeping his head down and focusing on school and learning how to be a hunter.

Ben is spending so much time with Claire, he's starting to think her cruel barbs and insults are witty and endearing. It's like Stockholm Syndrome or something because he feels odd when he doesn't see her for a day and finds himself missing her. That can't be good, right? Psychology isn't his thing.

Maria and Logan have been awesome and rewarded his dedication to school by not asking any questions about his "relationship" with Alex and the Sheriff. That's good 'cause Ben has not been able to think of a suitable explanation as to why he's spending so much time with Sheriff Mills and her adopted daughter. Well, Logan already knows the Sheriff knows his dad so he could say he's hanging out with her to learn about his dad, but then he runs into a problem should Logan ask about what he's learned about his father. He's still shit at lying that it could backfire horrendously.

So yeah, he's happy with this arrangement . . . for however long that lasts.

He is starting to go a little crazy though. He has no social life outside of the Sheriff, Claire and his foster parents. He needs to let off a little steam but his current status as the school nerd is seriously hampering his ability to get invited to parties. He needs to party or something. Like now.

Or even go for a ride. Just drive for an hour or so, letting the wind roll over him with the windows down, music blaring out the speakers as he cruises down the highway, and not a care in the world dragging him down. The action feels familiar somehow. He bets his dad did that with him. His mom didn't. She didn't like blasting music out while driving with the windows down. It was one or the other, never both, so it had to have been his dad.

Logan and Maria would never let him take their car for that long.

Would the Sheriff? Maybe she'd understand his desire to just drive for an hour or so. It wouldn't hurt to ask.

With an internal shrug, Ben finished up his homework and told the Marks he was heading to the Sheriff's place. They told him to be back by curfew, he promised he would, and went to go grab his bike out of the garage to take to the Sheriff's. He really needed to get a car, and soon. It is not fun riding a bike everywhere.

Claire teases him constantly about his ride. She has this perpetual sneer on her face and Ben tells her she's very attractive like that, her face twists even more, and Ben laughs at her. The Sheriff usually breaks them up before they sling even more harsh insults.

Alex is usually in the corner laughing at them. Claire flings an insult at her before storming off into her room and slamming the door shut, making Ben and Alex laugh their asses off, quite loudly too. On purpose of course, just to make Claire peek her through the door to yell at them in an even more colorful language. Colorful enough the Sheriff yells at her to watch her language.

Ben and Alex are usually rolling on the floor in laughter at that point. The Sheriff shushes them but gives up after a few minutes.

That's the routine at least. They have a routine. That's how little of a life he has. He has a routine with people Ben couldn't stand two months ago (in Claire's case a month ago). God, he really wishes the Sheriff will let him use her car.

"Hey Sheriff," Ben greeted her when he walked through the door without knocking.

The Sheriff replied back without looking up from the table, "Hey, Ben. What's up?"

"Can I borrow your car? Just for an hour or so. I'll put gas in," Ben added as in incentive. He really needed to get away for a bit.

"Why do you need my car? Why didn't you ask the Marks'?" She asked reasonably, finally looking up at him.

Ben shifted on his feet, ducked his head and mumbled, "They won't let me take the car for that long. I swear I just want to drive, to get out of my head a bit, you know? There's nothing like driving down the highway, windows down with music blasting out the speakers. It's how I get out of my head for a bit," Ben admitted. "It's either that or I find a party to go to."

There was silence that seemed a little bit . . . loaded, if Ben had to guess. He looked up to see the Sheriff looking at him with an odd expression on her face. Now Ben's starting to know her faces and this one is her 'God he reminds of [insert his dad's name here] so much that it's surprising and a little heartbreaking' face. Ben's not a big fan of that face. She's sad for him whenever she gets that expression and Ben is starting to hate it. At least he knows he has a lot in common with his dad.

He's starting to get good at finding the upside of things, which is a good thing according to the Sheriff. Especially in the line of work Ben wants to go into.

"Fine, but I expect you to fill the tank up," the Sheriff said, pulling him out of his thoughts.

Ben lit up. "Really?" he asked incredulously. He expected to work a little harder on convincing her to let him borrow her car.

"Go before I change my mind," she shooed him away with a grin. She tossed him her keys and Ben took off before she really did change her mind.

"Thanks, Sheriff!" Ben yelled as he ran out the door. He heard Claire and Alex set up a caterwaul at the unfairness of Ben getting to use her car when they can't. He grinned widely and taunted them with the keys from the car. Their faces turned ugly and they started gesturing wildly, undoubtedly yelling at the Sheriff.

Ben let out a laugh as he turned on the ignition and drove out of there before Claire snapped and came after him. Thank God the Sheriff didn't park in the driveway and instead parked on the street.

He drove for hours, letting his mind quiet as he took the back roads, not wanting to run into anyone. He kept his promise and filled up the gas tank before returning back to the Sheriff at precisely 9 o'clock. Three hours after he intended but not even the Sheriff could complain since he filled up her tank.

Well, _she_ didn't complain, Alex and Claire did though.

Luckily, Ben tossed the Sheriff her keys and took off before they could hit their stride while yelling at him. He shot the Sheriff a commiserating look through the window. She shook her head at him and turned her attention to the complaining girls. He saw her raise her hand in a very familiar manner that told him Alex and Claire were gonna get a real talkin' to, and they weren't gonna like it or him, knowing Claire she'll blame him for her getting a lecture.

Ben'll take it. He's used to her blaming him for everything going wrong in her life. Better him than his dad.

Maria left him some peanut butter cookies she undoubtedly stress baked - she's waiting to hear back on whether or not she got hired full time for her job as an assistant at the local real estate office - were left on the counter for him when he got home. He read the note that told him his dishes before balling it up and threw it towards the over flowing trash bin. It bounced off a paper plate and onto the floor.

Close enough.

He ate over half the cookies and saved the rest for his snack during his study session with Claire after school. She's lucky she's a drop out. She has more time to learn about the creatures they may encounter as future hunters.

The Sheriff told him if he even _thought_ about dropping out, she'd tell Logan and Maria, she'd stop training him, and worst of all, when his dad finally contacted the Sheriff, it would be the first thing she told him. Ben didn't know if school was important to his dad but he rather not disappoint his dad before Ben even remembered him. Getting yelled at by his father during their first meeting, is not one of the ways he imagined meeting his dad after so many years apart.

Maybe that's a good thing. After his dad is done yelling at him, Ben could yell right back at him for taking his memories away. It's a good ice breaker.

It'd be cathartic.

Besides, it's not like Ben would actually drop out of school. He made a promise to his mom and he intends to keep it. He'll hunt full time after he graduated from college with a Masters in Engineering or something. He's not sure yet. Choosing a major seems more like a second year thing than a first year one, and he doesn't intend to fall into something he might not even like.

He's heard horror stories about choosing a major too soon and wasting money on a degree they didn't even want in the first place. Ben has no intention of wasting money like that.

He can minor folk lore or something, right?

Shaking his head, Ben shucked off his clothes and trudged his way to the bathroom to get ready for bed. It may be earlier but he feels exhausted. He has all his homework done and the zen he found while driving is still lingering, which means he'll be able to go to sleep tonight without overthinking everything that happened today. A rarity lately.

When Ben's head hit the pillow he was instantly thrown into a dream full of shadows, fire, lightening, loud voices and the smell of sulfur that was suffocatingly strong. He saw his mom tied up and a shadow appear in front of her. She screamed in terror, Ben's own heartbeat threatened to burst out of his chest, and he screamed a name, his dad's he thinks. The only thought in his mind was that his dad will come and save them like he did last time with the monsters who looked like kids.

One of the shadows let out a cruel laugh and made its way towards Ben. He screamed louder, hoping his dad could hear him and come save him and his mom. The shadow got closer and Ben saw black eyes staring at him, glittering with malice, and when it opened its mouth, Ben saw rows of razor sharp teeth dripping with blood, and the smell of sulfur grew stronger.

The fetid smell almost made him throw up but he kept on screaming for his dad. His dad will come. He will. He always does. He'll kill the monsters and make them pay for hurting and scaring Ben and his mom.

"Dad!"

"Ben!" A voice yelled from far away. He's here! His dad's here! Ben knew he'd come. "Ben, where are you?"

"I'm here! Dad, I'm here!" He screamed so hard he felt his vocal cords strain and threaten to break but Ben didn't care.

The voice came closer, yelling his name in a deep voice. He could hear the rage and worry in the tone. He's almost here. He'll save him and his mom.

"Ben, wake up!" His dad shouted. "Wake up!"

He looked up at the door to see his dad's shadow on the other side. "I'm here! Dad, help me! Dad, please! Help me, the monster's gonna get mom! Daddy!" He screamed again as loud as he could.

"Ben!" Another voice yelled out, and Ben flinched from it. "Ben, wake up, you're dreaming. You need to wake up right now," the voice that's not his dad's ordered in a scared tone.

Ben ignored it in favor of screaming for his dad to come save him. His throat felt like it was on fire but it didn't him stop him, in fact it spurred him on, convincing him that if he kept yelling, it'll make his dad move that much faster. It seemed to work, too. His dad was at the door and Ben could hear him yelling for Ben to stand back.

Kind of a moot point since Ben is downstairs, far away from the door at the moment.

Just as his dad kicked the door in - Ben could see his father's silhouette - he's woken up suddenly, and this time when he yells, his voice gives out. He's cold. So cold. And wet.

Ben opened his eyes to see Logan standing above him, pale, and holding a bucket that, Ben is assuming, recently held cold water.

"Wh-," Ben started to cry in outrage but his voice gave out into nothingness. He lost his voice, and not only that, but his throat feels like he gargled lava recently. He must have been screaming in real life as well as in his dream. If so, no wonder Logan looks completely freaked. Maria comes running in, phone on her ear, looking just as pale as Logan.

Oh, man.

Before Ben could even pantomime just how sorry he was for scaring them so badly, the Sheriff comes bursting in, still wearing pajamas. Well, isn't that great? Claire is so going to tease him for this.

Maria hangs up the phone, so Ben thinks she was on the phone with the Sheriff in the first place. The Sheriff takes over the situation and calms Logan and Maria down before sending them out the door so she could talk to Ben in peace, though Ben suspects it's so he could talk about what his dream was really about.

It's a nice thought but he really doesn't think he could actually, physically speak at the moment. He doesn't feel like writing and it'd take too long to text.

Not that it matters. The dream is already fading, but the fear is still there.

"Are you okay, Ben?" the Sheriff asked in a soothing voice. He thinks it's her 'cop voice'.

Ben hesitated before nodding.

"Nightmare?" Ben nodded again. "Demons or monsters?" The Sheriff inquired.

Ben shrugged and gestured towards the right to signify monsters. He has no idea what demons look like, the pictures in the books are not very helpful in that aspect. It's all kind of abstract when the illustrators of the lore books try to draw what they think a demon looks like. Like he said, not very helpful.

The Sheriff hummed thoughtfully. She moved to sit by him on the bed.

"Ben, do you know what time it is?" she asked softly.

Ben shook his head and looked at his alarm clock to check the time. His jaw dropped when it read 6 A.M.. He thought it was earlier than that. He feels like he barely went to sleep before the heart of the dream started. The fear still lingered from the dream, but at least it wasn't fading away like anything else that has to do with his father.

Granted, he never really saw his father's face, and his voice was distorted, so he guesses that's why he can remember the dream with the limited detail given to him. Soooo...upside?

Ben pointed towards his throat and then at the clock, silently asking how long he'd been screaming.

"Since you went to bed at ten last night," she answered with a grimace of sympathy.

He blinked in shock. There is no way he'd been screaming for eight hours straight. No wonder Logan and Maria looked freaked and called the Sheriff. Why didn't they call the hospital or something?

The Sheriff guessed what he was thinking.

"I told them not to call the ambulance, told them I'd take care of it. I must have taken too long since Logan gave you an impromptu ice bath," she said wryly. Ben snorted then grimaced in pain at the action. He won't be doing that again.

"Though I think we should take you to the hospital anyway. I'm pretty sure you'll need something for your throat."

Ben nodded his head instead of grunting.

"Get dressed," the Sheriff ordered.

Ben saluted and got a snort of amusement from her. He gave her a cheeky smile, ignoring the lava in his throat, before he changed into some pants and a shirt. Maybe he should be a little self-conscious about being practically naked in front of the Sheriff but he views her as a second mom, and he wouldn't have been embarrassed in front of his mother by being in just his boxers.

She nodded at him and lead the way out to her car, she stopped to talk to the Logan and Maria, she waved him by when it looked like he was gonna stop too. He gave them an 'I'm sorry' face when he walked passed.

He waited in the Sheriff's car, happy she brought her personal car instead of her police truck, he has no idea how he'd fend off his fellow classmates' questions as to why the sheriff was at his house at ass o'clock in the morning. They already think he's a nerd, he doesn't need them to think he's a troubled nerd as well. His popularity is damn near nonexistent at this point, he doesn't need a bad reputation on top of everything else, and most importantly, he doesn't need Claire to hear about this.

She'll never let him live it down.

Alex might be a little sympathetic to his plight but that will only go so far. Soon she would join in on Claire's teasing of him.

Teenage girls are mean when they don't like you.

The Sheriff emerged from the Marks' house looking a little haggard. What happened in there? What did they talk about? Is he going to be relocated because of this incident? If so, where will he go? Would the Sheriff keep him or would she think he'd better off away from her and the life he's thinking of pursuing?

Anxiety kicked in and his breathing picked up in pace as he struggled to breathe and calm down. No point in worrying about something when there's no proof any of those fears will come to anything.

Ben was a second away from a full on panic attack when the Sheriff entered the car. She noticed his distress and quickly fell into mom mode instead of cop mode, for which he was grateful.

The Sheriff managed to cut off his impending panic attack without saying a word.

"You ready?" She asked instead of asking if he's alright.

Ben nodded that he was.

The ride to the hospital was quiet and Ben could feel the Sheriff shooting him concerned looks every now and then but didn't say anything. Again Ben is grateful for her tact.

He knows he can't say anything but he's too exhausted to pantomime what's going on with him.

It's a memory, a foggy one granted, but it _is_ a memory of his dad. A memory he remembers (yes, he knows how that sounds, but considering what's been going on with him these past few years, it's the wording that works best), though thinking about it now, Ben's not all too sure he wants to keep that particular memory. The fear he felt is all too real for him. He'd rather go back to those vague, distorted beyond recognition memories if they're all going to be like that one, and he's honestly terrified they will all be like that.

Ben closed his eyes to block out any distraction so he could think, and all of a sudden he could feel a familiar weight in his hands, the weight of a sawed-off shotgun, and he could hear a voice (his dad, presumably) yelling at him to shoot at anything in their way.

He could feel the powerful recoil of the shotgun as he shot at shadow after shadow. He feels a real urgency in his movement. His dad's counting on him to get them through all the monster shadows (Demons?), he's counting on Ben to clear the way because his mom is hurt. She's hurt real bad because one of the shadow monsters hurt her to hurt his dad, and if they don't hurry, he could lose his mom. The thought steadies his hand and banish any doubts of shooting the shadow monsters.

"Ben!" The Sheriff shouted and shook him out of his pseudo-dream/memory.

He shrugged her off and gestured with his hands, 'what?'

"We're here. I've been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes. You weren't answering me," she said, worry clouding her face.

Ben glanced at the clock to confirm he lost over fifteen minutes, the ten minutes it would have taken to get to the hospital from the Marks' house, plus the five minutes it took for the Sheriff to get his attention. What is going on with him?

Is it good or bad this is happening now?


	6. Chapter 6

**I actually had this done last week but I was busy af. I hope y'all like it! ...and sorry again for wait.**

* * *

 _He's writing in a journal, a leather bound journal. It looks pretty pricey. He must know this because he's taking care with his penmanship as he jots down a paragraph from a creepy looking mythology book. There's a carefully pasted picture of a wendigo next to the paragraph he's copying down. He can hear his parents talking downstairs while they were making breakfast, dad is most likely making his mom's favorite healthy "omelet" before she heads off to work._

 _Once she's gone, his dad will make them his famous meatlover's breakfast, sunnyside up eggs for his dad, and scrambled eggs for Ben. If his dad is feeling ambitious, he'll also make either pancakes, waffles or french toast from scratch to go along with the bacon, sausage, and ham. Their plates will be piled high._

 _Mom usually disapproved of their breakfast, claiming all that fat will make them lethargic while they were at work/school. Ben can attest to the valerity of that statement, but damned if he'll admit it. He loves his dad's breakfast._

 _They'd eat and once they were done, his dad would drive him to school on his way to work._

 _It was routine._

 _Ben grinned at his dad, cheeks puffy from a mouthful of french toast, but he couldn't see him because of the light shining through the window, silhoetting his dad's face. He could see his dad smiling back, though. Or to be more specific, he can feel his dad smiling back at him, with the love and pride a parent has when looking at their child. Ben likes that smile coming from his dad, his mom, too, but coming from his dad has a . . . newer (?) feel to it._

 _"Hurry up, Ben," his dad's distorted urged him. "I need to pick up some supplies from the hardware store before I drop you off at school."_

 _Ben nodded his head and started shoveling his food into his mouth, his dad copying him, sharing a private grin with each other at the thought of his mom finding them stuffing their mouths. She'd lecture them before whacking them upside the head in reproof to drive the point home._

 _They finish eating and dump their empty plates into the sink on their way out the door. Just as Ben crosses the threshold, a blinding light and a jarring noise has Ben flinging his hands over his ears and shutting his eyes as a voice boomed out:_

 _ **Wake up, Ben Winchester, and remember.**_

Ben shoots up out of his bed and trips over the blankets tangled around his legs. He crashes onto the floor with a loud and painful thump, he bites his lip to keep from crying out in pain. It's been a month since his screaming incident, the Doctors told him not to talk at all for a month and a half, two if Ben feels like he's not up to speaking yet.

He's frankly terrified to even grunt. They told him he's lucky he didn't permanently damage his vocal chords. He had been put on vocal rest as treatment as well as some pills he can't pronounce and a shit-load of tea and honey.

He is so sick of tea. So, so, _soooo_ sick of tea.

Logan came bursting through his door and tripped over Ben's prone form, sending him crashing on top of Ben's recently vacated bed. He bounced once before his momentum sent him crashing on the other side of the bed. Ben stifled a giggle when his foster father popped his head up from the other side of the bed like a jack-in-the-box, his hair all in disarray and face creased with worry as he crawled over Ben's bed to check on him for any injuries.

Once he was satisfied Ben is uninjured, he gave Ben a small smack upside his head for worrying him.

Ben and Logan developed a way to communicate without Ben needing to write or text anything. Funnily enough, it is what he'd been hoping to achieve with his biological father, but instead of using only facial expressions, they use their own sign language. Totally made up so Maria can't participate.

It wasn't on purpose, them excluding her, but she ended up working quite a bit these past few weeks. Ben knew she felt guilty about that. He had no idea how to absolve her of her guilt.

Maria came into the room, her face changing from concern to exasperation at finding Ben and Logan on the floor. She shook her head and walked out without saying a word, Ben's hoping it was so she could go start breakfast, and not back to bed.

Ben shoved Logan in retaliation to him smacking Ben in the head. They had a mini shoving contest until Logan ended it by sitting on Ben until Ben slapped Logan's leg in submission.

Logan did a little victory dance, laughing in triumph as Ben pouted on the floor, still wrapped in his blanket. Ben reached over and swiped Logan's foot out from underneath him, sending the older man crashing back on to the floor with a loud _thump!_ that sounded painful even to Ben's ears. He rocketed up to his feet and took off to the relative safety of the kitchen where it had numerous exit routes.

Maria was indeed making breakfast, Ben ran to hide - cower, if he's being honest - behind her. Logan came barrreling down the hall, skidding to a stop when he spotted Ben hiding (cowering) behind Maria. He grinned evilly.

Ben gulped.

"Don't. Even. Think about it," Maria ordered in a warning tone that promised pain if disobeyed, she didn't even looked up from the stove. "Sit." She pointed at their designated chairs without looking. They meekly did as told. "No wrestling or fighting, boys."

"Yes, my love," Logan muttered, and sat down, keeping his eyes on the table.

Ben nodded towards her, and followed Logan's lead by keeping his head down.

They remained like that until Maria deposited their food in front of them. Ben's usual breakfast looked a little more goopy than normal. Definite lumps rose out of the pouridge like dunes in the sand. It didn't look very appetizing.

Logan's didn't look any better. Burnt eggs, bacon, eggs and hasbrowns. Smelled disgusting, and looked like something a phoenix threw up.

His lumpy poridge is looking better and better the longer he stares at Logan's so-called breakfast.

Judging by the look Logan is giving his food, he thinks the same thing. Suddenly concerned about his breakfast, Ben started shoveling his food into his mouth, grimacing slightly at the bland (so bland) taste. He added cinnamon and a healthy spoonful of sugar, it became a little more palatable. And when he looked up, he saw Logan shooting him death glares as he attempted to find some not-so burnt pieces to eat.

Ben hid a smirk as he continued eating his food.

Maria took her time eating her rather delicious looking Denver omelet and strawberry pancakes that had Ben's mouth watering. He has to hand it to his foster mother, she's damn good at passive aggressiveness. She wins this time around.

"Oh, Ben," Maria remembered, "Jody called and said she's taking the girls out for dinner tonight and that she said the house is open if you want to go over or something." She hesitated before asking, "What _do_ you do over there? Why do you like going over there? And don't tell me it's because of Alex either. I know you're not interested in her."

Ben stared at her long enough for Maria to start fidgeting uncomfortably but she held his gaze stubbornly.

Damn. He had been hoping that would work, hoping that she would drop it and leave it be, but apparently Maria has had enough with his half-assed lies. He looked to Logan to see if he had any help there, his foster father stared back at him expectantly. Double damn.

So instead of writing down his pseudo-lies, Ben pointed at his throat, shrugged, and shot her a regretful face. She huffed while Logan snorted into his burnt breakfast.

"Smooth, kid," Logan complimented. "But don't think that excuse is going to last forever."

Ben shrugged at him in response and got up to clean his bowl before going upstairs to shower and get ready. He waved to Maria and Logan when he left for the Sheriff's house. Knowing the Sheriff, she probably has a worksheet ready for him to complete before she gets home, and it will be _hard_. Ben does wonder if she had Claire do something similar, of if that the one she did was harder than the one most likely awaiting for him at the house.

He has so much homework now, he no longer has the urge to just drive; he's too exhausted after the day's end. It helped that Maria and Logan have been babying him since the Nightmare-They-Shall-Not-Speak-About, and took him out-and-about until he fell asleep in the car.

Like a baby really. If he wasn't so tired he'd say something about it but the gentle rocking of the car and the quiet murmurs of his foster parents lull him to sleep without fail every time they do this.

Nightmares do not mar his sleep and he gets a full night's rest. It was something Ben's doctor recommended to keep him from further damaging his vocal chords, Maria and Logan took it as gospel and drive him around until he crashes, then Logan carries him into the house and up to his room to gently deposit him onto his bed.

So, Ben guesses being treated like a baby is not completely a bad thing. He gets carried to bed every night like royalty.

Ben turns onto Spencer Avenue, the Sheriff's street, and waves to the Gauthier's when he cycles passed, amused to see them still tending to their dying garden. They are the most stubborn people Ben has ever met, he admires that about them. They're waging a losing war against fall. The cold weather killing the grass and flowers, like it always does, but the Gauthier's, they ain't giving up this battle without one hell of a fight.

He parks his bike against the Sheriff's porch, vaulting over the railing to land next to a potted plant where he dug out the spare key to unlock the Sheriff's door. He took off his shoes before walking into the living room because he has manners (and because the Sheriff yelled at him enough for not taking his shoes off before entering a house).

Sure as shit, Ben found a folder with his name on it. Heaving a sigh, he opened the folder to find some worksheets the Sheriff made up, as well as some essay questions. He is _not_ looking forward to those.

Ben decided to do the short answer questions first before doing the essay ones.

Two hours fly by and his hand is cramping up like a mother. He wishes the Sheriff would let him type up the damn answers instead of writing them, but no, the Sheriff has him and Claire going old school with their homework. It's bad enough she confiscated the books Ben's father gave him before his memory got wonky, she has him doing everything by hand. He bets his dad would have let him type up his damn homework, at the very least.

 _15) Is it best to allow one demon (on it's own with no civilians) to go free than it is for a poltergeist to kill an entire family that's residing in its house?_

Ben absolutely _hates_ these ethic questions.

They give him headaches. Borderline migraines. Claire makes fun of him when he gets headaches while answering those questions, like she's one to talk. Ben sees her palm an advil when she thinks he's not looking.

Alex and the Sheriff are the only ones who can laugh at them because they are evil. And mean. ...And they don't have to do these damn questions.

Ben does wonder every now and then if the Sheriff is punishing him for something his dad did. It wouldn't exactly be that much of a stretch. If the way she sighs when she says his name when he does something he shouldn't be doing (pranking Claire with super glue was a one time thing, honestly) or if he didn't excel well enough school to her liking, she'd sigh loudly and explosively. It'd make him duck his head but he would hold her gaze defiantly.

She'd sigh again and then make him do these godawful ethic questions as (punishment) another part of his learning process. The Sheriff must really be mad at his dad to subject him to these . . . _questions_ that are supposedly geared to prepare him for any future confrontation.

Ben seriously doubts that scenario would ever happen but he'd really like to go on his first hunt with Claire and the Sheriff this weekend, so that means he has to do his damn homework before the Sheriff returns from her night out with Alex and Claire. He bets Claire didn't even start hers yet. It's not fair that she gets to play hooky from "Hunting School" while Ben has to spend his one free night from real school homework to do hunthing homework.

At least he gets to read the hunting books his father left him without being disturbed. Claire likes to bug him whenever the Sheriff allows him to read those particular books.

She's really mean like that.

And buggy.

And kinda . . . okay, maybe sort of . . . pretty. Okay, a lot pretty.

Claire's attractive, okay?

He hates that he has to acknowledge that. He hates that he noticed her attractiveness, but granted, he noticed that on their first night together. So . . . so. Yeah, Ben doesn't really want to continue this particular line of thought, thank you very much. He'd rather read his father's books.

Good God, he really is a nerd.

Ben quickly finished his ethics questions, dealt with his headache by downing a few pain pills, made himself a sandwich so he could read without being distracted by normal body functions like hunger, and made himself comfortable on Claire's favorite recliner, making sure to leave as much crumbs as he could on the seat. That'll bug the shit out of her when she gets home. He should leave a little note for her later.

Nah. She'll know it was him.

 _Me and Amysm_ (Ben thinks that his uncle's name. He can't read it because that would be too easy for him to remember that side of his family.) _took down a pixie colony with a flamethrower we MacGyvered and an iron net we stole from a fishing boat. The flames were actually quite pretty. Ysmam_ (Really? It's not even misspelled the same way as before.) _full on fangirled over them and took pictures to show dad. Dork. -DW_

Ben smiled widely and felt a warmth settle in his chest. This is the real reason why he likes to read his dad's books so much. His dad left little anecdotes every now and then. It makes him feel like he knows his dad, like his dad is talking to him through these books, wanting Ben to remember him. Or that's just Ben's wishful thinking. Either way, the books are fun to read.

 _Dad called us idiots but gave us a small, approving smile. He even let us order pizza for supper. Yes! Something not microwaved or heated up on the crappy hotel stove that likes to shock me whenever it damn well feels like it. -DW_

Then again. There are this little bits that remind Ben his dad had it rough growing up hunting. It reminds him he might want to rethink hunting full time.

The theory Alex, Claire and the Sheriff have is that Ben's dad wanted him to forget so he wouldn't become a hunter. If so, his dad failed wickedly. Like majorly, seriously, devastatingly so. Because that's all Ben wants to do now.

 _Ah yes, Changelings. Hate 'em. Tricky, vicious little bastards. Their "parents" are just as bad. Used another flamethrower to get rid of them. It's always creepy killing something that looks like kids. -DW_

Ben felt his brain twinge at the word "changeling" but otherwise ignored it. He'd rather not zone out again and worry the Sheriff like last time a word triggered his . . . catatonia? Honestly, Ben doesn't know what it's called but sometimes a word makes his brain go fuzzy and staticky-like and he loses time for a bit. Claire slapped him last time to pull him out of it.

He could have sworn he saw a flash of worry on her face before she sneered at him in condescension. That also could be wishful thinking on his part.

And if Ben's completely honest, he only reads his dad's little anecdotes instead of the chapters themselves. His dad's stories are better anyway. Sometimes his uncle or grandfather write something in the margins too, but only sometimes. They usually correct his dad's account by being "accurate" with the storytelling.

He likes those ones the best.

 _We totally took on a lake monster. It doesn't have a name yet so I'm calling dibs on naming it. So ha! Masmy. -DW_

 _ **It has a name, Ndae. It's called the Ratashaar. -SW**_

 _Bite me, Asm. Whatever. We killed it by fire and then we roasted marshmallows while dad looked up another hunt. I am sensing a theme going on with our hunts. Fire is awesome! -DW_

 _ **You're gonna jinx us. -SW**_

 _Shut up. Go stargaze or something, princess. -DW_

 _ **I will and when I discover a new planet, I'm gonna name it Planet Awesome and you won't be allowed to go visit because you're a jerk. -SW**_

 _Bitch. -DW_

Ben bit his lip to keep from smiling dopily. These are the little writings he likes to find. He knows there's one where his grandfather wrote something down.

A quick flip through the pages, Ben found his grandfather's neat handwriting in the upper right corner.

 **Enda and Msa found a badger den while we were looking for a skinwalker cave. I wanted to tell them the dangers of the den but I know Ndea would just roll his eyes at me and tell me I'm a worrywart and Sma would nod his head in agreement. So I sat back and watched the show. I've never seen my boys run so fast in my life. After they screamed so loud I thought they somehow got turned into girls when I wasn't looking.**

 **I've never laughed so hard. Ah, the joys of parenthood. -JW**

Ben let out a silent chuckle and bookmarked that page to read when he's feeling down. That's a good one. His grandfather's additions are rare and precious. He wonders if his dad had a hard time giving these books to Ben to study. Or maybe his dad gave it to him as a family heirloom.

 **Note to any future Winchester generations: Badgers are mean S. . -JW**

 _Like really mean. Beware! -DW_

He snorted at that. His dad is a dork.

The sound of a car pulling into the driveway pulled Ben out of his little bubble he made reading his dad's books. A glance at the time revealed it was now 10. Oh, boy. He meant to be gone before the Sheriff and the others came home. He doesn't want any motherhenning from the Sheriff or any looks from Claire and Alex.

Though Claire has been incredibly nice to him this past month. That might be the only good thing to come out of Ben damn near shredding his throat permanently from screaming for so long. Even Alex refrained from rolling her eyes at him for wanting to be a hunter.

He bet she sprained something to keep from doing so. She really loves rolling her eyes at him and Claire.

Ben debated with himself before settling on continuing reading his book.

 _Asm says I should buy a journal so I wouldn't be scribbling in our books. I told him if he wanted a journal all he wanted to do was ask. I bought him a Princess Pony journal. He huffed in faux annoyance before punching me in the shoulder._

 _Shh. Don't tell anyone but the little princess can pack a punch nowadays. That_ hurt _. I'm gonna get him back. You'll see._ _It'll be marvelous!_ _. . . Forget I wrote that last part. I really shouldn't write in pen. -DW_

"Hey, Ben," the Sheriff greeted when she walked through the door. Ben lifted his hand in greeting and pointedly ignored Alex and Claire.

"How was your day?" the Sheriff asked as she lugged groceries into the kitchen. Ben got up to help, carefully placing his book on the coffee table.

He gave the OK sign. He started helping put the groceries away while Alex and Claire lugged in more bags, some were clothes and other miscellany that bought on their "Girls Night Out" expedition. Ben stayed clear of the Victoria's Secret bags and the Bath & Body Works ones. He doesn't need to be traumatized like last time (skimpy underwear he's not all too sure were Alex and/or Claire's) nor does he need to be sprayed with Pink Chiffon perfume. Logan gave him a _look_ when he came home smelling so pretty.

Ben had flushed and shook his head at the older man. He showered but the smell lingered. He can't really say he didn't like the smell because he did but he is grateful Claire sprayed him with it on the weekend. He has no idea what he would have told the other students if he came to school smelling like that.

Claire shoulder checked him when she walked passed him on her way to her room. Ben huffed and threw a wadded up plastic bag at her, grinning when it hit her on the back of the head. Claire whipped around, her hand digging into her Bath & Body Works bag, withdrawing a familiar pink bottle.

Oh no.

Ben blanched and quickly started back pedaling but Alex wrapped her arms around him to trap him. He shot a beseeching look to the Sheriff but she merely watched with an amused smile as she continued putting the groceries away.

The familiar sweet smell of Pink Chiffon assaulted his senses. He hung his head in defeat and braced himself to smell like a girl for the next couple of days. Logan just got over him smelling like a girl from the last time. At this rate, Logan is going to start asking some pointed questions about his sexuality pretty soon, and Ben is going to have to admit being pushed around by a couple of girls he has forty pounds on.

He doesn't know what's worse.

Ugh. The mist of perfume hit him. His clothes were practically dripping with it by the time she was done spraying him with it, and to add insult to injury, Claire also rubbed the matching lotion into his skin to deepen the smell and make it last longer. He felt Alex laugh, her warm breath hitting the back of his neck.

He's so getting them back for this.

Claire rubbed some more lotion into his skin, making sure to get him around his neck and chest. He blushed when she ran her hands under his shirt to make his humiliation complete, his skin burned hot wherever she ran her hands up and down his upper and lower back. Her breath hitting his exposed neck when she stepped in close to get the lotion on his back made him bite back a moan.

Feeling Alex's breath hit the back of his neck and Claire's hitting the front, their body heat surrounding him, and with Claire rubbing her lotioned hands all over his torso, Ben is really glad he wore baggy pants today. He's terrified to look in the Sheriff's direction.

"There," Claire said, her voice light in triumph. She grinned at him before flouncing away to her room.

Alex chuckled and squeezed him tightly before letting him go. She slapped him on the ass to further deepen his humiliation.

Girls are evil. Really, really, _really_ evil.

Alex wiggled her fingers at him before she went into her room, shutting the door with a quiet laugh. He's pretty sure the sound of the door shutting sounded amused as well. The damn door is laughing at him, because why not? He just got manhandled by two girls.

"I guess it's a good thing you're riding your bike home, hmm?" the Sheriff said, amusement coloring her voice. "It'll air you out."

Ben shot her an unamused look, his face still flushed from his manhandling, and he just wants to go home before any further embarrassment should occur. Of course the Sheriff would be on their side. Girls always stick up for each other, even against the men - he's calling himself a man because he can, so there! - they bully. Ben needs to get make more male friends. Some guys-guys. Manly men who won't spray him with perfume.

Perfume that smells quite nice.

No! Don't go there Ben, he told himself. Once Claire finds out he likes the smell, she won't stop. He'll be forever branded as the Perfume Guy, and he doesn't want his last two years of school to be labeled as that horrible moniker. He'll want to date eventually. Date women that is. Women.

If he gets labeled the Perfume Guy, the people wanting to date him won't be women. And he has no idea how to turn down a guy without either getting punched or sounding like a complete asshole.

The sound of the Sheriff snorting with barely repressed laughter has Ben blushing once more, and he _just_ got rid of his earlier blush. Fan-friggin'-tastic. He stomped over to the counter and stole a bag of Hot Cheetos and a bag of assorted chocolates. When the Sheriff opened her mouth to yell at him, he glared at her and made a point of gesturing towards his body.

"Oh, fine," the Sheriff sighed. "Take it."

Ben made to grab his dad's book. The Sheriff pursed her lips but didn't stop him. He gave her an incredulous look but otherwise didn't call her on it, stuffing the book along his pilfered Hot Cheetos and chocolates in a plastic bag.

He waved bye and took off before the Sheriff came to her senses and took the book back.

He never pedaled so fast before in his life. Good thing too, the smell of Pink Chiffon faded back to a more semi-manageable level. He still got a look from Logan and an amused grin from Maria. He pointed his finger at Logan, shooting him a warning look, silently telling him not to say anything about his current state.

Logan smirked in reply.

His foster father won't let him live this down. Damn Claire. Damn Alex. And damn the Sheriff too. They're all to blame.

Half an hour later, he gets a text from Claire: _"You're gonna pay for getting crumbs on my chair"_

Ben grinned and snapped a selfie of him smirking and sent it to her. She sent back one of her glaring, and another of her holding a bottle of Oahu body spray. A third revealed Alex also holding a bottle of matching lotion, they're both smirking nastily at the camera. Ben felt a shiver of something not entirely unpleasant crawl down his spine at the thought of being manhandled by them again.

The memory of Claire's hands touching his body sent a bolt of arousal to his groin, his mind conjured up the feeling of Alex's breath hitting the back of his neck to help his body decide whether or not he liked the feeling of being squished between two attractive females. His body decided he liked it and felt himself grow hard.

No.

Nope.

Definitely not going there. Ben cast his mind to the memory of quite possibly finding the Sheriff's Victoria's Secret underwear when he last helped them unpack and felt any lingering feelings of arousal dissipate.

At least one good thing came out of that traumatizing incident. Ben shuddered at the memory.

"Hey, Princess!" Logan shouted up the stairs. "Dinner is in the oven if you're hungry."

As if waiting for those magic words, Ben's stomach gave an almighty growl. Ben patted his stomach and deliberately stomped down the stairs and into the kitchen, making sure to bang the cupboards and drawers after he was done using them. He even slammed the fridge door shut, causing the whole thing to rattle and bottles to clink violently against each other.

"Smartass," Logan called out from the living room.

Ben banged his cup against the counter in answer. Logan laughed and shushed Maria when it sounded like she was going to say something about his behavior.

He scarfed up his dinner of pork chops, fried potatoes and mixed veggies without breathing. He was _that_ hungry. Ben licked his plate clean and dumped it in the sink, and made his way into the living room to flop across his foster parents. His head pillowed in Maria's lap, legs across Logan's. They watched National Geographic for a bit until Ben got shooed off for bed.

Maria came up later to check his throat before allowing him to fall into the Land of Nod.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hiya! Sorry! This was done by New Year's but I was without wifi until now. Had holidays at a place with no wifi and no neighbors for quite a few miles, but anyhoo, I'm back! With WIFI! God, I missed it. The only plus side me being without the internet was that I knocked quite a few books off my TBR list. Yay!**

 **I'll shut up now and let you guys read, yeah?**

* * *

It's Friday!

Thank the gods. Ben and Claire get to go hunting this weekend. On an actual hunt. With actual ghosts and monsters and such. Whatever it is the Sheriff is having them go after.

What _are_ they hunting?

The Sheriff said she wouldn't tell them until they were there. That meant the whole trip is nothing but a training excercise, meaning they'll only be doing research while the Sheriff watches and critiques them, and maybe, just maybe, they get to help handle whatever it is they're hunting. Ben hopes it'll be easy. His throat is still healing. Yelling for assistance will be an issue should it come to that.

Claire has been texting him nonstop since yesterday. Running theories and scenarios past him, basically using him as a sounding board. Why can't she do that with Alex? Ben has school. (He's conveniently ignoring the fact Alex is also going to school.)

Better her than him.

Or at least that's what it should have been. But nope. Claire is texting _him_.

 _Beep!_

Speak of the devil.

Ben heaved a deep sigh as he rolled over on his bed to grab his phone to see what the blonde wanted.

 **Do you think we're going after a chubacabra? -CN**

Snorting, Ben typed back a message.

 _ **I seriously doubt it. We live nowhere near a chubacabra's habitat.**_ **-BB**

 **How would you know, swiss cheese for brains. -CN**

 _ **Ooh, nice one. Haven't heard that from you before. -BB**_

 **If I say anything meaner, Jody'll kick my ass. -CN**

 _ **That's coz I'm her favorite. Deal with it, Novak. -BB**_

 **She treats you like you're damaged, you know that right? It's not because she thinks your aweseome or anything. -CN**

Stung, Ben ignored her for the rest of the night. Claire says so many hateful and borderling cruel things to him, that Ben's grown used to her barbs, but that one was below the belt. He's not damaged. He's not. His dad took away him memory for him for a reason, most likely to protect him from something bad. Bad enough to do that to Ben and his mother.

He knows this.

But - but there are moments when Ben thinks maybe his dad is _happy_ to be free of him. Maybe his dad forgot about him too and that's why he never came looking for him.

Unfortunately, this is one of those nights where Ben isn't too sure of his place with his dad. He left. He left Ben and his mom on their own, knowing monsters, demons and Lord knows what else could possibly be coming after them. The monsters and demons could have come after him and his mom anyway just to punish his dad for retribution. Any number of things could have happened to him and his mom while his dad was off living his life without them.

Aaaaaaand he's spiraling. Leave it to Claire to send him down this unpleasant path.

Ben sighed deeply, feeling suddenly exhausted. He shot a guilty look towards his backpack holding his homework for the weekend. He had planned to do his school work before the Sheriff took him and Claire on their first ever _sanctioned_ hunt, not one they fell across by accident and acted like panicked morons that could have gotten them killed if not for pure luck. Not that Claire would admit it. She likes to cling to the idea of her being Ben's savior.

God, knows why it doesn't bother Ben as much as it should.

 _ **I'm going to bed,**_ Ben texted to Maria and Logan.

He heard Maria make a vague, distracted noise to signify she got the message and he heard Logan blow a raspberry. It had him grinning. He really likes Logan. Whoever they adopt in the future is going to be a lucky kid.

 **BW**

Ben woke up before the sun did. He took a quick shower and packed his bags before heading downstairs to make himself a quick breakfast of oatmeal and cinnamon toast with a glass of milk to drink. His lightest breakfast yet. Ever, actually. He usually eats something heavy, so heavy it sends him back to sleep only to awake again much later to eat some more.

He has a sudden vision of a huge food selection of breakfast foods spread out before him on a large marble island.

Ben blinked and the vision faded, leaving him bereft. So he did what anyone else would do in this situation, he ate his feelings. He just barely put his bowl in the sink when he got a text from the Sheriff telling they're outside.

Jotting down a quick note to Maria and Logan, Ben grabbed his bags and was out the door to the awaiting vehicle, making sure to close the door quietly and lock it behind him. Claire stuck her tongue out at him before sliding over after he tossed his bags into the back of the truck. Ben "accidentally" elbowed her on the side when he got into the truck, immediately making apologetic expressions and gestures.

Claire gave him the stink eye but didn't say anything because she had no proof he did that intentionally. On the plus side, she gave him a lot of room on his side of the cab for the next three hours.

Ben and Claire fell asleep the last twenty minutes to their destination, a small town - itty bitty, really - called Riptide. One of the residents claimed a poltergeist was haunting a house in their neighborhood. It would be up to Ben and Claire to not only find out the ghost's identity but to deal with finding the grave and salt and burning the bones.

The Sheriff woke them up by coming to an abrupt halt, jerking them against their seat belts. Ben whined about the bruising he undoubtedly has while Claire complained about the heart attack she's currently having. The Sheriff merely rolled her eyes before kicking them out to do their research.

Before she drove off, she yelled the name of the motel they're staying at and told them not to get thrown in jail, especially Claire. Ben smirked at Claire and stuck his tongue at her after the Sheriff drove off.

"I'm in charge," Claire stated. "We're going to the library to find any other clues if this ghost bothered anyone else in town." She strode off without checking to see if Ben was following her.

He wasn't. Ben has his own idea. Just because Claire's older doesn't mean she's smarter or better at hunting than him. Unlike Claire, Ben already knows how to research hunts and he knows how to talk to victims of supernatural creatures. He had a vague memory of talking to someone to get them to open up about something that seems ridiculous and insane. He thought he dreamed it after watching too many CSI episodes.

Turns out it was training by his dad. Thank the gods for that.

Ben waited until Claire rounded the corner before taking off in the opposite direction. He zipped up his hoodie, took out a notebook and pen, threw on an earnest expression and walked up to the house next door to where their supposed poltergeist is currently haunting. He suspects talking to neighbors first would be better than going straight to the source.

Those being haunted might be inclined to downplay what's been going on while neighbors would be more than happy to tell everything hinky going on. People like to gossip. Like a lot. Especially to strangers.

Taking a deep breath and plastering on a smile, Ben knocked on the door and waited patiently for the owners to open. An attractive middle-aged woman opened the door, she smiled kindly at Ben.

Ben held up a piece of paper to read. _Stupid still healing throat._

The woman looked startled but she grabbed the paper and started reading.

 _Hello! My name's Alec Teague. I'm doing a story for our school newspaper about the house next door. People have been saying it's haunted, and since you're the neighbor, I was wondering if you could talk about anything strange you've seen or heard._

 _You don't have to if you don't want to. I just thought it'd be nice to have another perspective instead of conjecture for my article._

 _Thank you for reading!_

She finished reading and stared at Ben in confusion.

"Why am I reading a letter instead of answering a question?" she asked.

Ben pointed towards his throat and shook his head. He grabbed the paper back and wrote, _Damaged my throat. Still healing. Can't talk yet._

"Oh," the woman gasped in sympathy. "I am so sorry. Yes, yes, I would like to talk to you about that dreadful house. Come in!"

Ben nodded at her gratefully.

The first thing Ben thought when he entered the house was that it looked like Martha Stewart threw up in here. So many throws and useless knickknacks that are meant to "accentuate" the house and to bring a "pop of color" to a somewhat sterile house. Okay, Ben can understand bringing color because all he sees is white and every variation of white in the house. It's making him super anxious.

What if he gets it dirty?

The little kid in him is freaking out about dirty fingers and shoes and memories of a grandmother who was a neat freak. He immediately took his shoes off and left them by the door so he wouldn't track any dirt in with him. It seemed to appease the woman.

"Sit," she ordered. Ben obeyed because he's still stuck on the neat freak grandma who yelled at him for being such a filthy child, and he didn't want to make the woman mad at him.

This house is _way_ too clean and sterile. It's kind of freaking him out.

"Now," the woman started, she held out a cup of tea for him to drink. Ben took it, anxiety rocketing up to a 100 at holding something that could stain the nice, white couch he's currently sitting on. "What would you like to know about that house? It's history?"

Ben nodded and took a cautious sip of tea. It's good, surprisingly. He's not a fan of tea. Not really.

"Well, my husband Darrel and I moved here from Seattle, I thought it'd be us starting over. No more late nights at work or working at home locked away in a home office. We bought this house and redesigned to our tastes, cost a lost mind you, but it was worth it, don't you think?" She asked, waiting for Ben's response.

Ben nodded his head, internally thinking, _Hell, no. It's like a mausoleum in here. I think it's creepier than a mausoleum._

"Now, we noticed the neighboring houses, of course, but we didn't think anything of it. Every house on this block is old and rundown, save for ours. But that changed within a few years of our moving here, the others starting updating their houses to match ours. It was nice. This block became the place to be. Parties were held here so people could 'ooh' and 'ahh' at our houses. It was perfect.

"But the house next to ours, it's abandoned, you see," she informed Ben with a frown. "My husband and I tried to buy it so we could renovate it, but the deed to the house was held up in a will by the previous owner. Apparently, the Owens, the people who lived there last, left it to their second cousins' kid, a man named Marshal. We tried to find him so we could buy it from him but we'd been unable to find him."

She seemed annoyed at this. Ben hid a smile at her frustration.

"The following weeks after out attempt to buy the house, things have been going wrong around the neighborhood. Things going missing. Things seemingly breaking on its own. Animals acting strange and aggressive," the woman rattled off.

It had Ben sitting straighter in his seat. Finally, now they're getting somewhere.

"One time, the Ullmans' daughter, Maya, she's 7, claimed she saw a woman in a white nightgown standing at the foot of her bed. She was lying of course, but it unsettled a lot of people, especially when more and more kids have been claiming of seeing a woman in their bedrooms." She seemed unconvinced of the children's' claims.

Ben scribbled on a piece of paper and handed it to the woman. He really needs to learn her name. He can't keep calling her "the woman". It sounds like something out of _Sherlock._ The BBC tv show, not the books.

 _Why do you assume the children are lying?_

The Woman huffed.

"Because they are children and children tell lies and tall tales," she retorted rather acidly.

Okay then. So, she definitely has no or had ever been around kids. Just great.

He scribbled another question.

 _Has anyone other than kids seen anything the woman in white? Or anything out of the ordinary around the house?_

The Woman read and pursed her lips, she looked so reminiscent of his grandmother, Ben straightened in his seat and reflexively looked around him to find any dirt smudges. Gah! He needs to get out of here ASAP.

The Woman reluctantly admitted, "Yes. Jeanette Ortiz claimed she saw the woman staring at her from the bay window. Poppycock, of course, but John McMillian said the door opened and he saw her standing in the foyer of the house staring at him."

She seemed more convinced of this McMillian guy than the Ortiz woman. Wonder why?

"And my husband," she paused before continuing in a hushed voice, "he said he saw her staring at him from the deck of the house, she beckoned him closer. When he didn't comply, he claimed her face changed into something horrific, her eyes became black and her teeth grew jagged. She howled at him in a godawful screech. It had everyone in the neighborhood sleeping with their lights on."

 _So what do you think it was?_

The Woman shook her head helplessly. "I don't know," she admitted softly. "But whatever it is, it's getting worse. The Marsters, they live in the green craftsman down the street, had to put their three dogs down because they attacked one of their children. Sent the boy to the ICU. He's still there, getting better from what I hear, which is good. The Scotts, they had to euthanize their cat. It clawed their newborn while it slept. If they hadn't've come running in when they did, the cat would have clawed the baby's eyes out."

She took a shuddering breath to compose herself while Ben swallowed back bile. This is so much worse than he thought it would be. He never considered babies would be in danger from a ghost. From this woman in white.

Shit.

A Woman. In White.

Fan-friggin'-tastic. He needs to text Claire. Sometimes a Woman in White will go after men in their attempt at revenge but there are some who go after children, thinking they're hers. Either way, people die.

This one seems to target both. Though why she's acting up now is beyond him. Maybe Claire'll know why.

"People are starting to blame us. They say we're the reason this 'ghost'," she sneered with actual air quotes around 'ghost', "is coming after them and their children. They say we should leave. We brought a darkness with us and it's infecting the entire neighborhood." She genuinely looked hurt at this accusation.

"And I'm having a hard time disbelieving them. There's only so much rationale a person can have before the insane starts to look a little more logical. But ghosts?" She asked him, as if actually expecting him to answer her, to come up with a rational reason why these things have been happening. He can't do that, and he can't tell her he's here to get rid of the ghost that's been terrorizing the neighborhood.

She'd think he's nuts.

But then again, she's seen things she can't explain and she's floundering for an explanation.

 _I read, in my research, that if you put a salt line across your door, it'll keep the ghost away. Iron helps, too. At least, that's what I read._

The Woman read it with a blank face.

"Thank you," she responded neutrally. "But I think I'm done talking about this. I assume you have all the information you need, yes?"

She stood up, obviously wanting him to get out of her house. He probably stirred up some bad feelings and memories for her. Though he has to admire her tenacity at thinking the whole thing to be insane and not at all possible.

Ben nodded at her, quickly jotting down the names she gave and the incidents to look up later. He should send the names to Claire since she's already at the library.

He did the sign for Thank You in ASL before slipping on his shoes and taking off out the door. Lore on a Woman in White swirling in his head as he walked down the steps. The feeling of being watched stopped him. Ben slowly turned his head to the house next door. The hair on the back of his neck and arms stood up as his breath quickened in a release of adrenaline. His fight or flight instincts kicking in response to the threat of danger.

A flicker of something by the bay window had Ben taking an instinctive step back.

The Woman in White flickered into a more solid shape. Her face was as The Woman (seriously, he needs to learn her name) described it; pitch black eye sockets, almost like a demons but much scarier, and jagged teeth snarled at him. She tilted her head back and let out a blood-curdling scream that sent Ben running down the street before he even considered running in the first place.

As he ran, he saw curtains being drawn and heard deadbolts being thrown into place. He didn't blame them.

Ben ran all the way to the town library, a small ranch-style brick building, almost blending in with the other brick buildings around it. If it didn't have a plaque proudly claiming "Riptide Library" in gold lettering, Ben would have missed it entirely. He would have run right passed without noticing.

Gasping, Ben toppled into the building in an ungainly heap. He immediately got shushed by the librarian. Ben waved him off with a flick of the wrist. He rolled onto his back and sucked in as much air as he could to get his lungs to work properly. His heart thudded painfully against his chest and his limbs felt heavy and jello-y. He could still hear that terrifying scream echoing in his head.

Shuddering, Ben looked around hoping to see Claire stomping towards him with a pissed off expression and an angry tirade at the tip of her tongue but she didn't appear.

His throat burned with each gasping breath, the fear of damaging it again had Ben attempting to take smaller breaths. He couldn't lose his voice permanently. How would he be able to interrogate (yell at) his dad if he couldn't talk? If his dad ever called the Sheriff back, that is.

Where's Claire?

With herculean effort, Ben dug his phone out of his pocket and typed a quick message to Claire asking her where she's at.

His phone vibrated in his hand, almost making him fling it away. His heart, which had just calmed down, skyrocketed back to worrisome levels.

 **Library. Where your stupid ass should be. -CN**

Huffing, Ben fired back, _**No you're not. I'm here and I can't see you. -BB**_

 **Basement, dumbass. Archives are down here. -CN**

 _ **Oh. OMW -BB**_

He waited until his heart quit trying to re-enact the scene with John Hurt in _Alien_ before he even attempted to stand up. He doesn't think he could even sit up at this point. Hell, he doesn't think he even has the energy to roll over.

He texted Claire, _**Help! I've fallen and can't get up. -BB**_

 **What'd your dumbass do, Winchester? Am I gonna get blamed for you being hurt? -CN**

 _ **No. Adrenaline gave out. Need help. Have the strength of a wet noodle. -BB**_

 **Why-? Never mind. Be right there. -CN**

Thank God. The librarian is giving him the stink-eye.

Claire appeared like a blonde angel at that moment. A blonde, angry angel who looked seconds away from smiting his ass to kingdom come. Her thunderous expression, oddly, calmed him down and he finally felt safe.

'Claire' he mouthed in relief. It made her falter slightly. Concern briefly replaced her anger.

"What happened?" She demanded.

Ah. He should have composed a letter of what he discovered. Stupid him. He mimed for her to chill while he gathered his strength. He gestured for her to help him up when he felt ready. With pursed lips and a roll of the eyes, she helped him to his feet and practically dragged him to a computer and pointed at it, silently ordering him to type what the hell he'd been doing while she went to go sign in for the computer use.

Smart. He never would have thought to use a computer. He would have used either his phone or wrote on a piece of paper. He's never going to tell her that though. No. Just, no.

It took him less than a minute to type up his conversation with The Woman (name, he really, _really_ needs to learn her name), his theory of what the ghost is, and his encounter with it. Claire read over his shoulder, her hair tickling his face . . . his quickly warming face. Stupid hormones. Now is not the time for such thinking.

She frowned in concentration, letting her chin rest on his shoulder as she took in the new information. Ben fought - and lost - his fight and blushed hotly.

Claire chuckled lowly, knowing why he's blushing, and shoved his head forward, almost making him face plant into the keyboard.

"Mind out of the gutter, Winchester," she drawled. "We have a case and people to save."

Ben blushed hotter and nodded his head. Damn her for making him feel this way. It must be him. He likes girls he can't have. That must be it. Claire is as untouchable as a person can get.

He really needs to find a girlfriend or something, but with his new reputation as the school nerd, that's not looking like a possibility any time soon. He might have to hit up the surrounding towns if he ever wants a love life. Or wait until college.

College sounds better.

"Dumbass," Claire hissed, jabbing a finger into his shoulder to get his attention. "Pull up any information regarding the people mentioned. I want to see if they actually happened or if that woman is pulling our leg. We can't go to Jody with a half-assed theory."

Ben glared at her and typed, _It's not half-assed! I_ _ **know**_ _it's a Woman in White._

Snorting, Claire sneered, "No, you don't. Women in White don't act like this. None of the lore says this is her M.O.."

 _But the lore changes all the time. Thanks to my dad and uncle playing god with the rules, or so you said. What if she's drawing power from something and that's allowing her to do all this?_

Claire bit her lip.

"What would be her source of power then?" She challenged him. "What caused her to become active after all these years? There's always something that triggers a haunting like this. Find it and maybe I'll believe you."

Stumped, Ben typed, _If it's not a Woman in White, then what is it? What did you find?_

Sighing, Claire pulled a chair next to him and slumped into it.

"I don't know," she admitted. "It's not a poltergeist, especially since it's affecting other houses. Poltergeists can't leave their territory. We have no proof it's a Woman in White, and there has been no suspicious deaths in the last decade in or around that house."

 _Tulpa?_

Claire tilted her head, considering. "Maybe. Did you see any symbols on the house?" Ben shook his head. "Still doesn't rule it out. We might have to go inside and check."

Ben blanched and shook his head rapidly. No. Not going back there without the Sheriff. She must have read it on his face for she scowled at him.

"We have to, Ben." The use of his first name took him aback. "If we don't figure this out on our own, Jody won't let us hunt or even teach us how to hunt again. Do you want that? Hunting is all I have going for me, I don't want to lose that. We _need_ to do this on our own. We can do it. We can."

Ben wavered under her little speech.

 _But isn't the sign of a good hunter is to know when they're out of their depth?_

"We're not out of our depth," argued Claire. "We just started. How can we know when we're over our heads if we haven't done anything yet? We can't just punk out at our first hurdle."

 _I can't call out for help. What if something happens and I need you?_

That made Claire hesitate. "I'll be right next to you. We won't leave each other's side, I promise."

Ben's fingers hovered over the keyboard, unsure. Instinct is saying inform the Sheriff of their findings and get her advice on how to proceed, but ego is urging him to go with Claire and find out what they're dealing with on their own. That'll impress the Sheriff more, yeah? She'd be more likely to trust them more and let them hunt more often. Maybe even on their own.

Then again, if they screw up horribly, the Sheriff might never trust them again, and forbid them from hunting. She'd take away his books, the only thing he has of his father's.

Claire leaned in close enough for him to feel her breath on his cheek. He swallowed audibly.

"We _can_ do this, Ben. We can," she crooned, her hand coming up to cup his cheek. "I promise I won't leave your side."

Her brown eyes bore into his, and Ben allowed himself to be pulled in those confident depths. He nodded his head. Claire beamed at him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. His face flamed and he suddenly felt confident over their endeavor.

"Let's go now, while it's still light," Claire urged. "Better to look with natural light than just a couple of flashlights."

Ben nodded his head again, hoping for another kiss. None came. Drat.

Disappointment flooded through Ben but he rallied quickly. If he impresses Claire enough during their investigation in the house, she might give him a kiss of thanks, and there is nothing wrong with getting something out of going inside that creepy ass house. It'll be his reward. Or something. He'll think of a better rationale later.

They gathered up their things and left the library and the angry librarian.

There's a house they need to investigate. In broad daylight. In a busy neighborhood. And he got kissed by Claire. No, wait. That last one's not important, or pertinent to their investigation of a possible tulpa or Woman in White.

 _Off-limits, off-limits_ , he chanted to himself. Quit thinking about her like that. You know she used her attractiveness against you, Ben chastised. And yet, he'd still go along with her plan. He's _still_ going along with her half-assed plan without any weapons of any kind. Not even a salt packet on them. But that's okay. They're hunters. They know what they're doing.

Nothing could possibly go wrong.

(Knock on wood.)


	8. Chapter 8

_This is a bad idea. This is such a bad idea,_ are the only thoughts running through Ben's mind. Only getting louder the closer they got to the creepy house. He's still holding onto his theory of their haunting being an actual haunting by a Woman in White, but he's starting to think that Claire might be right and it's a tulpa instead.

Tulpa's are hard to beat. They're living stories. As long as the story keeps being told, then the tulpa keeps power until the story changes the host of the power into something a little more killable.

He knows there was a case in Texas of a tulpa. A team called the "Ghostfacers", consisting of the two founding members, stumbled onto a tulpa but mistakenly thought it was a stereotypical haunting. They were wrong and it was another set of people, Ben thinks they're hunters, found out it was a tulpa because one of the hunters found the symbol to make a tulpa written on a wall.

The case actually started out as a joke by two friends but by using the tulpa's symbol, the story the friends fabricated became real. Quick thinking on the hunters' part, they spread the story of killing the ghost by burning the house down. So far that story's held.

Ben just hopes this one - if it is a tulpa - will be as easy to handle.

 _Please let it be a Woman in White_.

 **BW**

The Sheriff is going to kill them. She is so, so, _so_ going to kill them.

Ben and Claire are currently cowering under a disgusting, dusty, incredibly filthy bed. There's probably bedbugs galore. He's never going to feel clean again.

Claire shuffled, one of her knees came dangerously close to a sensitive area on Ben's body. He hissed at the close call, and she clamped a hand on his mouth. She glared at him and he glared back and pointedly looked at the position of her knee. She winced at him and moved her knee away.

She mimed holding her palms out towards him and mouthed the word "sorry". Ben nodded at her and they lay still until they felt safe enough to move.

The sun started to set when they finally worked up the courage to move out from their hiding spot. Ben felt completely vulnerable now that he's out from under the safety of his bedbug ridden mattress. There's no buffer between him and the Woman in White. Claire is so going to owe him one big ass apology for not listening to him.

It's not a tulpa, thank the gods.

The Woman in White took one look at them, threw her head back and let out that awful scream The Woman's husband (seriously, he needs to learn her name) described. It sent Ben running up the stairs with Claire hot on his heels. They split up before Claire followed him into the master bedroom, it had the biggest bed to hide under.

Claire grabbed his hand and took the lead as they carefully navigated their way down to the ground level. The ghost didn't pop up suddenly to scare the bejeezus out of them. It made them nervous.

The door beckoned them like a siren song. Claire tightened her grip on Ben's hand like she's preparing for a sprint to the last few feet to the door. Ben shifted to the balls of his feet in preparation should Claire decide to run or at least be ready in case the ghost popped in. Either way, he'll be prepared to friggin' book it.

Their breath started to mist. Not good. Coldness started to seep into their bones as the temperature dropped, signaling a certain terrifying ghost is about to make an appearance.

"Oh, shit," Claire whispered. Her grip reached painful levels but Ben wasn't going to complain. The tighter she hung on to him, the harder it will be for the ghost to rip them apart and the safer he felt.

They pressed against each other, back to back, their eyes scanned every inch of the living room for the ghost. A lamp went flying over their heads, the resulting crash practically had them jumping out of their skin from the loud noise. After spending an hour or so in silence, the noise from the breaking lamp was jarring on a visceral level.

The Woman in White appeared between them and the door. She stared at them with her hollowed out eye sockets, and though there wasn't any actual eyeballs, they could feel her looking at them. It is an unnerving sensation. To be stared at without any eyes to stare back at.

Claire maneuvered Ben until he was behind her.

"What do you want?" Claire asked the ghost.

Claire's back was straightened, her shoulders drawn back, and she stared at the ghost with defiance. If it wasn't for the tremors she could feel through their linked hands, Ben would think she's unbothered by the sightless ghost in front of them.

"I said, what do you want?" demanded Claire. "Why are you bothering those kids?"

Mentioning those kids whose rooms she appeared in, seemed to trigger a switch in the ghost.

An echo-y voice emanated from the WiW (Woman in White) though her voice didn't move, another disconcerting attribute of this particular ghost.

"They're mine. I take care of them. I would never hurt them," the WiW replied. Her voice is disturbing with that distortion. "Only I love them."

Oh, boy.

"But they're not yours," Claire argued.

"Yes," the WiW's voice dropped to scary levels, "they are. I take care of them"

Ben tugged at Claire's hand in caution. _Don't piss her off too much._

Claire squeezed back. _Trust me._

"Those children are not yours," Claire repeated in a firm voice. It's her 'I'm about to lose my temper and beat your ass' voice. Ben's been on the receiving end enough times to recognize that particular tone.

"Yes, they _ARE_!" The ghost bellowed and swept her arm to the right, sending Claire crashing over a couch and onto the floor. The force of Claire being ripped from him, sent Ben in a perfect 360 circle that had him facing the ghost on his own. He took a page out of Claire's book and came to full attention. He won't show her he's afraid.

Not like hiding under the bed could be used against him at the moment.

The ghost moved closer to Ben. It took everything he had to not to flinch or move away, but god, did he want to.

Ben could feel his body start to shake from the cold as his core body temperature dropped. The ghost reached her hand out, this time Ben did flinch away, especially when she touched his cheek. The touch burned and he grunted in pain as he started stepping back away from her.

"My little one," the ghost whispered softly, the echo-y tone from before is gone. "Come with me. I'll protect you until your father comes to get you."

 _Wait, what?_

Ben stopped moving away and forgot about the cold.

The ghost smiled. "Yes, I will protect you until your father comes, my little one. You'll be safe with me. Take my hand and we'll leave this place. You don't want to be caught up in his recent screw up. Only pain and death await you and your father if you remain here."

She held out her hand to him.

"Take my hand."

Ben stared at it, contemplating. His arm rose up without his consent, his hand hovered over the ghost's. He could feel the cold radiating off of her, his breath came out in rapid puffs as his entire body start to shake from the low temperature. His ears, fingers, and face were cold. He slowly stopped shaking. That's good, right?

Before he could think it through, Ben grabbed her hand.

The ghost's face became whole. She has blonde hair, brown eyes, blue jeans, gray shirt, and a light green flannel jacket.

"You look just like your dad," she whispered. "My name's Jo. You made the right choice Ben Winchester. I'll protect you from here on out. I promise."

Before Ben could reconsider his decision, she pulled him in close and the last thought to cross his mind is, _Claire and the Sheriff are going to kill me,_ and a bright light enveloped him as he felt himself go weightless, and then nothing.

 **BW**

Claire came to with a headache that could fell an elephant, a great blue whale, and a rhinoceros one right after the other without losing power. She lay there groaning in pain as she tried to remember what happened and why she's in pain on the ground. Everything's fuzzy.

Earthy smells drowned out anything else she could use to identify where she is. Going by touch told her that she's not outside but wherever she is, it needs a good dusting.

 _Where is she?_

Opening her eyes would be a good first step, Claire thought wryly. She managed to pry her eyes open. Good first step.

Claire took in her surroundings. She's in a house. An old one that hasn't had anyone living in it in ages, judging by the amount of dust coating every surface area she can see without getting up. Isn't that just friggin' great?

She carefully checked for any breaks or cuts on her body before she got up off of the ground. She found none. Slowly like an old woman, Claire got to her feet.

Head still groggy, Claire pulled out her phone to use the flashlight so she could see better. A broken lamp lay on the other side of the room. She found multiple footprints, different sizes, but she couldn't find the other person who is or was in the house with her.

The memory hit her full force.

 _Ben!_

She was here with Ben. Where is he? Where's Ben?

"Ben!" Claire screamed. "Knock if you're here!"

She waited in silence for Ben to answer her. Nothing.

" _BEN_! Please just - just answer me. Please! Please, Ben! Make some noise so I know you're here. Ben!" Claire screamed so loud she felt her vocal chords strain and threaten to break. "Oh, god, Ben, please, please, _please_ answer me," she sobbed.

Fear ate at her when silence was the only one to answer her.

With shaking fingers, Claire called Jody. When the sheriff picked up, all she said was, "I can't find Ben."

Within minutes, Jody pulled up outside the house and was in the house doing her own search for the missing boy. Claire could hear Jody calling out Ben's name in increasing panic and fear. Guilt tore her up. She should have listened to Ben. He knew what they were dealing with wasn't a tulpa. God, why didn't she listen to him? He'd still be here if she had just _listened_.

Claire leaned against a grimy wall and slid down it in despair. It's her fault Ben's gone.

"Claire! Claire, listen to me," Jody ordered gently. She tilted Claire's head up towards her. "What is the last thing you remember?"

"A ghost," Claire answered despondently. "A Woman in White. That's what Ben said we -" her voice broke but she cleared her throat and tried again. "Ben said we were hunting a Woman in White but I - I thought we - we were hunting a tulpa. We, uh, we can to the house to look for any symbols or sigils of the tulpa but we didn't find anything but the ghost.

"She screamed, a horrible sound," Claire shuddered in remembered fear. "And we ran upstairs to hide under a bed until we thought it was safe to - to come down. We made it all the way down and were just few feet from the door when - when she appeared right in front of us."

Claire let out a sob and Jody quickly pulled her in for a hug. Claire allowed herself a few seconds of comfort before pulling away.

Wiping her face, Claire continued recounting what happened.

"She was dressed in all white. Her eyes were gone and that was there was empty eye sockets. Pitch black darkness, darker than anything I can imagine, stared at us." Claire shivered and leaned briefly into Jody. "I asked her why she what she wanted but she didn't answer. I asked again, nothing, but when I mentioned those kids, she finally responded.

"She said they were hers and that she was protecting them." Claire hesitated before adding in a small voice, "I antagonized her and she - she - she threw me against the wall. When I woke up, Ben was gone."

Jody pulled away from her and it sent a spike of hurt through her heart.

"You don't remember anything else?" Jody asked her, and Claire shook her head. "Where are you, Ben? What am I supposed to tell Dean?"

Claire flinched at the mention of Ben's dad. Oh, god. Dean. Dean is going to kill her for real this time. This is one thing he can't forgive her for.

"I lost Dean Winchester's son," Claire moaned. "He's going to kill me!"

"No, Claire! He's not. I pro-"

Claire cut her off. "Yes, he is! His son is gone because of me!"

"Claire," Jody tried again. "I promise, I promise Dean won't kill you. He'll kill me. I took his son out hunting. I left his son on his own on a hunt. His first ever hunt. Dean won't blame you. He won't. It'll be on me. He'll never trust me again. He might even take you back and find somewhere safer for you."

"Do we tell him?" Claire asked.

Jody shrugged helplessly. "I - I think we should."

Claire had never seen Jody so shaken up. Jody always seemed like a rock, and now? Now she seems terrified at the prospect of telling Dean that the son he gave up to keep safe, the son whose memories he stripped away for that very reason, is missing, possibly dead from an unidentified ghost. Claire doesn't envy the task before Jody.

Jody pulled out her phone, her hands shook as she meticulously pressed every digit of Dean's cell number on her phone. Jody tapped the "speaker" button so Claire could hear as well. Probably to tell what happened again.

The phone rang and rang until Dean finally picked up.

 _"What do you want?"_

Claire and Jody shared a confused look. They've never heard Dean that short before.

"Dean?" Jody asked slowly.

 _"Of course it's me, you're calling me."_

"Dean, I, uh, I - I have bad news. It's about -"

Dean cut her off.

 _"You lost Claire. That's good. I won't have to worry about that burden anymore. It's alright, Jody. It's fine. You did me a favor actually,"_ Dean laughed cruelly.

"No, Dean, it's not about Claire," Jody tried again but Dean cut her off yet again.

 _"Alex took off then? That's good, too. Listen, Jody, I don't have time for your drama right now. I have a certain date with Death I have to get to. See ya!"_

The dial tone sounded like a death knell.

"Well, that's not good," Claire said drolly. "Did I mention I hate Dean Winchester?"

"Many times," Jody replied, "but I don't think he was joking about meeting Death. I think he meant the actual Death, as in the Horseman."

Claire shrugged. "Who cares? Apparently he doesn't care about Ben at all."

Jody shook her head in disagreement. "No, something's wrong. If I had been able to say Ben's name, I'm positive he would have come as soon as he could. I think it's up to us to find Ben on our own."

"And just where do we start?" Claire asked sarcastically, the sarcasm doing little to hide fear and worry in her voice.

"I think we need to go back to the library and do some more research on the house and its previous owners," Jody said. "We need to be more thorough. I thought it was a Woman in White, too. Apparently, it's friggin' not!"

Jody paced the living room in agitation while she tried to figure just where she went wrong in choosing this hunt as Ben and Claire's first. She thought she had it figured it out and that everything would go off without a hitch while she let Ben and Claire solve it on their own. But nope. She forgot one important thing about Ben, and that is, he is a Winchester, and Winchesters are notorious for having the impossible happen to them.

In this case, Ben got kidnapped by a friggin' ghost.

A ghost.

There is no way a ghost could have kidnapped Ben. No way. He has to be in the house somewhere but before they could do a more thorough search of the house for any hidden passage ways or rooms, they needed to dig up more information on the house's history.

She's never letting Ben Winchester out of her sight again.

* * *

 **Sorry for the short chapter. It just didn't seem to want to work for me.**

 **What did y'all think?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Holy crap! I swore I posted this last week. My bad, people. My bad.**

* * *

Nothing. There is nothing unusual about the supposedly "haunted" house.

There has been no more ghost sightings by the children and the malevolent presence that once enshrouded the house is gone as well. There is nothing scary or paranormal about that house. In fact, in the last week, there has been perspective buyers hoping to buy and renovate the house back to its former glory.

Ben's been gone for a _week._

A week of Claire and Jody searching endlessly for the missing Winchester and have come up empty. Maria and Logan Marks have been hounding her incessantly for the whereabouts of their foster child. Jody's actually been brought up on kidnapping charges. She'd been cleared but the fact that she lost Ben didn't change.

The Marks have a restraining order on her that states she is to stay away from them and Ben, should he be found. Claire and Alex have been warned to stay away from Ben as well.

Any further attempts at getting in contact with Dean have gone unanswered. His number has been disconnected and Sam's phone keeps sending them to voicemail. Whatever it is that the boys are hunting must be pretty major if they're ignoring her hundreds of phone calls to them. She even tried contacting the angel Castiel but that hasn't gone anywhere either. Claire's even tried but it's radio silence from the Winchester boys and their angel.

Dean is going to kill her when he finally answers his damn phone.

Jody managed to get in touch with Garth Fitzgerald but he has come up empty in his attempts at finding Ben. He went through all his contacts but no one knows how to find Ben, not even a tracking spell is working.

It's like Ben disappeared off of the face of the Earth. He's just . . . gone.

If he was dead, they would have found his body, the tracking spell would have shown them where it would be, but they haven't found _anything_. Which is good. It means Ben's still alive somewhere.

"Do you think them being _in_ _incommunicado_ is because of that aftershock of powerful magick we felt earlier last week?" asked Claire. She'd been torn up by guilt. Claire blamed herself for losing Ben and nothing Jody said could change her mind.

"It's entirely possible," Jody admitted, "but if that's true, then we're on our own in finding Ben. I just - I just don't know where to look. He could be anywhere."

Alex watched Jody and Claire talk themselves into circles for the umpteenth time. They were no closer to finding Ben than they were yesterday. He's just gone. They might need to accept that they might never find him. She's known creatures that hide their victims in places that are damn near impossible to get to. Ben could be in any number of places. They might never see him again. Alive or dead.

Jody and Claire's exhausted faces had Alex spending as much time as she could out of the house. They needed help but any help they find hasn't been living up to the "helpful" part. Apparently hunters suck at old fashioned search and rescue.

Give them dead bodies with peculiar marks, they could solve it easy as pie but have them try to find a missing person, they suck. They run around like chickens with their head chopped off.

The ghost that took Ben? It vanished the day it took him and there has been no sighting since. To make things worse, because it's the Winchester Way, none of the people that saw the ghost can agree what she looked like.

The ghost was blonde (brunette? red head?) woman who had pitch black (no eyes?) and she had a horrible scream (wail). Not even the children could properly remember what it looked like.

Jody and Claire were running themselves ragged trying to find Ben Winchester.

Alex thinks they should just give up and accept that Ben is gone and that they'll never find him. It'll be easier to deal with the pain now than it will be later. She knows from experience.

"I just wish the people of Riptide could agree on what that damn ghost looks like," Jody growled in frustration. "That way we know what to look for."

"I know," Claire snapped, "but they don't so move on and think of another idea."

Jody scoffed. "Like you're coming up with any bright ideas, Novak."

"I have one."

"We're not driving out to see Sam and Dean."

"But -"

"But nothing. We can't bother them now. What if whatever's keeping them from calling us back is huge, like Godzilla size huge? I'd rather them focus on the Big Bad while we do our damnedest to find Ben."

Claire glared so hard her face started to turn red.

"We need a more experienced hunter," Claire offered. "I mean, no offense, Jody, but you're pretty green. From what Alex told me, the few hunts you've been on, Sam and Dean swooped in and saved you from getting killed. We need someone who knows what they're doing."

Jody pursed her lips in thought.

"What about that Garth guy?" asked Claire.

Jody shook her head. "He's out of the hunting business. Won't say why though. Beside's, he's helped all he could."

Claire slumped in defeat.

"Do we give up then?"

Silence fell, and none of the women could look at each other. Not even Alex. It's one thing to think it, or say it, but to actually give up on Ben, is completely different.

"Let's - Let's just go to bed," Jody said instead. "It's too late to do anything anyway. We'll - We'll think of something else tomorrow."

Claire and Alex nodded and followed the sheriff to their respective rooms. Alex pushed any thought of Ben from her mind and fell into a deep slumber as soon as her head hit the pillow, while Claire laid in her bed for hours, her mind on her missing friend. It's her fault, she knows it is, no matter what Jody says. She's the oldest. It was her job to look after Ben, and she failed horribly.

"I won't stop looking for you, Ben," Claire promised the air. "I won't. No matter what Jody or Alex says. I promise."

 **BW**

 _Bright light. That's all Ben can see through squinted eyes. It's warm though. The light, the air around him, it's warm, comforting even. Every time he tries to move, the woman appears and croons him back to sleep._

 _"You're safe," she says in that melodious voice of hers. "Sleep, Ben Winchester. It's almost time. Sleep."_

 _And Ben does. Why wouldn't he trust that voice? She knows his dad, and his dad wouldn't let anything bad hurt him. Especially monsters. His dad kills monsters and ghosts. They're afraid of his dad. Plus, his dad promised he'd keep them away from Ben. He promised, and his dad won't break this promise to him._

 _"Sleep, Little Winchester. I'll keep you safe from Her."_

 **BW**

Three weeks and still no sign of Ben. Claire and Jody scoured every inch of the house and the town of Riptide. They found nothing strange beyond people's memories going fuzzy about the house and the haunting. It's like something is blotting it out; wiping it away like Ben's memories.

Are the two related?

Eventually Jody was forced to return to work while Claire had to return to he studies to get her GED. Their hearts weren't in it though.

School gets out next week, and time keeps moving on.

Logan and Maria loathe her and the girls. They can't even be in the grocery store the same time as them. The whole town seems to be turning against them, and Jody can't blame them. The Marks' trusted her to keep their foster son safe, they trusted her to bring him home, and they trusted her to always be there for Ben, and she failed on such an epic level.

Jody should have never agreed to teach Ben and Claire how to hunt.

 **BW**

Far away in Seattle, Krissy Chambers is enjoying her stolen dinner of a loaded bacon cheeseburger and fries she took from an open car window. Seriously, some people are just plain stupid.

Her former housemates were in the wind. They couldn't handle dealing with the guilt and anger of being manipulated by a supernatural creature. Krissy shrugged it off and continued hunting. It's the only thing she knows how to do and it's the only thing she has left as a reminder of her father. There are moments when she's tempted to call Dean Winchester. He's the only person - outside of her dad but he's dead now - that actually cares about her.

He's a dork but he cares about her and that's all she cares about. Days like today, it's when the urge is strong, her finger hovers over Dean's contact information. Just one press and she knows Dean'll come after her.

The thought warms her and stills her finger. She's not ready yet. She still has a job to do.

There's been reports of a haunting relatively new construction. Witnesses say a blonde woman has been spotted in the apartment when no one is in there. It's pretty mild. The ghost so far has only scared the previous occupants away and kept others from moving in.

Krissy did her research and no one has died in or around the house since it's been built. So that means this ghost is attached to something the original owner brought and left in the house. That doesn't really narrow it down but since everyone else is afraid to enter the apartment, it'll be easy for Krissy to go in and investigate without fear of running into anyone.

The ghost does seem to favor the master bedroom. That'll be the first place Krissy'll look once she's done eating. Better to do the job at night than in the day where she can be seen.

With that in mind, Krissy polished off her food and made her way to her next job. If she finishes off this ghost, she might have a place to bunk down in for the night, or even the next few nights. She's a little sick of sleeping on the streets or in shelters. Neither place is comfortable or particularly safe.

Krissy found the apartment with ease. Check out the ghost, get a positive identification, look up said ghost, find grave, and salt and burn it. Easy as cake. Or pie, she added with a grin at imagining Dean's expression. He's such an old man.

Chuckling, Krissy hopped the fence that guarded the new apartments and picked the lock to get inside the haunted domicile. Krissy grinned wider at Dean's expression now. He would have definitely shared a look with his brother Sam before turning back to stare at her in surprise. He would have made some quip about her using some college level words that would have had Sam rolling his eyes so hard Krissy would have worried about them rolling right out of the socket.

God, she missed them. Not that she'd ever admit it out loud, but she did.

Krissy entered the surprisingly clean apartment. It looked like it'd been recently dusted but that's impossible. No one living had been in or around the apartment. So, who has been cleaning the place?

Not good.

Instincts told her to leave right the fuck now but she caught sight of the master bedroom door and it called to her like a siren song. She found herself moving towards the bedroom without conscious thought. She had to go inside. Someone's waiting for her in there.

The door opened on its own and a bright white light emanated from the heart of the room. Krissy walked towards it, allowing herself to be drawn in. The light wrapped itself around Krissy, all warm and comforting, and a blonde woman appeared.

"Hello, Krissy," the woman greeted with a warm smile. "My name's Jo. Take my hand and come with me." Jo held her hand out for Krissy to take. "I need your help with something."

Krissy hesitated.

"It has to deal with Dean," Jo said, pulling out her trump card.

Krissy took Jo's hand without hesitation. Anything for Dean.

 **BW**

 _Ben felt the light shift and it woke him up. He still couldn't see anything but the warmth of the light kept him from freaking out. The lady said his dad is waiting for him but just not yet._

 _"Ben," Jo crooned in a soft voice, "I need you to wake up, sweetie."_

 _Ben groaned and tried to snuggle back into the soft downy sheets he's been sleeping in. He shook his head and tried to go back to sleep._

 _"Wake up, Little Winchester," Jo urged with a fond grin. He's just like his dad. "It's about your dad." That got Ben moving to sit up._

 _"Is my dad here?" asked Ben, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Can I go home yet?"_

 _Jo shook her head. "No, sweetie. He's not here yet. It's still not time, but I have someone I need you to go with. I'm starting to attract the attention of someone dangerous._ _The person I'm sending you with, she'll keep you safe for me. You're dad knows her and trusts her."_

 _"No!" Ben shouted. "You said my dad will come and get me! You promised! I want my daddy!"_

 _Jo felt her heart break for Ben. "I'm so sorry, sweetie, but I can't keep you here anymore. Some - Someone noticed that I'm keeping you here. If I don't get you out of here this instant,_ She'll _come and take you away."_

 _Ben didn't care. He wanted his dad._

 _"I want to go back to sleep," Ben cried plaintively._

 _"I'm so sorry, Ben," Jo whispered brokenly. She grabbed Ben's hand and pulled him hard to her and she used her other hand to grab Krissy Chamber's hand to link them together. Jo pressed one last kiss into Ben's hair and sent them both back to the apartment she commandeered as a safe place for the two teens._

 _"You owe me big time, Dean Winchester. I'm risking my eternity of peace with mom and Ash for you. You better thank me when we finally meet again, you jackass."_

 **BW**

Ben woke up in a room that wasn't his, and he found a brunette sleeping next to him. According to his last memory, if there had been a girl sleeping next to him, she would have been blonde, and she would have punched him for watching her sleep.

Where is he?

Carefully, Ben got out of bed, he didn't want to wake up the brunette until he absolutely had to. She might be dangerous.

It's light out. So, day, obviously. He should look out the window to figure out where he's at because he has a feeling he's not in North Dakota anymore. The air feels different. Like it's . . . not humid but it has the taste of salt. So, definitely not North Dakota.

 _Just look out the window, dumbass_.

Yeah, he should do that. The voice sounded suspiciously a lot like Claire.

Ben inched his way to the drawn blinds. His fingers shook so bad he had a hard time getting a grip on the white string to pull the blinds open. This is ridiculous. It's just a window. There's nothing to be afraid of a window for, well, unless you're Alice and window is a cleverly disguised Looking Glass, then he'd certainly have something to worry about; like losing his head level worry.

Gathering what courage he could find, Ben pulled as hard as he could on the cord and the blinds were ripped off from the force.

Ben blinked in disbelief at what he found on the other side of the window. That is - That . . . he can't be in Seattle. How the hell did he get all the way to Seattle? The last thing he remembers is a bright light, warmth, and a voice he couldn't help but trust.

"What the fu-?" Ben cut himself off.

His voice! He can speak now. How long was he in that light? With what's her name? God, her name is on the tip of his tongue. Beautiful blonde who seemed to know him.

She said she knew his dad.

That's why he followed her.

"Jo," Ben said aloud, the name finally coming to him.

Movement from the bedroom had Ben turning around and placing the rather industrial looking coffee table between them, just in case. The brunette girl stumbled into the living with a befuddled look. She stopped when she saw Ben standing on the other side of the room.

Her face changed into something fierce and dangerous. Ben knew without a doubt she could kill him without breaking a sweat.

"Who are you?" she demanded. Her hand went behind and she pulled out a pretty scary looking knife. Ben is so out of his league here, it'd be laughable if he wasn't so terrified he'd get stabbed for laughing.

"My - My name is . . . is, uh, Ben. My name is Ben. Ben W-Br-aeden. Ben Braeden," Ben stuttered out. "I have no idea how I got here."

The brunette glared at him suspiciously but she didn't shoot forward to kill him with her scary knife, so, Ben called that a win.

"Ben what?" Krissy asked again. He almost said something else.

"Braeden," Ben repeated. "That's my last name."

"Are you sure?" Krissy questioned. "You almost said something else. What were you going to say?"

Ben shrugged. "I don't remember."

Krissy frowned in annoyance. She twirled the knife threateningly, hoping to scare the kid into speaking the truth.

"I swear I don't remember!" Ben all but screeched. "I have a really shitty memory concerning my dad. I go by my mom's maiden name."

Okay, Krissy believes him now. The amount of fear in his voice convinced her he's telling the truth.

"Come out from beneath the light," Krissy ordered. She can't really see his face. The way he holds himself is familiar but she just can't place why, and when Ben Braeden moved out of the light, it took everything in her to keep her grip on her knife.

He looks like a carbon copy of Dean Winchester, except Ben had brown eyes where Dean had green.

The woman, Jo, she said she needed help with something concerning Dean, and now she knows what. Dean never spoke about having a son, but then again, if she had a kid, she'd want to keep them a secret too. Too many monsters and demons out there that would love to use a kid as leverage, and Dean has the biggest and baddest enemies out there. If they found out about Ben, there's nothing Dean wouldn't do to protect his son.

"Okay, okay," Krissy murmured to herself. "Name's Krissy, nice to meet you, baby Winchester. I think we need to have a nice long talk, yeah?"

Ben let out a groan. Great, someone else to call him baby Wi-whatever. Dammit! Just let him friggin' remember his dad's last name!

"Fine, but let's order pizza. I'm freaking hungry."

Krissy laughed. "You're paying."

"Of course I am," Ben muttered despairingly. "But first, I need to call a certain sheriff."

Krissy tilted her head. "What sheriff?"

"Sheriff Jody Mills," Ben relied distractedly. He can't seem to find his phone. He knew he had it on him when Jo took him. "Do you have your phone?"

After a thorough search of her persons, Krissy came up empty on the phone she _knew_ she had when she entered the not-so-haunted apartment.

"It seems I do not have my phone," Krissy told the baby Winchester. She found herself staring at Ben in curiosity. He looked so much his dad it was spooky. She can even see a little bit of Sam in him as well, it's in the way he holds himself. Strong yet sympathetic, that's the little bit of Sam she sees in Ben, but he has that patented Winchester confidence about him. The one that even though they're in over their head, they don't show it.

Ben is showing that right now. She can see just how terrified and lost he is but he's keeping it down, just like his dad and uncle.

It's a little bizarre.

"Maybe the landline'll work," Krissy suggested with a nod toward the _corded_ phone. Jesus. Talk about old. She bets the original owners were hipsters or something. Someone who likes old school crap like corded-freaking-phones. At least it's not the spinney kind of phone, the kind her great-grandmother had in her ancient house way back when. God, she can't even remember the visit that well.

Ben went over to inspect the old ass phone. "At least it's not a rotary phone," he said wryly.

"A what?"

"A rotary phone," Ben repeated. At Krissy', confused look, he explained, "One of those phones with the circular dial with holes in it. You have to put your finger in one of the holes of the number desired and spin it to the top, and so on and so forth until you've dialed your number."

 _Oh._ "Oh, that's what those are called. How'd you know that?"

Ben shrugged. "My mom liked old things. I had to use one of those phones when I was younger for about three months."

"Huh."

"Yeah."

With a little trepidation, Ben picked up the corded phone and held it to his ear to see if it had a dial tone. He's pleasantly surprised to hear one. Yay for some good news.

Ben patiently dialed the Sheriff's number and waited for her to pick up but a loud, shrill noise emanated from the phone that had Ben dropping it and holding his ear in pain. Even Krissy clamped her hands over her ears to block out the sound. Fumbling, Ben grabbed the receiver and slammed it back down on the hook and quieted the noise.

"Oh, thank god," Ben muttered. He massaged his poor ear. "What the hell was that?"

"As if I'd know," Krissy snapped.

Ben held his hands up in surrender. "Geez, I know. It was rhetorical."

Now Krissy felt foolish. She can't be taking her temper out on Dean's kid. Dear god, Dean had a _kid_. It still boggles the mind. She doesn't think she'll ever get used to the idea.

"Sorry. I'm still freaked out about this whole thing," she said, gesturing to the room in general. Ben nodded in agreement. "So, I'm thinking it wasn't coincidental that noise sounded just as you called your sheriff person."

"Yeah, I'm thinking so, too," Ben sighed. This is just friggin' great. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "You wouldn't happen to have an adult with you, would you?"

Krissy shook her head.

"Of course not because that is my luck lately." Ben grabbed the old phone and threw it across the room. Plaster flew everywhere both from the phone line being torn from the wall and the phone crashing into another wall.

Krissy didn't even flinch nor did she judge him. She had the urge to do the same thing. Sometimes violence is the best medicine when confronted with just how shitty and messed up the world is, and at how unfair things seem to be. And since Ben is a Winchester, he has the worse end of the stick in this kind of things.

"My dad was killed," Krissy admitted softly, "and I was lost for a while but your dad helped me figure out some things. I owe him a debt, and it seems that debt is you."

Ben slumped against the white quartz breakfast bar.

"I think we should stay here for a day or so until we figure things out before leaving," Krissy suggested but in all actuality ordered. Ben nodded. "And since you tore out the phone, we now have to walk to a pizza place and order there and wait for it."

Nothing from Ben.

"Let's go." She grabbed Ben by the arm and made him follow her.

They ordered a large supreme and got a six-pack of Pepsi. Ben shelled out the money without complaint, his brow furrowed kind of adorably in thought. Their food will take about twenty minutes but they could wait by the window with those little cafe style tables and tiny chairs that look like they're meant for a child's tea party.

Krissy tentatively sat down on the teeny tiny chairs while Ben just dropped down with his full weight down on them without care. He eyed the phone on the counter. Krissy kicked him to get his attention and shook her head. Who knows what'll happen if he tries to call his sheriff again.

She has a theory but she doesn't think Ben is ready to hear it just yet.

"Do you know this Jo woman?" Krissy asked hesitantly. Ben's muteness is a little off-putting. Ben shook his head. "What about the name? Does _that_ sound familiar at least?" Ben shook his head again. "Dammit," she muttered to herself.

"Look her up," Ben mumbled.

"On what? No phones remember?" Krissy shook her head at him in mock despair.

"Then steal one," Ben whispered.

Smart for keeping his voice low, Krissy thought with an approving grin.

"And what makes you think I know how to lift a phone?" Krissy asked with a curious frown. "Why can't _you_ do it?"

Ben leaned in close. "Because I don't know _how_. The Sheriff hadn't taught me that yet. Or ever. And don't act like you know how to either. I have a feeling _all_ hunters know how to lift, grift and pick locks. I bet my dad and uncle does as well." Krissy shrugged at him nonchalantly. "Just steal us a phone to use for a little bit and then we'll drop the phone off at the local PD."

"Why can't we just keep it?" Krissy all but whined. "We need a phone, Baby Winchester."

Krissy really needs to stop saying his dad's last name because every time she does, white noise fills his ears and it's really annoying. All he hears is her calling him 'baby' and that is weird for him. He barely knows her. ...He doesn't know her at all, actually.

"Because," Ben said slowly, like he would to a child, "it's wrong. It's not our phone."

Krissy harrumphed at him. "You make look like your dad but you sure as hell don't act like him."

"Thanks," Ben shot back. "I think."

"Large supreme for a Ben Braenden?" the cashier called out.

Ben nodded towards the old couple dining on a veggie pizza while he got up to get their order. Krissy sidled over to the couple, pretending to look at the flyers decorating the far wall, she made idle chit chat with them when she got close enough to draw their attention away from the lift. Ben's a little surprised at how charming she is. Must be a hunter thing. Or it's an actual facet of her personality and she only pulls it out when she needs it. Or it's just him she acts different around.

He really just does not know.

Ben grabbed the pizza and bag that's holding their six-pack of pop off the counter and made his way towards Krissy, who extricated herself from the old couple and pulled Ben in for a kiss.

"Roll with it," she whispered into his ear, her breath sent shivers through his body as goosebumps erupted all over his body. "They think we're on a date. Just smile and give me another kiss."

Why not? It's her story to sell.

Ben smiled at her and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips. He turned and greeted the old couple who shooed them off with knowing smiles. Ben's blush was not faked, especially when Krissy grabbed the bag with the pop and laced their free hands together.

"Bye!" she said cheerfully and waved their linked hands at old couple waved back and chuckled at each other.

They kept their hands linked until they were almost at the apartment complex. Ben studiously looked anywhere but in Krissy's direction, but he can feel her amusement radiating off of her like a heat wave. He blushed again, earning an amused chuckle from the huntress. It sounded suspiciously like the kind of laugh Claire would make at him when she thought he acted stupidly.

Do all girls have this secret power of making men feel like idiots or is it just him? Is he the only one acting like an idiot with Claire and Krissy? Does the other men in their life act like him or is he just special?

He has the horrible feeling it's the latter.

Krissy used the stolen phone to look up any dead blonde girls in the past decade, just to be safe. Mainly because neither of them know when she died or how she knew Ben's dad.

The huntress scrolled through the phone looking for their ghost.

"This is going to take a while, isn't it?" Ben asked rhetorically.

Krissy shot him a grin but otherwise kept scrolling. Their ghost was out there somewhere. They just had to find the right place.

"You try looking under 'Death by suspicious circumstances,'" Ben suggested but quieted under the heat of Krissy's glare, and she shot back, "I _am_ , genius. Do you have any idea just how many bizarre deaths there in the continental U.S.?"

Ben shook his head.

"A shit load." Krissy pinched the bridge of her nose to stave off the oncoming migraine. "Any ideas how when your father traveled with an attractive blonde?"

Ben shook his head. "No clue."

"How do you not know?"

"The Sheriff and Claire think it's a spell or some other form of magick."

"Wait. What?" Krissy looked up from the phone to stare at him. "What?" she repeated.

"I thought . . . Jo would have told you about me," Ben said slowly.

"Well, she didn't," Krissy snapped. "Start talking."

Ben stared at the pizza and Pepsi longingly. Taking a deep breath, hoping to get it done as soon as possible so he could friggin' eat already, Ben launched into his tale of woe and memory loss. He told her how he could never remember his dad's or his uncle's name. As soon as he'd hear their names, or anything related to them, he'd forget it within the next millisecond. Sometimes he never even noticed the memory reset.

He tells her of how he's slowly starting to remember and retain some things of his dad, of their life together because he's pretty sure at one point his dad lived with him and his mom. He's not sure though. But it would solve the year of - wrong? weird? - not quite right memories. He told her of how he's slowly, slowly starting to remember his dad and of their time together.

Krissy stopped looking for Jo and stared at Ben, gobsmacked. The poor guy. Sometimes she wished she could forget her dad but seeing Ben looking lost and seeing the yearning on his face, no, she'd rather have her memories of her dad than have nothing at all.

"So, you think this magick on your memory is starting to lose its power or ...?" Krissy trailed off to let Ben fill in the blank.

"I don't know," Ben admitted softly, "but I have this really vague memories and sometimes I _know_ I dream about him. Its just . . . when I wake up, they're gone. Leaving behind only the emotions I felt in the dream. I had a nightmare about my dad. It was so bad I screamed and screamed for so long and so loudly, I shredded my vocal chords. Wherever I was, it was long enough for them to heal. When Jo - When she took me, my vocal chords were still healing. I wasn't talking yet. I have no idea how long I've been gone or where I've been."

Ben flopped down on the surprisingly comfy couch in exhaustion.

"And I'm freaking hungry! Can I eat yet?" he asked in a pissy tone. Other than calling him on it, Krissy nodded permission, not that Ben really needed it but she understood he was done talking and wanted to move on from the topic.

"I have some books to look through but it sounds like it's angel related," Krissy told him. "I don't know much about angels, other than one of them seems to follow your dad around like a lovestruck puppy."

An idea hit Krissy but she kept it too herself. She doesn't think Ben would react kindly to finding out his dad's pet angel might be the one who put the memory whammy on him.

That's an explosion she'd rather not be on the receiving end of.

The Sheriff might be more suited to receive his wrath than her. Sheriff who, though?

Krissy ran through the list of people Sam and Dean mentioned in passing. She's coming up with nada. She can't recall whether or not the brothers have ever mentioned a cop as a friend and it's bugging her. Whoever this person is must be pretty close to them for Dean to entrust his _son_ to her to watch over.

(Seriously. Dean has a friggin' son! She's not getting over that anytime soon.)

"What's the angel's name?" Ben asked curiously. "I wanna see if I can remember that name at least."

That shouldn't hurt anything.

"His name's Castiel."

Ben frowned as he rolled the name around his head, waiting to see if the name would flit away or fade or something. He flapped a hand at Krissy to ask the name again, but she only shot him a funny look and gestured back at him then shrugged her shoulders at him. Ben flapped his hand a little more aggressively. Krissy returned the gesture just as aggressively.

"What are you doing, you weirdo?" Krissy demanded, sick of their bizarre game of charades.

Ben grunted in frustration. "Ask me the angel's name."

Krissy stared at him oddly but asked anyways. "What's your dad's angel's name?"

"Castiel." The name came easily. "Well, that's just not fair."

Krissy giggled at his pouting face.

"I can remember the stupid angel's name but not my _dad's_?!" Ben turned around and punched a wall in frustration. "Why him? Why his name?"

The huntress gave an insouciant shrug at the wannabe hunter.

"So," Krissy started, "want me to teach you how to properly hunt until we figure out what to do?"

Ben stared at the hole he put in the wall and gave a 'why not' shrug and nodded his head.

"Sounds good to me."

Krissy clapped her hands together and gave him an evil smile. "Excellent! I get to train a Winchester in the art of hunting. This is going to be so. Much. Fun."

The ants crawling down his spine has absolutely nothing to do with the way Krissy is smiling at him. Nope. No siree.

Ah, shit. He's so screwed.

* * *

 **Krissy's finally here! Yay!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Another chapter I thought I uploaded. Man, I really got to check to see if I actually did upload them, yeah? Sorry!**

* * *

 _Where is Ben?_ It's the first thought Jody has when she wakes up and the last thought she has when going to bed.

Jody is starting to lose hope in finding him. There has been no sighting of young Winchester anywhere in three months. Ben's senior year started two weeks ago, and she has no idea where to find him. She's tried calling Dean again but the number doesn't even work. She has a hunch their numbers not working has something to do with the disturbance they felt all those months ago.

Whatever it is, it has those boys tied up real good if they haven't texted her their new number.

They _always_ text her their new number, just in case she might need them. What if the Big Bad this time is a little too big? What if this is the one that beats them for good?

What is she going to tell Ben? If she found him again. No. _When_ she found him again.

Claire stopped looking for Ben after the second month. She's crueler and has a shorter temper. She's blown up with Alex more times than she can count, and she's been getting into fights with every person who dares to talk to her. Her deputies no longer book her, they just put her in a cell until they think she's earned her lesson and call Jody to come get her. Though, most of the time, Jody already knows, and she leaves Claire in there until she's done with her shift.

Alex has become her golden child. She stays out of trouble and focuses on school and her new boyfriend. Claire doesn't seem to like him though.

Jody enrolled Claire in college after she forced the blonde to get her GED to take her mind off their missing hunter-in-training. It only worked so much. Claire aced her GED test and she impressed the hell out of admission's officer. Claire got in with a decent scholarship but is losing interest in school.

Alex stays away from the house for as long as she can. Jody doesn't blame her. None of them like being home that much.

Maria and Logan Marks still won't talk to her, and their restraining order is still in effect. Not that it matters. Jody can't even look at them without guilt eating her up let alone be in a room with them. She lost their foster child, she wouldn't forgive them if they took Alex on a trip and lost her for three months and counting.

Dean, when he finally gets back in touch, is going to hate her forever.

Jody even used a Ouji board to try and find Ben. The planchette moved around and around, oscillating between "O" and "J" and then it'd veer off to an "A", "H", "R" before going back to "J", and doing the whole set again. She tried every variation of the letters and came up with "JORAH" and that doesn't make any sense, unless the ghost is a _Game of Thrones_ fan then Jorah Mormont has Ben somewhere in Meereen.

Or she has a dyslexic ghost.

Is it a demon? Angel? A pissed off monster seeking revenge against Dean?

Why does Ben have to look so damn much like Dean?

It's like waving a red flag at a bull with every single monster, demon and angel out there that has a grudge against the hunter. And Sam. And Castiel. Oh, boy. She should have just kept Ben close to her instead of actually letting him and Claire go hunting.

"Where are you, Ben?" Jody asked out loud. The empty house remained silent, not having an answer for her. Not even the planchette moved. She really should put the Ouji board away. The last thing Jody needs is a ghost or conniving demon attaching itself to her and the girls. She'll have the girls help her with it tonight since all three of them agreed to use the board to find Ben. She knows the rules. There's tons of movies and stories about the spirit board to inform her of the subject.

"Please come home, Ben. Please."

 **BW**

Claire slammed the door shut behind her, grinning when she heard her fellow school mates crash into it, and mutter obscenities at her. Not to her face, of course, because she just slammed the door on them. That, and she may have put the fear of God in them.

She kept moving.

Her next class is clear across campus and Jody had made it clear that if she misses anymore classes, she's hiding all of Ben's lore books on her. She'd already taken away the book Dean had given her before sending her to Jody to live and learn how to be a hunter. Jody is seconds away from taking away her car privilages, too.

Though, Claire can't really blame Jody for doing such drastic measures. She's been miserable with guilt and misplaced anger. Alex is _this_ close to having a knock-down-drag out fight with her, and in all honesty, Claire's not sure she would come out on top. Alex is a dirty fighter.

Intro to Psych is her least favorite subject so far and it's only been a few weeks. Actual, it's tied with College Writing 101. Every paper she turned in so far came back redder than Santa Clause's suit.

Alex's delight in her horrendous writing skills makes Claire willing to risk a potentially wicked beatdown from the little princess.

Ben would have laughed at her too, but he would have helped her once he stopped laughing his ass off at her. He would have been patient and he wouldn't let her go anywhere until she paper no longer looked like a sacrificial alter, though the idea is starting to sound more and more like a good one. Maybe there is a god out there that'll take pity on her and help her with her writing, and maybe they'd find Ben as well.

Claire shoulder checked a senior football player hard enough to send him sprawling on the recently mowed grass because he was blocking her way. He jumped up to his feet and towered over her, glaring hotly. Without missing a beat, Claire pulled him in for a kiss.

When she pulled away, the guy had a gobsmacked expression on the face while his teammates' jaws were on threatening to fall off their faces.

Claire walked away with a little sway in her hips. Boys, so easy to distract. She wished she was just as easy to distract.

 **BW**

Krissy wanted to slam her head against the dilapidated wall. Ben is kind of hopeless with actual, physical hunting, but when it comes to research, he's better at it than she is, and she has years of experience on her side. This must be how Dean felt with Sam. There's nothing worse than having someone you know you have more experience with a subject, and have that person do better than you. It's kind of insulting and a wicked ego check.

She always thought she was good at research but Ben has been disproving that notion left and right with ease. She may have took her anger out on him by having the Baby Winchester do all the heavy lifting.

Most cases, that means digging up graves. He has become quite ripped in the past month. Nice arms. Almost like his dad's or his uncle's.

No! Don't go there, Krissy, she chastised herself. That is just . . . _gross_. Dean is like a - a, uh - Dean is . . . Dean Winchester is like a father or a big brother or something familial to her. Thinking of Ben that way is kind of ick. Isn't it? It is. Right? Right.

She's getting a headache. A really bad one.

"Ben!" she yelled, exacerbating the headache. "Get your ass up! We need to hit McGrath's place before he comes back tomorrow."

She heard Ben moving around upstairs, telling her he's awake and making his way down to her. The place they're currently using as a hobbit hole had been condemned, which meant for them having a relatively safe place to squat in without fear of being caught by either the police or social services.

Since they're both underage, they'd be put in foster care, Krissy does not like foster care, and Ben would be taken out of the Marks' custody and put in either a different foster home or an orphanage. None of those options are appealing to them. Especially Ben. He really misses his foster parents; Logan and Maria.

They had tried calling Ben's foster parents but that high-pitched sound blotted out the call like it did with Ben's sheriff. So they've taken it as this Jo person is keeping them from getting in touch with Ben's life in North Dakota for some goddamn reason.

Krissy sees it as Jo reminding her of her promise to watch over Ben. Well, not exactly those words but before Jo took her phone and sucked her into that bright light, she told him she had a chance to help out Dean Winchester, and Krissy took it as taking care of Ben. A friggin' wannabe hunter. Of course the spawn of Dean Winchester would want to be a hunter. It seems to run in that family.

Ben came thundering down the stairs like a herd of elephants, hopping the last three steps and landing with a grace that he seems to have inherited from his mother because she's seen Dean do something similar like that, and he was not at all graceful like Ben.

"What's so funny?" he asked her.

Krissy wiped the amused smile off her face.

"What's the angel's name?"

"Castiel," Ben replied without hesitation.

She's been asking that question randomly to see if he'd remember and he always did. She'd say Dean's name and ask Ben his dad's name immediately after, and he'd come up blank. They've been checking to see if the spell or whatever magick that's on Ben has faded more, but nope. Nothing. It's starting to frustrate Ben the longer they do this.

"So, what's so funny?" Ben asked again. Krissy frowned. Of course that wouldn't deter him. "Come on, Krissy. I could use a laugh."

Krissy let out an explosive sigh. Lately, Ben's been getting touchy about his dad, and she's unsure telling him why she was smiling, because he could either smile bashfully (adorably) or he'd frown and walk away.

"Krissy?" Ben walked over and gently nudged her. "You okay?"

Why does he have to be so damn sweet? He must get that from his uncle. Dean's a little more gruff with this type of thing.

"I'm good." She shot him a smile that had Ben staring at her intently.

"Okay, then," Ben said, believing her for now. "Now, what was so funny?"

 _Here goes nothing_. "I was thinking of your dad."

Since Krissy was watching Ben with just as intensity he gave her, she saw the flicker of surprise cross his face before he wiped it into a mask of polite curiosity.

"How so?"

"That move of you hopping down the stairs, I've seen you dad do something similar. Except when he did it, he wasn't as graceful," Krissy explained. She bit her lip and waited for Ben's reaction.

Ben grinned at her, taking another route that took her by surprise.

"You think I'm graceful, huh?" he asked with a playful leer. Krissy let out a bark of laughter and shoved him, making Ben chuckle.

Krissy turned away to hide her suddenly hot face. Her ears burned and her neck grew warm, and she knew the smile she's sporting on her face is goofy as fuck. It'd give her away if Ben saw. It may be kind of ick, but she cannot deny Ben is a good looking guy.

He looks like his dad, save for his eyes - she thinks they must be like his mom's or he's one of those genetice freaks who's eye color is different than his parents - with his uncle's disposition, and his mother's grace. With him looking like an almost carbon copy of his dad with his mom's eyes, he's like the hunter version of Harry Potter.

A giggle burst out of her before she could stop it, earning Ben's attention once more. She shook her head at him and got to packing up gear for their job tonight.

It's not a hunting job, oh no, they're robbing this real asshole who likes to flaunt his money to those less fortunate than him. The douchebag would walk around homeless congregations like bridges and parks, and drop measly dollar bills and change on the ground while he and his other rich douchebag friends sipped their iced coffees and lattes, watching them fight over the money. The winner would get a single five dollar bill.

Ben and Krissy saw them do this when they had no choice but to sleep in the park their first night in Colorado Springs. Ben had to hold her back because she was seconds away from tearing the guy's head off. Not that Ben didn't feel a similar wrath burning inside of him.

It was Krissy's idea to steal from him. It's the whole reason they're still in town after taking out a vampire nest. A small one made up of three, but still, a _nest_.

Ben had been particularly proud of himself for that one.

Krissy had been proud of him too. He took out a vamp all on his own, not needing her to save him. He even helped distract the last vamp so Krissy could dispatch it. She wonders if she should tell Ben his dad once took out an entire nest of over two dozen vamps all on his own. Granted, he'd been bitten at the time but still, that's impressive.

What's even more impressive is that Dean didn't give into the bloodlust. He got cured, obviously. He killed the vampire that bit him and took his blood. Only a fledgling that hadn't tasted human blood could be turned back to human.

She watched Ben grab the hospital gloves the pilfered from a free health clinic and stuff them in his backpack they stole from a local high school. Nah, she won't tell him that particular story yet.

They changed into some clothes they bought at a Good Will back in Seattle, all black, of course.

"Ready?" Krissy asked. Ben nodded. "Let's go then. We only have a few hours before the maid shows up to start getting the house ready for that asshole."

"But he's coming home tomorrow night. Why is she starting so damn early in the morning?" Ben whined.

Krissy grinned. "I dunno. Maybe the dude's a dick and he likes to make his help suffer by making them clean his house at asscrack in the morning just because he can. Let's face it, the dude has enough money to do such a dickheaded rich thing."

"Yeah, I guess," Ben agreed slowly. They have a short time window here, and there is a lot of things that can go wrong.

"Ready?"

Ben let out an explosive sigh. "I guess."

"Then let's go!" She clapped Ben on the shoulder, sliding her hand down his arm before encircling her hand around his wrist and tugged him along. Warmth blossomed on her ears and neck, making Krissy glad her equally warm face his hidden in the thankfully moonless night.

They rode the late night bus to their destination, the upper side of Colorado Springs, and the bus stop was five miles away. Of course the wouldn't have a bus stop near the richest area in town. Too much riff raff and rabblerousers around, it could lead to things being stolen, which, fair, because two rabblerousers are going to steal some very valuable things.

The guy's security was a joke, the dude relied on the gated community to keep his stuff safe. Ben and Krissy were able to pick the lock and disable the alarm system. Who makes the security code 00000? Dumbasses, that's who.

Ben grabbed everything that looked valuable while Krissy concerned herself with the _seven_ safes she found in the hacked floor plans they stole from the dude's hilariously labeled "secure" internet system. The damn password was the dumbass's name: James McGrath. The router name: Whostheman. Ben had double facepalmed at that while Krissy giggled like a mad woman.

Krissy opened the first safe with ease, a tumbler lock that she could break blindfolded. She found documents that looked promising and stuffed them in her bag to sort through later. Rich people like him always have something hinky in their past that could damage them today.

The second safe had more documents with thick paper. Feels like they could be important. Into the backpack they go.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth safes revealed thumbdrives, more documents (what does this guy do for a living?), and some DVDs that are giving her some trepidation. Rich douchebag like him, it could be anything on those DVDs, and more than likely they'll give her nightmares and she'd never feel clean again.

The final safe, located directly under his California King bed, which was a bitch to move, even with Ben's help, revealed some actual money and jewels. She found honest to god _rubies_ and _emeralds_ and _diamonds_. She felt like she was in an Indiana Jones movie or something.

Krissy shoved everything into her backpack and went to go meet up with Ben in the kitchen, where she found him making sandwiches. He offered her one of them with a smile.

Butterflies erupted in her stomach at the sight and she took the sandwich, immediately taking a bite to stop the answering smile on her face. It's pretty good. She let a groan at the taste and scarfed the rest of it down. Ben held out some fancy ass pop for her to drink. It tasted delicious. Very creamy. And bubbly. Is that a thing? Whatever. It's good.

"You put everything back to their original place?" she asked. Ben nodded, mouth full of his own sandwich. "Nothing to suggest we were here?" Ben shook his head. "Let's head out. Cracking those safes took longer than I thought."

Ben shoved the rest of his sandwich in his mouth and followed Krissy out the door, after she re-armed the security system and locked the door behind them. They got away without incident.

Once they were on the bus, Ben and Krissy immediately snuggled up to each other and started giggling and laughing to play up the facade of happy in love young couple. It had their bus driver smile at them when Ben caught his eye. Krissy giggled again and snuggled into his side, reveling slightly in having his arm around her, pulling her in closer.

A sense of safety surrounded her while she was tucked under his arm. She hadn't felt like this in a long, long time. Without thinking, Krissy tightened her grip on Ben's waist and basked in his warmth for the rest of the ride.

She must have dozed off because Ben gently shook her awake, grabbed her hand and grabbed her bag with his free hand. He led the way to their hideout, holding the window pane open for her to slip through, tossing the bags in after her, and hopped inside after checking to see if the coast was clear and that no one saw them go inside the house.

"Bed," Ben ordered when she made to grab her bag. Krissy whined at him but did as told.

She kicked off her shoes, slipped off her sweater and pants, forgetting Ben followed her, and didn't hear the sharp intake of breath behind her. She flopped down on the nest of stolen blankets, letting out a jaw-popping yawn as she burrowed into the blankets. She felt something heavy land on top of her, she poked her head out to see that Ben had deposited some of his blankets on top of her and she also saw that he had folded her clothes and laid them next to her.

More warmth pooled in her stomach and chest at the sight.

 _He's very sweet,_ was the last thought she had before sleep consumed her.

 **BW**

Ben stayed up through the night, sifting through all the papers that Krissy had found in the seven safes. They're mostly legal documents, a few love letters that Ben hopes are from legal age people, and some printed emails that appeared to be blackmail material. Great. Man of the Year, James McGrath is.

They can't check the thumb drives yet. No computer. They'll have to use the computers in the public library to see what's on them.

Krissy found the good stuff. Ben only bagged the small, shiny bobbles that could fit without making him feel like he's carrying a grown man on his back. He has no idea what those little baubles are worth, and they didn't want to get ripped off too much. They needed travel money.

It's really hard to be teenage hunters. Krissy is still teaching him how to grift, pick pocket, and to hustle at pool and darts. He's surprisingly good at hustling pool. The others? Not so much.

They managed to steal some phones from a pawn shop while the owner was distracted by a large sale. Krissy and Ben waited for hours at a Walmart, waiting for someone to buy the phone card they needed for minutes, and the huntress pick pocketed the cards. With their phones activated, they split up to hustle some food. Krissy, of course, was the main provider but Ben managed to wheedle some day old bread from a baker for free.

Good to know there are still some decent people out there.

He should work on his letter he's composing for the Sheriff and Claire. Alex, too. He thinks he can at least send that, to let them know he's okay and no longer held hostage by a ghost.

Krissy thinks he's stupid for still trying to get in contact with the Sheriff but Ben has to at least try. The Sheriff took care of him, taught him, and most importantly, she was his tie to his dad. The only person Ben knew who didn't hate his dad or think him a monster like Claire and Alex.

Has his dad got in touch with the Sheriff yet? Is his dad now looking for him?

Hope and anger swelled within him. The anger's new. This past month, it's been like every mention of his father is amixed of happiness and an ache of betrayal. It's new and he doesn't like it.

Before, he used to get so damn happy, and he used to defend his dad's actions for taking his memory away but now - now Ben is having a hard time doing that. But the only thing that hasn't been shaken is his belief that his dad is a hero. That will never change. It's just . . . Ben's so tired of missing him. Of missing his memories. He can't even remember his uncle. They're all he has left in this world and he can't even picture their faces.

The Sheriff, Claire, Alex and Krissy, they know his dad. They have memories of his dad. They _know_ him, and it's just. Not. _**Fair**_ **.**

"Castiel," Ben whispered spitefully. He can remember that stupid ass angel's name but not his dad's. Why? Why the angel? Why only his name? "Castiel, you son of a bitch, why can I only remember your name and not my dad's? Riddle me that, angel boy."

Angels can hear you when you say their name, right?

His mom wasn't particularly religious and he has a feeling his dad wasn't either, so his knowledge of angels is pretty much nil. He hasn't worked up the courage to ask Krissy about that yet.

Aaaaand the angel hasn't turned up yet. Apparently, angels can't hear you call for them. Damn.

"Ben," Krissy called sleepily, "wuz'rong."

Ben shook his head to clear it. "Nothing. Talking to myself."

"mkay," came the slurred reply.

He waited a few minutes to let Krissy drift back to sleep, feeling guilty about waking her, they've had a long day. The sky is turning bright and birds are already singing the song of their people at an annoyingly loud pitch. His eyes burned from a lack of sleep but ever since his nightmare that had him shredding his vocal chords, and his time with Jo, he's honestly terrified to sleep now.

Nothing good seems to happen from going to sleep.

Nothing.

 **BW**

Claire woke up with a start, she could barely hear anything over the blood rushing through her ears. Her heart thudded painfully against her chest as the lingering nightmare slowly faded away. In her dream, she was looking for Ben at a barn like the one she found her mother in, and she found him tied up on the bed. As she ran forward to untie the boy, her mother and father were lying on either side of him.

Castiel appeared beside her and told her she can only save one.

"That's not fair!" she screamed at him but Castiel merely waited for her to choose. He was standing right in front of Ben with his head tilted consideringly at the baby Winchester.

"He looks just like his father," the angel commented in an odd voice. "Save him. He has more to offer to this world than your parents ever will."

Anger ran through her as she chose her father to save just to spite Castiel. The angel's face became sorrowful as he grabbed Jimmy off the cot and pulled them both away from the beds. Claire couldn't figure out why until flames started to erupt around her mother's and Ben's beds. Their agonized screams assaulted her ears and no matter how much she yelled she changed her mind and wanted to save Ben instead, Castiel would only stare at Ben's burning body.

"I told you to save him," he said, and vanished. Probably back to Dean, the only person that damned angel seems to care about.

Ben was the last one to die. Him screaming her name is what had her shooting up in bed.

With shaking hands, Claire tried to grab her phone. On her third try she managed to pick it up. She entered her pin to unlock it and her homescreen revealed a selfie of her and Ben, on one of their good days where they didn't fight. They were cheesing real hard at the camera, and if you look closely, you can see Jody and Alex laughing in the background.

She opened her gallery folder and looked through all the photos she had of Ben. There was a surprising amount of them.

If Claire was in an honest mood, which she currently is, she knows why there are a lot of pictures of Ben on her phone, it's because she considers him her best friend. A real friend, too. Not someone who used her for their own purposes. Ben's different, better.

She misses her friend.

Does he miss her too?


	11. Chapter 11

"I spy with my little eye something ... red," Ben said. They've been reduced to Eye Spy during their long ass bus ride to Portland, Oregon. They found a nest of sprites causing havoc there and scaring the crap out of the locals.

Krissy said it'd be better if they took care of the nest since they're still young enough to be considered kids, by the sprites standards, that is. If an adult hunter went after them, they could lose their mind from the sprites' magic. Their adults minds wouldn't be flexible enough to handle the mind altering magic, it would send them to either the loony bin or to an early, extremely painful death.

So far though, the sprites have been playing games with the population of Portland, and no one's been hurt yet. Krissy said they'll get sick of the scare tactics and move on to more dangerous games.

"Stop sign," Krissy muttered sleepily. They've been up since 4 A.M. to catch the connecting bus ride to Portland.

"Nope."

"Brake light."

"Nuh uh."

"Red book."

"Which one?"

That got Krissy to open her eyes and looked around blearily for a red book. She saw three and took a wild guess.

" _The Casual Vancy_."

"Nope."

" _Dark Matter._ "

"Dang iiiit."

Krissy giggled at Ben's pout, her stomach somersaulting when he laid his head on her shoulder and nuzzled it slightly. She dared to lay her head atop his.

"You cheated," Ben accused, booping her on the nose then laid his head back down on her shoulder. He hugged her right arm to his chest like a teddy bear, making her giggle and shove him off, earning a whine from him.

"I did not."

"Did too."

"Didn't."

"Did. Too."

"Did. Not."

"Did too times infinity."

"Did not infinity squared."

"Bah!"

Krissy laughed. "Did you drop all that stuff off at the local PD?"

"From McGrath's?" Ben asked, rolling with the non sequitur.

"Uh huh."

"Yep. Pawned the valuable stuff all around the city."

"Good. At least we won't have to scavenge for food for a while. Finding a place on the other hand, that'll be trickier." Krissy bit her lip. They might have to stay in a few shelters, which are dangerous, especially for Ben. Other males don't like interlopers on their territory, even one Ben's age. It'd be more dangerous for him than for her.

Ben lolled his head so he could look at her. "Can't we just rent a room?"

Krissy snorted. "Most motels won't rent out a room to a couple of teenagers. Besides, you can't use your ID."

"Oh yeah." Ben forgot about that.

They've tried using his ID but Ben couldn't find it at the time and they got kicked out of the restaurant. He found it in his wallet when they got back to the dilapidated house they've been squatting in. They took it as a sign that any use of his ID is out.

"Jo's starting to get really annoying," Ben complained. "You'd think she would have least given us a list of things we can and cannot do. Of what is and isn't allowed, you know?"

Krissy patted his head. "I know, but I think we can't go near your old life for now, and that includes using your ID, which sucks. What if we make you a fake one?"

"Think that'll work?" Ben asked dubiously.

"I think so," Krissy said slowly. "I think that as long as we don't use your real name, we should be good."

Ben scratched his cheek thoughtfully. "Sounds plausible. And if it doesn't work?"

"We'll make me a fake ID."

"All right," Ben agreed easily. He trusts her. She knows best.

"Okay," Krissy replied sleepily. She tugged Ben closer so she could snuggle and use Ben's shoulder as a pillow. "Now shush. Me sleepy."

Ben chuckled but obliged and gazed out the window, letting his mind drift aimlessly for the remaining 90 miles to Portland. He's excited about the food scene there. Ben's heard some good things about that place concerning those who love food. He's so happy they have a surplus of money, he's imagining all the different kinds of cuisines the city offers, and he's ignoring the rain that place seems attract. It's like rainforest or something of the like.

Temperate?

Ben sucked in geography. He passed by cheating off of Lucy Ingram's test back in junior high.

The miles sailed by. He wrapped his arm around Krissy 30 miles back so she was curled comfortably against him.

"Where you two lovebirds heading?" A twenty-something college student asked in curiosity. He grinned at Ben with a knowing smile.

Ben hid the grimace he desperately wanted to show and gave a shy smile instead. He pressed a kiss atop Krissy's head to think of a suitable lie that the guy will believe. He knows Krissy will go along with whatever he comes up with, even it's stupid. It's happened before and she still went along with it.

"Portland," Ben answered honestly. "We have a four-day weekend and we wanted to check out the food there. We heard it's pretty extensive."

The guy nodded eagerly. "Oh yeah. You'll love it," he enthused. "You'll have to try Monster Donuts!"

Ben couldn't help but grin at his enthusiasm.

"I'll do that," Ben promised. What's the harm in taking his advice? And though he's not a big donut fan, he'll try it out.

The guy lit up at Ben's words, happy he's taking his advice. They ended up chatting about movies for the remainder of the ride. College Dude seemed to favor Science Fiction while Ben argued that psychological thrillers were the way to go. It was a good-natured argument that lasted until Ben and Krissy were at their stop.

Ben waved goodbye to College Dude while Krissy looked up the nearest place to buy some supplies to make some home made firethrowers without people knowing they're making home made flamethrowers. That'd be one quick call to the local PD and social services.

It's the last thing Ben and Krissy need.

Whoever Jo is - and they're still looking into who she was in life - she might do something potentially harmful to innocent people in her attempt to take care Ben. That is the one thing Ben and Krissy agree on about Jo: She cares a lot about Ben and his safety. It's why she chose Krissy out of all of his dad's friends and allies, she must have thought that Krissy would be uniquely qualified to watch over Ben.

Or maybe she thought that whoever "She" is wouldn't think to look for Ben with another young hunter.

Ben is still unclear as to who this mysterious and scary "She" is. She must be pretty powerful for Jo, a ghost or something, to be afraid of. Ben'd really like to talk to Jo about that. Or better yet his dad.

"See if you can call my dad," Ben said suddenly, making Krissy jump.

She recovered and asked, "Why? Jo won't let us call him."

Ben shrugged. "Dunno."

Krissy gave him a weird look but decided not to ask. He's a Winchester, who knows what's going on in his mind, but at least he's actually talking about his dad now. There was a week or so where Ben refused to even acknowledge his dad.

"You find our supply store yet?"

"Yeah. Three blocks away, _and_ I found us a place to stay for the week. A family is going away on vacation. We can easily break in. They don't even have an alarm system!" Ben grinned at her astonishment. They didn't lock their doors in Sioux Falls. Ben's neighborhood was considered one of the safer ones.

"Nice!"

Krissy grinned at him. She gave him her duffle to carry because she can. Ben won't complain. He is so Sam's nephew.

There is no way in hell Dean would have taken someone else's bag without complaining about it first. Sam, on the other hand, would happily have taken someone else's bag. Well, as long as the other person did something worth Sam carrying the bag as reward.

Those Winchester boys, they're an odd bunch.

"Baby Winchester," Krissy said just to annoy Ben. He told her he only hears her call him 'Baby' and he finds it a little weird.

Ben glared at her and dropped her duffle on the ground. Krissy grinned at him, unrepentant. He'll still carry it.

"Let's go! We have some supplies to get and a place to break into!"

Ben laughed and grabbed her duffle and followed her like a puppy she's training him to be. Her dutiful guard dog. Not that Ben minds being considered her guard dog.

It's a fun role to play sometimes, when the occasion calls for it, and that is starting to become a habit. They've come across other hunters who think they can push Ben and Krissy around because of their age, but they back off real quick when Krissy tells them who his dad is. It's a little weird for Ben when hunters twice their age look scared around him. Like _he's_ the one who's dangerous and not his dad, who is nowhere near Ben.

"Castiel," Ben muttered to himself. Another habit that Ben has picked up. He likes to say the angel's name just in case any other names come back to him. No other names have returned to him but he's not going to stop trying. That and Ben likes to use the angel's name as a cuss word.

If he could remember his dad's name, he'd use that as a cuss word too.

Krissy heard him but kept quiet. She took lead, like always, and kept her promise to Jo keeping Ben safe.

She made Ben stay outside while she entered the store to buy their supplies. It'd look suspicious if Ben bought what they needed to take out some sprites. People don't think that girls, or women in general, would know how to make a flame thrower or anything else pyro related. Good thing too. Imagine explaining why they're making such a dangerous tool.

"Oh, we're making a flame thrower so we can kill some sprites that are terrorizing a neighborhood."

That'll go over well.

Ben stood under the awning in front of the store, sheltering him from the sporadic rain. He felt his mind drifting to Logan and Marie. He missed them. He missed Sioux Falls. Something he never thought he'd miss, but he does, deeply.

"C'mon, Jo, give me a sign or something," Ben prayed. "What am I supposed to be doing? Why can't I go home?" He let his head fall back against the damp wall. "I just want to go home." Tears threatened to spill and he swallowed thickly. "I just want to go home."

A sob worked its way up his throat and Ben swallowed to keep it at bay.

He's been doing so good lately. Putting on a brave face whenever he's around Krissy, which is a lot, is kind of exhausting, but on the rare occasion he's alone, Ben let's all the emotions he keeps from Krissy out, and he bawls his eyes out, wiping the evidence away when he's done. But . . . he loves Krissy. He loves being with her hunting and traveling all across the western coast. She's taught him more than the Sheriff and his teachers combined ever did.

"Hey," Krissy said softly, surprising him. He didn't hear her leave the store. "You okay?" She reached up and wiped away an errant tear. "What's wrong, Ben?"

Ben shook his head and took a shuddering breath. Now is not the time to lose it. Not in front of Krissy. She lost more than he ever did. He can't have her thinking he's a wimp and a big cry baby. It's different than having Claire think him a baby than having Krissy thinking it.

Plus, he can't be a convincing guard dog when he's blubbering over something that's dumb.

"I'm - I'm fine." He gave her a watery smile that didn't help his case. "I am. I really am. I'm just tired. _I_ didn't get to nap like you did," he teased.

Krissy frowned, unsure if she should push him on this. Ben held his breath while she had an internal debate about her next course of action. He's hoping she'll let it drop like she always does, but he knows sooner or later she'll put her foot down and make him talk about things he'd rather not think about; thoughts he'd rather ignore until his dying day.

"We're gonna talk about this later, you know this right?"

Ben nodded dolefully. Oh, he knows. He just hopes he's back home before he has to have this particular conversation.

"I know." _I know._

Ben watched in awe as Krissy Macgyvered two flame throwers for the both of them. He wishes he was that intuitive with weapons. So far his talents in hunting seem to be more of the research variety. Krissy said he's just like his uncle that way. So, he guesses that's a good thing, to have something in common with his uncle.

"Can we go eat?" Ben asked plaintively. His stomach growled as if to plead its case for them to go eat something. Krissy looked up and grinned at him, blushing when her own stomach growled in agreement.

Ben let out a bark of laughter.

"Where do we want to eat?"

"I don't care," Krissy replied, "as long as it's close by. I don't feel like -"

"-Getting on a smelly bus," Ben finished for her. Krissy nodded. "I think there's a place just a couple of blocks away."

Krissy clapped her hands together. "Sweet! Let's go."

Two exhausting blocks away, Ben and Krissy found a restaurant that boasted the best BBQ in the entire Northwest. They have enough money to splurge on something as delicious as BBQ, especially a half-slab of ribs and seasoned potato wedges with cornbread and coleslaw or beans. That sounds _so goooood_.

The waiter is a godsend. He seated them quickly and took their orders within two minutes of seating them.

Their waiter brought them their drinks; Ben a Dr Pepper, and Krissy a Coke. They raised their cups to one another and drained half their glasses. Ben smacked his lips and let out a loud, "Aaaaahhh," making Krissy chuckle at his antics.

Instead of talking to one another, Ben and Krissy people watched while they waited for their food to arrive. Ben had to look away when a couple looking remarkably like Logan and Maria, save for the guy being a blond instead of a brunet. The guy even laughed the same as Logan, that deep belly laugh that Maria likes to tease out of him because she loves the sound. The woman had Maria's dimples and even the same hairstyle; long, wavy brown hair that Logan liked to run his hands through.

Ben had often walked in on Logan carding his hand through Maria's hair while they watched TV, and though he'd deny it, Ben loved seeing them be mushy with each other. He misses them so much.

It feels like he lost another mom and dad.

"Who was Jo protecting me from?" Ben asked aloud. "I mean, why would she do so now? What's the big bad?"

"Who knows?" Krissy answered, taking her gaze off of another pair of teenagers on a date. Wait. Not that her and Ben are on a date but . . . nevermind. Whatever. She's not going down that rabbit hole again, at least not without having a good reason, like say, following a white rabbit in a waist coat with a pocket watch, and claiming it's late, very, very late for a very important date. _Then_ she'd willing go down that route without complaint. But only then.

"It could be anything. Literally. Your dad and uncle always manage to dig themselves in a deeper hole without trying. I mean, they took on the freaking Devil! And Heaven. Twice!" Ben smiled at Krissy's mix of awe and complete bewilderment at his dad and uncle's accomplishments. "For each other." She turned and locked eyes with Ben. "They are wickedly co-dependent."

"I know," Ben replied without thinking. He froze, eyes wide. Krissy stared at him in shock. "I know," he repeated slowly. "I know that." A smile grew. "I know that about my dad and uncle!" It's not a definitive memory but he knows at least that much about his dad that he recalled all by himself.

Ben grinned like an idiot, happy with that little bit of knowledge about his dad. He ignored the wave of anger that washed over him at only knowing that much about his dad.

The headache he gets over these mixed emotions are not fun.

He focused on being happy about knowing that about them. Less headaches that way.

The waiter appeared like magic by their side, their food just inches away from them, and it had Ben and Krissy reaching for their food like little kids, making grabby hands. The waiter let a soft chuckle at their antics but placed their food in front of them.

"Enjoy your meal," he told them and grabbed their glasses to go refill them.

Ben watched him leave. "He's a good waiter."

"Yep. Tip him real good when we leave," she told Ben.

"I will."

Without further ado, Ben and Krissy dug into their food with gusto. There was no talking between them as they enjoyed their meal.

The waiter came by every now and then to check on them, refilling their drinks without needing to be asked, something they appreciated because their mouths were too full to ask anyway. It would have been embarrassing trying to swallow and answer any questions without hurting themselves.

Ben scooped up some BBQ sauce with his finger and licked it clean. He winked at Krissy, who rolled her eyes fondly at him.

"Let's go, Baby Winchester. We have -"

"Shit to do, I know," Ben finished for her. He sighed and leaned over so he could access his back pocket for his wallet. He pulled out a couple bills, leaving a heafty tip for their waiter.

Ben nodded at the waiter when they left the restaurant.

The smell of petrichor washed over them once they exited the restaurant. Ben let out a smile, he always loved that smell. His mom hated it because it meant rain was coming, and she didn't like rain. Driving in it always made her nervous. He used to make fun of her for it.

"Where to, Miss Chambers?" Ben asked in a posh voice.

Krissy rolled her eyes and punched him in the shoulder. Ben winced and held his hurt shoulder.

"That was mean," he told her, and ducked from another punch. "I mean really, Krissy, I'm trying to be like a gentleman and you're just being uncouth." He shook his head despairingly at her. "I think we need to find you some classes where they teach you manners. You can be all lady-like." He did a princess bow to demonstrate his point.

The resulting punch to the stomach was so worth it.

 **BW**

Claire watched her fellow classmates on the quad from her perch in one of Big Roy's (the oldest tree on campus) branches, her mind on Ben. It's considered normal now for her to always think of the wayward Winchester.

She's been looking again, thinking maybe that whatever is that's hiding Ben from them has degraded or worn off after four months. There's nothing. What if Ben's really gone? What if she's never going to see him again? What if Dean shows up tomorrow and she or Jody or Alex blurt out Ben had been living in Sioux Falls and some unknown entity stole him while he and Claire were on a supervised hunt with Jody?

She wonders just which part of that last sentence would capture his attention the most? Something stole him, he and Claire were on a hunt, or the fact they were on a hunt with Jody. Either one of those will piss him the fuck off.

He might actually kill them. She's seen the aftermath of Dean losing it. She doesn't want that to happen to her. Even if he's better, they still lost his son, and that might send him over the edge again.

Maybe she should just stop thinking of Ben and maybe the solution will come.

Throwing herself into becoming a hunter sounds like a good way to take her mind off of things. Plus she might even come across a lead on Ben's whereabouts. It's better than doing nothing or at least something other than twiddling her thumbs and hoping for the best.

If she keeps busy, it'll keep her from going crazy.

Jody doesn't know what to do. Alex has been pulling away more and more, and Claire . . . she's been looking for hunts. She's been blowing off school to do research on some bodies that turned up. Jody wrote them off as a more human killer thing than a monster type thing.

Try telling that to to a very determined hunter-in-training.

As for herself, Jody's been burying herself in her work, and doing her best not to notice any case that screams monster or demonic related murder or death. Her "daughters" acting different than they usually are has been a lot of help, in all honesty. It keeps the crushing guilt at bay when she's too worried about her girls.

Her hands shook when she reached for her phone to check her messages, just in case Ben somehow got in touch with her.

Disappointment threatened to crush her beneath its weight she saw only messages from Alex saying she's studying at a friends and for her not to wait up, and some from Claire asking if she could use some of Ben's books to look into something she found interesting. She didn't know how to reply to Claire's request. If she says no, Claire'll pull even further away and do something potentially dangerous, and if she says yes, that might actually put Claire in even more danger. She doesn't think she can handle losing another kid.

Opting for ignoring the text, Jody replied back to Alex telling her not to stay out too late. She'll talk to Claire later.

 **BW**

Dean let out a groan of frustration. They've been looking and looking for something, anything that could kill the Darkness, and they've been coming up empty.

Plus, he's been feeling off, more than that bizarre pull he feels towards Amara. It's been nagging at him lately. The past four months or so, Dean's felt like he should be looking for something. He brushed it off as the pull towards Amara, but even when he was around her, that feeling of missing something was still there.

Someone's missing. But who? Everyone he knows and cares about is safely inside the Men of Letters bunker.

He thought about asking Cas, but lately, his angel seems to be in a bit of a mood. He's been frowning and staring off into the distance, head tilted to the side, as if listening to something or someone but whenever Dean asked him about it, Cas'd brush him off.

That more than anything told him Dean's not imagining that feeling. Or maybe Cas has been ruminating about Amara and Dean keeps interrupting him. He'd be pissed off too if his best friend kept asking him stupid questions about a problem he already knows about. Hell, Dean would have reacted a little more angrily than Cas did.

"You know, we really should ask Cas why he's so distracted lately," spoke up Sam. He's sitting at his favorite table in the library, trying in vain to find something that could help them with their current problem. Dean doesn't have much hope on that but if anyone could find something, it's Sam.

"I know," Dean sighed. Add that to their ever expanding list of things to do. "But for now let's leave it alone. I really don't feel up to having a heart to heart with our resident angel."

" _Your_ resident angel," Sam muttered under his breath. At Dean's less than amused look, Sam changed the subject to, "So, about Amara ..." he trailed off at Dean's dark expression. "Uhm, we should - we should, uh - Did you text Jody and Claire our new numbers? You know just in case they need to get a hold of us or something."

Dean glared at Sam for the Cas and Amara remarks.

"No, you said _you_ were going to text them," Dean pointed out. "I rather we just didn't get in contact with them. We don't need to draw them in on this."

Sam sighed and closed his laptop. "I know but I like knowing if they need us they can get in contact with us. And it's not like they ever call to 'just check in.'"

Dean conceded that one.

"Fine, text Jody and Claire. I'm gonna go get some grub. Rabbit food for you, yeah?" Dean smirked when Sam bitchfaced at him. "And real for food for me and Cas. Be back in a few."

Sam watched Dean leave with an annoyed glare. There's nothing wrong with eating right, especially in their line of work. He had real fun when the Leviathans made all the food Dean liked dangerous to eat, he even took Dean to a farmer's market just to see Dean's face. It was so worth it.

Smirking at the memory, Sam pulled out his phone and texted Cas. The angel immediately responded back, saying he'll be right there.

Dean's the one that pointed out that Cas has been acting weird, almost squirrely lately, and every time Cas acts like that, it's never a good thing. Whatever it is that's bothering him, will almost definitely come to bite all of them in the ass. It always does. For all of them. And this time Sam has every intention of heading this one off. They already have too much on their plate.

A few minutes pass and Cas arrives. Sam watches him walk down the stairs, his head swiveling left and right, as if looking for someone. Gee, he wonders who he's looking for.

Snorting to himself, Sam gets up and goes to greet Cas. "Hey, Cas, how've you been? Dean went to go get dinner." Better to start with small talk to get the angel off-guard.

"I've been looking for Amara," Cas answered slowly, like Sam's an idiot.

Sam ignored that like he always does. "Look, Cas, we need to talk."

Aaaaand just like that, Cas's walls come up, and he's wearing his "I'm an Angel of the Lord, do not piss me off, and I will tell you nothing" face. Sam hates that face. Only Dean can break Cas out of that face by merely saying the angel's name. He really has to learn that trick.

"C'mon, Cas," Sam almost whined, "you know why we need to talk."

Stoic, thy name is Castiel.

"Caaaaas," this time Sam did whine. "If you don't talk to me, you'll have to talk to Dean. He's been worried about you."

Cas blinked in surprise at that, and Sam pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. These two might actually be the death of him. So emotionally constipated.

"Fine, can you at least tell me if what's bothering you has to do with Amara?" Cas shook his head. "Okay. Then is it something that would hurt us? Physically?" Another shake. "Great! Is it something important?" Hesitation and a little bit of fidgeting. "Is it Claire?" A shake of raven hair. Hmm. "Jody?" A head shake. "Should we be worried about this thing?" More hesitation then a slow shake. "So you don't know for sure then." A shrug.

Okay, now Sam's starting to get annoyed with the non-answers.

"Cas!"

Cas opened his mouth to say something but Dean entering the bunker had the angel snapping his mouth shut and his expression turning mulish, daring Sam to push him on this.

Bad timing, Dean. Really bad timing.

"Cas," Dean said pleasantly surprised. "You're here, and just in time for dinner. I got you your favorite." He brandished a grease stained white bag holding undoubtedly burgers and fries. "Take off your coat and come eat," he ordered the angel.

Dean breezed past them and made his way into the library where he started depositing their food in their respective seats. They've shared enough meals together to warrant their own place settings.

Sam shared a look with Cas, promising they're not talking about this. Cas merely stared back that way he does, and it had Sam looking away first. He lasted longer this time, so there's that. Dean's the only one who can hold his own the angel on that front. In fact, Cas is the one who looks away first in their staring contest thing they have.

Dean rolled his eyes at their attempt at subtlety.

He _knows_ Sam attempted to get Cas to talk about what's bothering him and struck out. Which is why Sam is being a little too aggressive with placing their drinks on the table.

"Okay, out with it," Dean said after a few minutes of tense eating. How can that be a thing? Eating is supposed to be enjoyable, but leave it to these two to ruin it. "Talk. Now." He saw Sam shift but he stubbornly kept quiet while Cas stared at his burger. "Fine. If you two won't talk, then I'm going to ask one question, and Cas," he pointed at the angel, "you're going to answer it. Okay?"

Cas looked apprehensive but he nodded his head.

"I feel like I'm missing something, something important. Do you know what it is?"

Now Cas looked terrified. "Yes."

Oh, _now_ the angel decides to talk, Sam thought sourly, and stabbed his lettuce aggressively.

"Care to tell me what it is?" Dean asked sarcastically, but ice crystals grew in his blood at how scared his angel looked. "Cas? Any time now, buddy."

Cas swallowed and looked like he'd rather be anywhere but here. He opened and closed his mouth several times but nothing came out. He shot a beseeching look to Sam to help him but Sam wanted to know too.

"Is whatever it is I'm missing in danger?" Dean decided to ask to help the poor angel out.

"No. Not yet," Cas replied quickly. "But if you try to find what it is you're missing, you'll be painting a target on their back."

Sam pounced on one word, mere seconds ahead of Dean. "Wait. _Their_ back. So Dean's missing someone, not something."

Cas looked like he wanted slap himself but he kept quiet.

They asked him questions but Cas remained silent.

"Fine!" Dean yelled in frustration. "Swear to me that they're safe and unharmed right now."

"They are. They're actually safer than we are." He paused then added, "As long as you stay away, h-they'll be safe."

Dean narrowed his eyes at the slip. He opened his mouth to push the matter, only to be stopped by Sam's not-so-subtle kick to the shins.

"Ow! Shit! What the hell, Sam?" Dean yelped. "What was that for?"

"Drop it. That's all we're getting out of him," Sam said. He shot Dean a glare, and Dean subsided, grumbling about the kick and Cas keeping secrets again. "Dean, enough."

Dean glared right back but did drop the subject.

Cas let out a relieved sigh even as guilt ate at him. He should tell Dean about Benjamin Winchester and Joanna's interference, but he wasn't lying about putting Ben in danger should Dean seek him out. Amara might not like having to share Dean's attention. She's already miffed about him and Sam. He'd hate to imagine what she'd do to Ben.

But is it really a bad thing keeping Dean from his son when Dean had already asked him to keep his son safe?

...Is it?

* * *

 **Yay! Dean, Sam and Cas made an appearance! Took a while, no? *laughs***


	12. Chapter 12

**Sooooo... I re-wrote this four times before I settled on something I don't hate. I am so, so sorry for the wait. I hadn't had the inspiration or the will to write recently but I managed to finish this chapter. Here's hoping I can keep the momentum going. Cross your fingers the next chapter won't take as long to write.**

* * *

Ben spat on the ground, not surprised to see blood come out. He wiped his mouth to clear away any residual evidence of his recent ass kicking by creatures that are barely taller than a kindergartner.

Kobolds, man. They are vicious when they want to be.

Krissy got word of a family being terrorized by some unseen forces. Their youngest was found strapped atop the stylish chandelier for god knows how long, their oldest was buried under mountains of trash (Gross!), and the parents themselves were locked inside their room with a skunk trapped inside (Even more gross.).

After a jaunt in the library, which took _forever_ since Krissy didn't have any lore books and Ben's were still with Jody back in Sioux Falls, they came up with the family being haunted by Kobolds: Germanic sprites that are usually house spirits, not unlike the _lares_ of Roman lore or the, and were quite helpful unless the masters of the house mistreated or neglected the kobolds, then all hell breaks loose. The kobolds take their revenge by playing malicious tricks on the owners of the house. It is not a good idea to piss of kobolds.

The kobolds come in four shapes: animals, fire, objects and human - like a small child, but they can also be invisible. The kobolds that kicked their ass were human in shape. Well, child size. They still kicked his and Krissy's ass.

They had no idea whatsoever on how to deal with them. There is so much lore out there, and the name itself is completely obscure. One is saying it's a derivative of a derivative of so many languages such as Latin, Greek and German. There's a few sprinkling of others but they seemed to be derivatives of the Greek word _kobaloi_. It's all so confusing... and kind of fascinating from a linguistic point of view.

Whatever the case may be, he and Krissy went in blind. Something Ben suspects his dad would have Gibbs-slapped him - them so hard for.

Krissy gambled since they're spirit-like, they'd be vulnerable to iron, and she was right.

They hissed and snarled whenever Ben and Krissy got close to them with their fire pokers, dodging out of the way before they could get a good hit in to kill them. It was kind of funny, looking back on it. These diminutive figures scampering all around them, and Ben and Krissy swinging like they're the worst golfers in the world. Or the worst batters. Either one is apt.

"You owe me the biggest pizza in Portland!" Ben yelled at Krissy as he swung and missed one of the little buggers. "And the biggest milkshake I can stomach." He swung again and managed to get a piece of one kobold, sending it spiraling across the destroyed kitchen.

It popped back up with an angry snarl and tackled Ben like it was a professional football player.

Ben and the kobold ended up in a brawl so intense that had Krissy and the second kobold stopped their own fight and watched them duke it out. Ben's iron poker got sent spiraling away towards the kitchen when he got tackled, but Ben didn't even notice, too busy punching everything he could reach, hoping he was actually hurting the creature and not tiring himself out. He wouldn't put it past the little monster to think of that.

The kobold slammed its meaty, club of a hand into Ben's stomach, making him double over and gasp for breath. The creature cackled in malicious delight.

Krissy used that moment to hit her kobold with her fire poker. Instead of keeling over dying, it exploded like the vampires from _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ , leaving behind a cloud of dust that had Krissy praying it was from the kobold being dirty instead of her inhaling skin dust. She really hoped so.

"Yuck!" Krissy spat, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. "That was disgusting! Please God that the dust be from its dirty jacket. Oh, God please."

She stuck out her tongue and used her sleeve to wipe the remaining grime from her mouth.

Ben used Krissy's dramatics to kick the kobold towards the huntress, who swung the iron poker on instinct, dispatching the second creature in another cloud of dust. It made Krissy let out a shriek of disgust and started spitting like she was an extra in an Old West film, using the floor as the world's biggest spittoon.

It had Ben cackling at the sight.

"Yeah, yeah," Krissy snarled. "Laugh it up, baby Winchester. Don't forget I'm the who took out these creatures," she pointed out with no small amount of petty.

"And whose idea was it to go after said creatures without a real plan to take them out?" Ben shot back. He got up and dusted off debris dust from their battle/ass-kicking with the kobolds.

He scanned the room with a raised eyebrow. "We're not getting paid for this mess."

"I know," Krissy responded, still spitting every now and then. "I think it'd be best if we took off before they got home."

"Agreed. But we're gonna leave a couple of hundred dollars for them as an apology," Ben added. Okay, so he's feeling guilty for trashing the Parks' home. When they had told the family they were here to take care of their supernatural problem, the Parks had been understandably dubious of their experience but Krissy laid on the charm like a pro. Even Ben had been taken in with the lie.

Krissy let out a loud groan. "Do we have to? It's not like we trashed the place on purpose. We need that money to last, Ben. We can't just be giving out the last of our money!"

"Yes, we can," Ben retorted. "We have more than enough money to last us even if we give $300 to the Parks. And even if the money ran out, we could always steal stuff and find a fence for it." He pinned Krissy with a disproving stare. "We will not just leave this people with a repair bill longer than our arms combined. The very _least_ we could do is leave a few hundred dollars for them. I mean, we did trash their rather nice and stylish home, Krissy."

"Oh, fine!" Krissy gave in with a loud, put upon sigh. "But next time, we will bug out even if the place looks like a set from a Michael Bay film."

Ben considered then nodded. "Sounds good. Now let's go eat."

"Now you're talking!"

He pinned the money on the wall with a bright red thumb tack at eye level as a consolation for the destroyed house before they left.

 **BW**

Ben and Krissy lay in bed together, both exhausted from their hunt yesterday. The huntress lay on her side sound asleep while Ben thought about Claire and Sioux Falls. He really missed the blonde. She was his first friend since he lost his mom and she was the last connection he had to his dad before Jo sent him to Krissy.

He still wonders how she did that.

What is she?

His first thought was ghost but there is no way a ghost would be able to transport Ben from South Dakota to freaking Seattle. Maybe she had help. But who would help her help him?

Jo's words circle around and around in his head whenever he's feeling restless.

 _I'll keep you safe from Her._ Who's "Her"? Why would this mysterious Her come after him? He's not dangerous. He doesn't have any beef with anything supernatural related. At least not yet.

He just really wants to go home.

He and Logan were supposed to catch a college football game together. Maria was going to take him to _The Death of a Salesman_. Jody had promised to teach him some more hand-to-hand techniques that would help him out with more powerful creatures that rely on physicality. He and Claire were supposed to go to the horrorfest drive-in in October. He and Alex were going to take practice SAT tests so when they actually took the test, they'd kick its ass.

So many things he won't be able to do anymore.

Ben sighed and wrapped his arms around Krissy, nuzzling the back of her neck. He has no idea what's going on with him and the other hunter, and it's kind of an unspoken rule _not_ to talk about it. Krissy went so far as to threaten to kick his ass when she snuggled up next to him one night. He believes her.

What is it with him and women who have no problem threatening him with bodily and carrying through with the threat when he called them on their bluff? They then show him they weren't joking. They seem to take joy in showing him just how wrong he was.

Krissy stirred but quieted when Ben pulled her closer against his chest.

He really wants to go home.

 **BW**

Jody wanted to confess.

She wanted to clear her conscience and to get rid of the feelings of guilt and inadequacy. She wanted absolution. She wanted forgiveness.

Seven months. That's how long Ben's been missing. Seven months, and Claire has given up. Her young ward has been throwing herself more and more into hunting, skipping school and getting into fights with Alex - all so she wouldn't have to think about their missing friend. Jody has no idea what Claire had been researching the possibility of vampires in Sioux Fall, or that she had called Sam and _Dean_ to get their opinion on the matter.

It had been hell having Dean right there and hiding the fact that his son is currently missing.

Jody had taken Claire aside and yelled at her for bringing Dean here, and Claire had yelled right back saying dead bodies are more important than a cold case.

That brought Jody up short.

Maybe things are worse than she thought with Claire if she's referring to Ben as a "cold case".

They got through the hunt without admitting anything. Although, Jody had to pop antacids every other hour to deal with guilt induced heartburn. Her actions caused Sam to ask about her health, which made her feel so much worse. Even Alex couldn't look at the brothers in the eye. Only Claire was able to deal with them without any ounce of guilt.

Alex had been severely shaken by the whole thing but it patched the rift that had formed between the two girls. The hunt solidified Claire's desire to become a hunter. So... that's bad.

They're currently saying goodbye to the boys and Jody is doing her best not to reveal her feelings.

"So," Dean asked casually, using the demon killing knife to pick at his nails. "What's going on with you guys?" He peered at her with a joking smile on his face but his eyes told a different story. He's worried about them.

"I know it's not nothing. You've guys been tense around us," Dean observed. "Even now. It's like you guys can't wait for us to leave." He leaned into Jody's personal space. "What's going on, Jody?"

Jody swallowed and pushed back her guilt. "Nothing. It's just been hard with the girls fighting so much lately, and Claire's desire to hunt hasn't been helping matters between them." She allowed her weariness to show to mask her true emotions. "That and there are some townspeople who've been giving me a hard time."

 _Doh!_ What'd she say that for?!

Dean frowned.

"Need us to handle it?" he asked jokingly.

Jody shook her head, forcing herself to smile. "No, it's fine. Just normal, every day complaints is all."

 _Please don't go find them,_ she begged - prayed silently. _Please just leave now before Logan or Maria Marks see you and tell you all about my losing Ben._

"Besides, I'm pretty sure you guys got bigger fish to fry than fight these mundane battles for me," she told him. Jody dove in for a hug before he could ask anymore questions. "It was nice seeing you boys. How about next time you guys just come for a visit? No bloodshed. No hunting."

Sam grinned at her from by the Impala.

"That sounds like a good idea," Sam agreed. "Doesn't it, Dean?"

Dean stared at her with an unreadable expression, but he nodded his head in agreement. He switched his gaze to first Claire then to Alex, who both fidgeted under his gaze, refusing to look at him. He caught Sam's eye and had a silent conversation with his brother about their actions.

Jody prayed outright that they'd leave before they asked any questions they'd have difficulty answering without giving anything away.

The very real possibility of Dean finding out about Ben is terrifying in the extreme. She'd rather face the vampires again than tell Dean anything. And Sam. She'd rather be facing off against the monsters of Purgatory than deal with the disappointed look of Dean Winchester. And Sam.

"We need to go," Sam said suddenly, his now expression unreadable. "We need to go, Dean."

Dean stared at her a little longer but nodded his head and made his way to the Impala. He waved goodbye to them as he pulled out of the driveway. Sam gave them an indecipherable look as they drove away, turning to look behind him to continue watching them. It made a shiver of unease slither its way down her spine.

Sam knows. She feels this in her bones. Sam knows.

 **BW**

Ben threw a stiletto knife towards the homemade target Krissy made for training purposes. It hit home, dead center. He allowed a small smile of satisfaction grace his face.

It was nothing compared to the smile Krissy gave him. So full of pride. For him. For doing something he knows his mom would have frowned upon, but something his dad might have been just as proud as Krissy currently is.

"Nice," she complimented. She clapped him on the back and threw her own knife. Slightly off-center but still damn good. "Aw, stiletto, no!"

Ben laughed and slipped his arm around her waist, pressing a kiss atop her head. It's a new thing they've been doing lately. It started by accident.

One sleepy morning, in a rather domestic setting, Ben dropped a kiss of thanks on top of Krissy's head for making them breakfast in their current domicile. Neither of them reacted to the kiss, too distracted over their case of a ghoul to worry about something as mundane as an unexpected kiss, and if they did, it wouldn't've bothered as much as it should.

Krissy wrapped both her arms around Ben's waist, leaning into him. She blew a stray stand of hair out of her face.

"We should head out soon. We've been here a little too long," Krissy mumbled. She really didn't want to leave. The big town of Pine Grove has been a nice getaway for them.

The ghoul that originally brought them here hadn't been that hard to dispatch. It had Ben thinking that maybe it wanted to die. In fact, all of the monsters they'd been hunting seemed like they had a death wish. Only doing enough damage to earn the attention of a hunter, and then they'd run far enough away to give the illusion of wanting to live and they'd wait for the hunters to catch up. It had Krissy on edge for a while when Ben spoke his suspicions.

She hadn't denied it. And that worried him.

What is going on?

The Her Jo had been talking about _has_ to be the reason behind all of this. Monsters would rather rot in Purgatory than stay on Earth with all their preferred prey. Even the demons have been keeping a low profile.

"Have you ever dealt with angels?" Ben asked out of the blue.

Krissy pulled away to look at him funnily. That's an odd question to ask.

"No," she answered anyway. "Never had the pleasure to even meet them." She pulled him close again, hugging him tightly. "Why you asking?"

Ben sighed, allowing her to hold his weight for a second before pulling away. He ran his hand through his hair. It's getting long, he noted absently. He'll need a haircut soon. Maybe there's a cheap one somewhere in Pine Grove.

"Ben," Krissy said in a warning tone. "What made you ask that question? It is Castiel again?"

Ben shook his head. "No. It's just. I feel like everything's bugging out. Running for the hills. Even if it means dying to get away." He ran his hands through his hair again. "And sometimes," he admitted, "I feel like something's looking for me. And it's not Jody or Claire. I can hear them calling my name at night. On the wind, like they're whispering so they wouldn't be overheard."

Krissy felt ice form in her veins. That is not good. Not good at all.

"And I'm finding myself following the voice," Ben continued. "Sometimes I don't come to until I'm a half a mile away. It's like following a wilo-the-wisp. You're in a trance and you don't realize where you're going or how far you've traveled."

"How - How long has this been going on?" Krissy asked. She tightened her grip on his waist without thinking. How badly has she been failing keeping him safe? Jo told her to keep Ben safe, and she's been letting in him wander off in danger without knowing it. Some protector she is. Jo should have chosen someone else. They wouldn't have let their charge go off into danger without their knowledge.

Ben shrugged. "Since that case with the kobold."

"That's was two weeks ago!" Krissy cried. Two weeks of failing her job. "God, Ben! Why didn't you tell me this earlier? Anything could have happened to you! And it would have been my fault."

That shook Ben out of his reverie.

"Whoa! Wait, what? No, Krissy. No! It wouldn't have been your fault. It would have been mine," he assured her. "I would have been the idiot."

"Were you the one tasked with watching over a damn Winchester? No! I was, and I. Am. Failing!"

She turned and threw her last knife, hitting the bulls-eye dead center. Her chest heaved, battling with her feelings of failure and disappointment... and fear.

Ben knew he should have kept his mouth shut. It honestly hasn't been that bad. As long as he wears his earphones to bed, he can't hear the woman's voice to draw him out. It was only a few times he forgot. Too exhausted from their day to remember to put them in.

"It's okay. It's okay," he told her. Keeping his distance, knowing she wouldn't be open to being comforted right now. "You know now. Everything's going to be fine."

Krissy stormed off, too pissed to be around him. She's afraid that if she remains near him, she'd hit him for keeping this from her.

Ben watched her go. If he said anything right now, she'd come back and give his ass a proper kicking, and she wouldn't stop at that. Oh no. She would not stop at that. She'd make him lug everything, do all the research, clean up, find them places to crash, and she'd make him figure out ways to refill their ever dwindling money. And he sucks at that. All of it. Well, except the research. He's rather good at that and he prides himself with being damn good at research.

 _His uncle is good at research_. The thought popped into his head and reverberated around his mind until it settled deep within.

 _Yeah, Sammy's real good at research,_ his dad mumbled sleepily. His dad had woken him up for his early morning jog. _It's why I don't bother with that stuff. He'll just find out what we're hunting and he'll have a boat load of information to back it up, just in case I didn't believe him. You're good at it like he is_. His dad smiled at him before his dad's image disappeared but everything else remained.

It's a memory.

He had kept up with his dad during that jog, keeping pace with him until the last half mile, then his dad pulled away with an ease that said he'd been holding himself back for Ben. He sprinted after his dad but he couldn't bridge the gap between them. His dad was just too fast.

He can't remember what happened afterward but that's okay.

He has a memory of his dad.

 **BW**

Castiel adjusted the antennae on his tiny TV for better reception. The image cleared and he saw Sam in the bunker pouring over books looking somewhat frantic. He didn't see Dean. That's good. He has a hard time accepting his decision when he sees Dean because he knows once the hunter takes a true hard look at him, he'll know what he did to ensure Dean's and Sam's safety.

Especially Dean.

He won't let Amara hurt Dean. He won't let Amara hurt Sam to hurt Dean.

He won't let Amara find out about Benjamin Winchester. She'll get Dean by her side in a heartbeat if she used Ben's safety for Dean's compliance, Lucifer, too. He locked the memories of Ben deep inside so Lucifer couldn't get access to it. Oh, the Morning Star knows he's hiding something but he's willing to let it lie for now.

Letting him keep his little secrets until his older brother needed them is a power play that Castiel really didn't need reminding of. He knows what he signed up for.

When he's not watching TV, Castiel uses every enchantment he can think of to bury the memory of Ben Winchester deep enough so it wouldn't be worth the effort for Lucifer to dig through. He won't break that particular promise he made to Dean. Not that one.

"I think I'll watch _Loony Toons_. Dean seemed to like them," Castiel thought aloud. He's seen Dean watch it when he thought no one was looking.

He changed the channel from Sam to Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd.


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry for how short this is. I'll try to make the next chapter longer to make up for this teeny chapter. :)**

* * *

Krissy slammed her fist into the shapeshifter's stomach, channeling her anger into killing the creature. She and Ben just had their first real fight, and it was over Ben's desire to go back to Sioux Falls.

Despite everything that she has done to provide for them, all the training she's bestowed upon Ben, the sleepless nights before a hunt worrying about that if she screwed up, Dean would hunt her down herself, and she'd let him because she failed in keeping Ben safe. Despite all of that, all Ben cares about is his stupid sheriff, _Claire_ , and that Alex girl.

Okay, and he misses his foster parents like crazy. That one she gets.

It's just.

Ben wanting to go back to Sioux Falls this badly, it makes Krissy feel like she's not doing enough - that she's _not_ enough to keep Ben with her. Krissy is well aware that her feelings are illogical but it doesn't mean they aren't valid, to some extent.

The thing is, she has no idea whether or not the threat to Ben has passed. If it will ever pass.

Krissy ducked from a goddamn spinning kick (Seriously?!) and rolled next to a thick branch. Picking it up, Krissy let out a roar of rage and swung as hard as she could, using her hips like her father taught her to, and grinned darkly when she heard the crunch of broken bones from the shapeshifter's face when she hit home. She followed the now stumbling shapeshifter and swung the branch again, this time hitting the creature on the side of the head.

She'd love nothing more than to make it suffer, using it as an outlet for her anger, but Dean taught her not to go down that path because there is no guarantee she'd be able to come back from it.

The groaning shapeshifter curled into the fetal position, whimpering pathetically while it waited for Krissy to decide when she was going to kill it. The blood oozing out from under it, the bloody mess of its face and the new head wound she gave it, made it look like she murdered at least three people instead of hurting one shapeshifter.

Snarling in disgust, Krissy dropped the branch and pulled the silver knife from its sheath. She rolled the creature over and stabbed it in the heart without preamble. Stupid thing didn't even give her a decent fight, and now she has to lug its body to all the way down to the stolen car so she could burn its body and any evidence of her deed. The last thing she and Ben needs is the cops coming after them for killing "Melanie Swift".

It might make Ben all that more certain that the best place for him is Sioux Falls.

...Away from Krissy.

Because there is no way Krissy is going to live in South Dakota. Not even for Ben. She tried staying at one place, she got sent on a murder spree by someone she trusted. She got used and lied to. That kind of betrayal is hard to get over.

Frustration took over and Krissy kicked the shapeshifter's dead body.

Chest heaving, Krissy felt tears start to form at the thought of being on her own again. Ben being with her for these past few months, they were a godsend... and a curse. She didn't know just how lonely she was until Jo brought Ben to her. He made her forget just how ugly this lifestyle is, how soul crushing it can be. And now with Ben pushing her to at least _try_ to go to Sioux Falls, Krissy can feel the end of their journey coming to a close.

The thought sends panic through her body every time it crosses her mind.

"It's not fair!" Krissy shouted to the surrounding woods. It didn't answer back or offer comfort. She kicked the corpse again before repeating in a quieter voice, "It's not fair." And again the woods kept silent, letting her deal with her problem on her own.

She found someone who actually gets her, who not only understands her but the hunting lifestyle she leads, and all he really cares about is going back to his old life.

"It's. Not. Fair."

Krissy broke down, the canopy of trees above her and the surrounded brush, shielded her from sight; the only comfort the woods can give her at this moment in time, pleased she's finally letting her emotions out instead of forever bottling them up.

 **BW**

Ben worriedly watched the hotel clock. Krissy's been gone for hours and she hasn't texted him back to let him know she's okay. The clock ticked on, unconcerned about Ben's worry and fear.

He didn't understand her anger this morning. All he wanted to do was _try_ to go to Sioux Falls. That's it. He's not leaving her. He can't. He won't. He just wants to let everyone there know he's okay, that he's alive and unhurt... relatively. He still has a few cuts and bruises healing from their last couple of hunts. Jody, Claire and Alex will understand but he knows Logan and Maria won't.

Pain and homesickness hit him like a punch to the heart.

He shook his head to dispell the sadness before it took hold and all he'd end up doing for the next hour is crying and feeling bad for himself. All that would accomplish is him honing his self-pity skills and he's got that down pat, thank you very much. ...Maybe not a skill to be bragging about.

Instead of staring at the unconcerned and dickish clock, Ben stared out the window, watching as storm clouds gathered on the horizon. It seemed apropriate that a storm is on its way since Hurrican Krissy is out there somewhere, hopefully on her way home to him. He really does not like being out of contact with her for this long.

"Castiel," Ben started then stopped. He didn't know what he was going to say to the angel. "Castiel, I -," Ben stopped again, and took a deep breath before blurting out, "I want my dad. Do you hear me? I want my dad, Castiel. I just..." he ran his hands through his hair in frustration. He doesn't know why it's so hard to say what he means. He slumped against the crappy hotel chair and stared at the gathering clouds. "I want my dad to come get me and Krissy and have us live with him wherever he's at. I want to call the Sheriff and I want to see Claire and Alex again. I just want to go home, Cas."

Ben laid his head against the window. "I want to go home."

 **BW**

Claire felt like shit. Her head hurt. She really, really, _really_ hates finals. She'd rather be learning about exorcising and summoning demons than learning about Biology and the cycle of life and death. Although, they are similar if you squint and tilt your head Castiel style.

She also feels like shit because they just lied to Sam and Dean about Ben. Okay, they didn't outright _lie_. They _omitted_. There's a difference. Neither Dean nor Sam brought up Ben, and so, by that logic, they _did not lie_.

Then why is it eating at her?

All of them have been quiet since the brothers came and rescued them. It's not all bad, though. Her and Alex have been getting along a lot better since The Vampire Incident. Claire no longer picked fights with her just because, and Alex quit picking at her over every little thing that annoyed her. And Jody had been happy with the two of them, outside her own wealth of guilt over Ben and the brothers, of course.

All in all, things have been good with the three ladies.

...Until they ran into Logan and Maria Marks yesterday.

The amount of hatred and detestation aimed at them had Claire suddenly wishing for the Winchesters grilling them about Ben's whereabouts. Not a word was said between them but the venom glared their way spoke volumes of their anger towards them. And it's not like their feelings are unfounded and that they weren't undeserving of them.

Alex is still shaken from the encounter.

"Earth to Claire, come in, Claire," Jody sing-songed, waving her hand in front of the blonde's face. "You coming back down to the Earth soon?"

"Leave her be, Mom," Alex told her from her sprawled position on the couch. She's lazily flipping through the channels in lieu of doing her homework. "She's probably thinking about the cow mutilations over in Washington. Or even the weird storms that have been popping up lately. Who knows what hunter-like things that are currently residing in her mind."

Jody shushed her, and slapped her leg, the only part of her body she can reach without moving from the recliner.

"Watch _Fear Factor_ ," Jody ordered. Rolling her eyes when Alex saluted and stared intently at the TV like a smartass. "Claire, sweetie, return to Earth, please."

Claire blinked before looking and focusing on Jody.

"What?" she snapped.

Jody shot her a reproving look. "Watch it, Claire. You're still on thin ice."

"Whatever. I'm going out."

Jody and Alex watched as Claire stormed out of the house, barely slowing down enough to grab her keys and backpack on her way out. They winced when the blonde slammed the door shut behind her. The pictures rattled from the force of it, making Jody worried that the one of her son and husband would fall, but they merely shook like leaves in the wind.

"So," Alex started, "Ben, Logan and Maria, or the Winchesters?"

"All the above?" Jody didn't even have to ask for her to clarify what she's talking about. Which of the aforementioned things listed were bothering Claire tonight?

"I think it's Ben. She only ever gets this worked up over Ben." Alex fidgeted with her bracelet before asking, "Were her and Ben - Were they dating?"

Okay. What?

Jody stared at Alex in bafflement. Where the hell is this coming from? What brought it up? What is the thought process behind Alex's question?

"Um...no?" Sounded more like a question but that is all she's got at the moment.

"Oh," Alex said in a weird voice then she whispered so softly Jody had to strain to hear, "I miss him."

Oh. What kind of mother is she that she forgot that Alex and Ben were friends? She had been so focused on Claire and making sure she's not wallowing in guilt, she neglected Alex. Well, there's a girl's night Jody needs to organize sometime in the future.

"I think they were just friends," said Jody. "There was too much history of Dean for Claire to ever see Ben as anything more than just a friend. I think, maybe, that if Ben hadn't've disappeared, they might have become something more. I really don't know, Alex," she whispered. "Maybe they would have become that in-between state of friends and could be more than friends."

Alex nodded.

"I understand. At least I think."

Silence lapsed between them, the sounds of _Fear Factor_ filled the room. They watched impassively as a woman completely freaked out when she found out she had to lie down with snakes slithering all over her for five minutes in order to pass onto the next round.

"Chicken," Alex hissed, and it made Jody laugh. Personally, Jody was with the woman. She'd freak out too.

"Yeah, chicken."

 **BW**

Krissy returned to hotel they were currently staying at, covered in mud and grime. Ben didn't even wake up when she came in nor did he stir when she showered and crawled into bed, snuggling up close to him. He merely pulled her close to him and held her tight.

Maybe she can live with Ben's Sheriff for a while. At least until Ben graduates from school... or gets his GED, because at this point, she doesn't think he can make up all the days he's missed without repeating the entire year. Maybe that might be for the best. She can go to school with him. Maybe even go to the same college. They can hunt on breaks.

Would Ben go for it though? Once the danger has passed, of course.

Would Ben even want her around afterwards? She likes to think so. She likes to think they have something between them. Something not easily broken or thrown away. Her minor freak out earlier aside, her and Ben do share a bond, a deep bond.

So, what is she going to do? She's not giving Ben up without one hell of a fight. He's all she has left. Not even Dean can compare to Ben.

Krissy tugged Ben closer, trapping one of his legs between her thighs. She was the little spoon to his big spoon, her favorite position. Krissy liked the feeling of being held, of feeling safe, and Ben is the only person since her father - has she felt like this. Sure, Dean came to her aid when she needed him but Ben has been with her for months, watching her back and making sure they had an exit strategy should things go sideways.

Fine. If Ben wants to go back to Sioux Falls, she'll go with him. Jo and the Big Bad be damned. If Ben wants to go home, then he's going home. She'll find a way for Ben to see his Sheriff and _Claire_ again.

She's never met Claire but something about the way Ben talks about the wannabe huntress irks her. Really riles her up whenever Ben talks so fondly of Claire and of the other girl, Alex.

Ben started to stir - nightmares no doubt of a life he can't remember - haunting him at night. It's rare but Ben does have nightmares. He'll wake up with no memory of his dreams but he'll he so shaken up from the experience, he'll follow her around like a scared puppy until the last vestiges of the dream fade away to nothing.

Claire or Alex can't have that part of Ben. It's for her only. _Krissy_ takes care of him. She's been protecting him. Ben needs her more than he does them.

Ben needs her more but she's willing to give up their life for some stability. She just needs to find a way to get him home. There has to be some way past whatever spell is on them keeping them from Sioux Falls or even getting in contact with Ben's "family". She'll figure it out.

She won't fail Ben in this.

 **BW**

Dean wanted to punch something. Anything. God Himself, if He ever shows His stupid face. He just wanted to punch _something_.

Cas, his Cas, allowed himself to be taken over by Lucifer. The idiot allowed the Devil to walk among them because he thought it would help against their fight with Amara. When he gets the angel back, his kicking Cas' ass from here to Heaven to Purgatory to Hell and back. He might just chain the angel to himself to keep him out of trouble. That seems to be the only way to keep him from making stupid decisions.

Every time something big goes down, Sam and Dean leaves to enact some hail mary to help them win, and when that fails, they come back to regroup with Cas and to think of another plan; only to find out the angel did something so stupid that Dean seriously wonders how they're friends. Oh yeah, Dean is definitely chaining Castiel to him. No more cockamamie plans that inevitably blow up in their faces and make the situation so much worse, and it makes Sam and Dean's job so much harder because they have to fix Cas' screw ups on top of everything else they have to do.

Yep, when Dean gets his angel back, he's never letting Cas out of his sight.

Now, how the hell do they get Lucifer out of Cas?


	14. Chapter 14

Amara felt anger build up inside her. No matter what she does, her brother refuses to come out of his hidey hole and confront her, and to top it off, there is something keeping Dean from joining her. She knows his brother or his pet angel aren't enough to rival her sway over the elder Winchester. No way.

But...

There is something or someone who is powerful enough or important enough to keep Dean from accepting the peace he so dearly longs for. Even without the bond between them, Amara would have been able to sense his longing to rest.

Would she have to track down this person(?) and kill them before Dean accepts her offer? Or would she have to extend the offer to this person as well? Amara isn't sure she'd be able to share Dean. It's galling that she'd have to let some lesser being have just as much power over Dean as she does, and she's older than their precious God.

Maybe if found whatever's keeping Dean from her, she can erase it from Dean's memory. It'd solve one of her problems.

Finding her brother... she has a feeling Dean is the way for her to get her little brother's attention. Dean will draw her brother out of hiding, but Dean won't come to her until she deals with whatever's holding him back. Take care of that first. She gets Dean. And then she'll track down her precious baby brother and have a few choice words with him. Maybe act out a few revenge scenarios she has been keeping on the back burner until the time was right.

Now, maybe Dean's pet angel will know who has this power over him that rivals her own. Where, oh, where is Dean's little angel?

 **BW**

Castiel felt the air shift. It was cold. And it felt ancient. Lucifer's grace shuddered. That can't be good.

Lucifer appeared in the library of the bunker, or at least the representation of the library. It's one of Castiel's favorite rooms, outside of his own, and after Dean's room, of course. Dean's room is his favorite. It's also where Castiel feels the most grounded, which is why he skirts around it in his mind. He goes into Dean's room, the guilt of lying to Dean - and to Sam - would crush him, and he might inadvertantly reveal to his big brother Dean's ultimate weakness. That, he would not do. Not that. He'd rather Lucifer tear him apart grace piece by grace piece than put Benjamin Winchester in danger.

He is the only Winchester Castiel hasn't betrayed or lied to. Neglected, yes. But he has never betrayed the youngest Winchester.

"Hello, Castiel," the Lightbringer greeted with a mocking smile. He sneered at Castiel's surroundings. "What have you been up to, little bro?"

Castiel hunched over his tiny TV set, focusing on the Doctor and Clara's adventures through time and space. He should take Sam and Dean into space like the Doctor does with his friends. They could be his companions.

"We need to talk, Cassie," Lucifer said as he sat down across from Castiel on the library table. "I think Auntie is looking for you." _That_ caught Castiel's attention. His older brother smirked at his bewildered expression. "I know. It confused me too. But then I thought about it. Maybe our dear aunt finally figured out that to get to Dean, she needs Sam _and_ you."

The Morningstar's smirk grew cold and cruel.

"But I don't think that's _all_ she needs you for. You're hiding something, little brother, and if you don't tell me what it is of your own volition, then I promise you, you won't like it when I look for it. It will be painful beyond what even Dad can imagine."

Castiel remained focused on his TV. He won't think of Benjamin. He won't. It'd be like waving a red flag for his brother to see and chase after.

He thinks of Benjamin, the spells he weaved will start to crumble and the memories will tumble out all on their own. The boy's prayers will be heard, and it's be a homing beacon for the Lightbringer to find Dean's son.

His brother sighed, like he was disappointed in Castiel for not cooperating.

"Fine. The hard way it his, little brother. Don't say I didn't warn you."

Lucifer stood up and held his arms out, his eyes were closed as he concentrated on locating any leverage he could find on the Winchesters. His fingers twitched, making flicking motions as he scrolled through Castiel's memories. Nothing interesting or vital on the Winchesters. He rather enjoyed seeing Sam through Castiel's eyes, and he almost gagged when he saw just how much Castiel cared about Dean Winchester.

His fingers froze when he found a black-and-white memory of Dean and Castiel in that old hunter's house, they're arguing but he can't hear what they're saying. There's sigils painted on the windows, warding against angels. This must be when little brother battled Raphael over the archangel's plans to jumpstart the apocalypse to get him and Michael out of the Cage. He can't even read their lips. A reluctant grin of appreciation at his little brother's spell weaving stole across Lucifer's face before he could stop it. The spell is well written.

No matter how well written, and the power behind it, there is always a weak link. If he finds it, he could unravel this seemingly unimportant memory.

He dug deep into his grace, summoning enough power to break the enchantment over the memory. Distantly, he heard his little brother cry out in pain. A cold grin stretched his lips. He did warn the Angel of Thursday he wouldn't like him looking for the memories on his own.

The memory flared to life and in technicolor and surround sound.

 _"Cas!" Dean yelled, anger and betrayal giving strength to his voice. "We can fix this! I told you. Just stop whatever it is you're doing with Crowley and let me - us - help. You don't have to fight your brother on your own. We fought Lucifer and won. Raphael is nothing compared to God's favorite."_

 _Castiel shook his head in frustation. Why won't Dean_ listen _to him? Why isn't he hearing the words he's saying?_

 _"I'm doing this for you!" Castiel shouted back. "I'm doing this for you and Sam! I want you to have a normal, safe life. I want you to be able to go back to your family, Dean. He's still waiting for you. He may not remember you, but his soul his still waiting for you to come back to him. He'll always wait for you, Dean. He's been doing it all his life."_

 _Dean staggered back a couple of steps, his face sheet white. Guilt radiated off of him in waves that were palpable and powerful._

 _"You did the right thing," Castiel couldn't help but reassure the hunter. "He'll be safe until everything is finished."_

Lucifer frowned. 'He'? This is not what he was expecting. Why hide the dialogue of this memory instead of hiding the whole memory?

"What are you hiding, little brother?" Lucifer wondered out loud. "What is so important that Amara is searching for you instead of seducing Dean to her side or searching for Dad?"

 _Dean recovered and let out a roar of rage. He shot forward and slammed Castiel against the wall behind the angel._

 _"Don't you dare bring him up! Don't you dare say his name," Dean snarled. "Stay away from him! The hospital was the last time you will_ ever _go near him, do you understand? I will kill you if I find out you went anywhere near him."_

 _Castiel's grace shuddered and cried out for him to explain. He's hurting Dean, but Dean's, and Sam's, life is far more important than any pain he's putting the brothers through. He's not only doing it for them. There's someone more important he needs to protect now, and he knows down to the very bottom of his grace that Sam and Dean would rather die than let that person feel any pain their life might bring to his._

 _ **No!**_

Lucifer stumbled from the force of Castiel's shove. He reached out and grabbed onto the table behind him to balance himself. He stumbled more out of surprise than the strength of his little brother's measly push.

Castiel is standing in front of him, face dark with barely surpressed rage, but Lucifer can see the fear he's desperately trying to hide. Oh, yahtzee.

He started chuckling.

"Oh, Cassie, Cassie, Cassie," Lucifer tsked. "You really should learn how to hide your emotions."

He flicked his wrist and Castiel was thrown across the room and down the steps into the war room. Another flick and his little brother is frozen on the ground. He can feel Castiel's grace seethe and rage against the restriction, and he's a little surprised that the seraph is making head way on breaking the spell.

"The memory is too powerful for any enchantments to truly hide from me," Lucifer pontificated. "So, that means whoever it is you're hiding, is more important than your precious Dean. I felt your emotions, Castiel. I felt your guilt and frustration over the hunter, despite knowing you were in the right. How can you feel guilty by doing the right thing?"

Castiel struggled against the immobilizing spell, he even twitched. Interesting.

"Our kind was never meant to mix, little brother," Lucifer spoke in a surprisingly soft tone. "Father gave them too much free will, especially the Winchesters, and they think they know what's best. If you hadn't've done what you did, Raphael would have killed you and me and Michael would be tearing this world apart in our true vessels."

Castiel's struggles seemed weaker now. Not because he was tiring, but because he was listening to him.

Lucifer walked over and crouched down so he was eye level with his little brother. He even reached out and gently caressed the brunet's hair in brotherly affection. He's close to breaking the younger angel. He can feel it. Stupid him for thinking he should use force instead of affection and concern.

The Winchesters really did a number on him. Well, one Winchester in particular. Don't matter, it's given Lucifer the in he's been looking for. Though there is a part of him that is severly pissed off on his little brother's behalf. It's a small part. Like miniscule. No bigger than a molecule, but it's still there, and it's urging him to at _least_ smack the elder Winchester for his little brother's treatment at his hands.

"Amara will kill him, you know this. It's why you said yes to me," Lucifer whispered softly. "I can save him and Sam. I can save this mysterious person, too. I can keep him safe from our demented aunt. Just tell me who he is, baby brother," he coaxed, "and I will protect him. Amara will never touch him, I promise."

Castiel wavered before steeling himself.

"I _am_ protecting him," the younger angel said defiantly. "I have screwed up horribly with Sam and Dean, but I will not hurt Be- this person or put them in harm's way. You will kill him just like Amara will."

The Lightbringer felt wrath building up inside him.

"Impudent little shit," he snarled.

He raised his hand, ready to blast the annoying little brother into itty, bitty pieces when an idea struck him.

"The Winchesters," the Lightbringer breathed. "Oh, Father, I'm an idiot." He stared at his defiant sibling with a blank expresssion before saying in a bored voice, "Go back to your TV, little brother. I got what I want from you."

He left knowing Castiel would be freaking out over whether or not he spilled the beans. Good. The more he thinks of what he's hiding, the more the wards, spells and enchantments will break, and he'd be able to find out just who the Winchesters and his little brother is hiding from him. Someone Amara is also searching for.

Maybe he should find a way to change his vessel. He'd rather not be in Castiel's meatsuit when their dear old aunt comes a-callin'.

 **BW**

Sam watched his brother stare at the wall, eyes far away. He's been doing that a lot lately.

There's no need to guess who his brother is thinking of. One word: Castiel. Their resident wayward angel who's currently the vessel for Lucifer, and though Dean'll never admit it, he's also thinking about Ben. It became obvious once they actually sat down and thought about it. Who else would Castiel protect over them? Over Dean?

It would be the one person in all the world both of them would die for: Ben Braeden, Dean's only living child. He doesn't like to think about Emma, his Amazonian daughter Sam killed. He felt so much guilt for so long for killing his daughter that he didn't know what to think when he stopped feeling guilty.

More than once he saw Dean reach for his phone, finger hovering over Jody's contact number. If he called her, she'd be able to track down Ben for them, but that would also bring Amara's attention to Ben. They've been lucky so far that no one knows about Dean's son.

Well, other than Crowley but he's not stupid enough to give up Ben without getting something out of it.

Cas was right about them staying away from Ben to keep him safe. And the fact that Lucifer hasn't come calling with Ben in his grasp, tells them that Cas is protecting Ben from the favored son somehow. Their angel is stronger than they give him credit for.

"We'll get Cas back," Sam told his older brother, "and we'll stop Amara. Once we do that, we'll go find Ben."

Dean slowly turned to look at Sam, and Sam did he best to hold his brother's gaze. He lasted for almost a minute before looking away.

"Lisa's been dead for over a year. My son has been in foster care for over a year. No, actually," Dean said, standing up out of his chair and started pacing. He gestured wildly as he continued, "My son is missing. He has been missing for _months_ , Sam! I've only just found out. What kind of father am I that I never knew he was in foster care in the first place? That Lisa is _dead_. She's dead."

His brother seemed to collapse into himself and he flopped back down into his chair. He rested his elbows on his knees as he rubbed his temples.

"My son is missing, my best friend is currently the vessel for the Devil, and I'm tired, Sam. I'm just so tired," admitted Dean.

Sam didn't know what to say to make Dean feel better. This is different. Dean's son is missing. His attraction to Amara and all her promises are wearing him down, and with Cas out of commission, Sam has no idea what to do next. His brother's hellbent on saving Cas before they find a way to take out Amara, but the news of Ben's disappearence has thrown them for a loop. They had assumed that he was safe living his life with Lisa somewhere safe.

"My son thinks he's an orphan," Dean whispered, "and he's missing. And I'm just so tired, Sammy. I don't know what to do anymore."

It's the most defeated his brother has ever looked, and it scares him. Not even when they were battling Lucifer the first time was he this low. His brother is almost to the point of being broken. Just one push and he topples over into the abyss where Sam wouldn't be able to bring him back from, at least not on his own.

Dean looked at him with such a lost look that Sam had a hard time keeping eye contact. He heard his brother get up and make his way back to his room.

He cursed himself for not saying anything but he honestly didn't know what to say to make everything better.

Sam pulled out his phone and called Jody.

"Jody? Hey, it's Sam," he said. "I was wondering if you can do me a favor." There's a pause before Jody asks him what kind of favor. "I need you to find someone for me. It needs to be between us. Dean can't find out, okay?" Sam sighed in relief when she agreed. "I need you to find Benjamin Braeden for me. He's, uh, he's Dean's son. We just found out he's missing.

"No, I don't know how long he's been missing or where. The social worker we called said his foster parents claimed he was lost out of neglience of a third party." Sam listened to Jody's question before shaking his head. "No. They won't tell us who the foster parents are or where he'd been staying, and we couldn't exactly tell them that Ben's dad is looking for him. We don't anyone to know about him except you. We know we can trust you to keep Ben safe until we handle this Amara situation." There's a long pause that had Sam furrowing his brows in worry.

"Jody, you'd be able to do that for me, right? If not, I can ask Donna to do it. I know you have your hands full with Claire and Alex but it's for Dean. I'd rather family handle it." Sam listened to Jody waffle about before agreeing. "Great! Thank you so much, Jody. You have no idea what this would mean to Dean if we found Ben and confirmed he's safe."

Sam listened some more before saying goodbye and hanging up. He felt a huge weight lift off of him at crossing off one thing on his list. There is no doubt in his mind that Jody'll find Ben. Now, how is he going to get Lucifer out of Cas?

 **BW**

Jody hung up the phone feeling ill. She should have told Sam the truth. She chickened out. Those boys mean the world to her and telling them she lost Dean's son, they would never trust her again. She'd never see them again.

Her job is going to have to take a backseat for the time being. She's going to dedicate all her focus, outside of her girls, on locating Ben and bringing him back home.

For Dean.

And Sam.

And Claire.

And Alex.

And Logan and Maria.

But most of all, for her. She misses him just as much as her girls do. He's equal parts his dad and his uncle. Too bad she never knew his mom, Jody bets they would have gotten along great. Ben is an awesome kid. Lisa Braeden did a damn good job raising him all on her own.

"Who was that?" Alex asked. She and Claire had watched her turn pale when she saw who was calling her. "Mom? Who was that?"

"Sam Winchester. He wants me to find Ben for Dean. They just found out he's missing,. I can't tell Dean about it," Jody answered distantly.

Alex and Claire shared a look.

"Should we be worried?"

Jody shook her head. "No. That's not the problem."

"Then what is?"

"I can't keep lying to them. I'll give myself a week before I call Sam and confess everything."

Claire shifted in her seat. "Then I guess we better pool all our resources and find our wayward Winchester."

Alex nodded her head. "I think we should use the Ouji board to contact some spirits. There has to be someone out in the ether that knows who Jo is."

"Good idea," praised Claire.

Alex looked taken aback at Claire's rare words of encouragement. She blushed and ducked her head, unsure how to react or if she should say anything. She caught her mother's gaze and she looked just as shocked as Alex did but she also gave her a small smile that had Alex lighting up.

Claire ignored the two women making faces at each other and focused on the TV. A flicker of hope started to kindle in her heart. With all of them working together, they might have more of a chance finding Ben then when it was only Claire and Jody looking for Ben. And the Ouji board idea _is_ a good idea. Why didn't they think of that before? Jo is obviously a ghost or something. Find out who Jo is, and her connection to Ben, and they could possibly find Ben before Jody spills the beans to the Winchesters.

She's seen a wrathful Dean Winchester before, it'd be best not to poke that particular bear again. The nightmares she has from that encounter are still vivid and has her waking up in the middle night, drenched in sweat and a racing heart.

"We're going to find Ben this time. I can feel it," said Claire. She had this huge smile on her face. "We're going to find him."

* * *

 **Huh. I thought i wrote more than that... Man, I really need to get a new computer! Lol! One with Microsoft word and, most importantly, the word count thingymajig.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Sorry, all. I haven't had the slightest inkling to write these past couple of weeks. I'm trying though. You have no idea how many times I re-wrote this damn chapter.**

 **Well, enjoy!**

* * *

Ben felt restless, an urgency zinging through his veins. There's an itch under his skin and he has no idea how to deal with it. He can't ask Krissy because she's recuperating from a job gone awry. She's fine. She just needs a few weeks of R&R, and that is asking a lot considering their line of work. The painkillers he managed to procure for her have knocked her out but it's helping her heal faster.

He just . . . he feels like he needs to do _something_. Go somewhere. _Now._

That urge has been slowly but surely gotten harder and harder to ignore. He wants to go home so bad and ask Logan or the Sheriff what to do but what if it isn't safe to go home? He could be endangering everyone there. He won't let that be on his conscience.

This big bad, he has no idea what it is or how long it'll take for his dad and uncle to beat it, and he has no way to contact them to tell them to hurry their asses up. He wants to go home already. This whole traveling hunter thing sounds good on paper but the constant moving and scrounging for money, food and lodging is exhausting. How does his dad and uncle do it? There must be a trick to it that he or doesn't Krissy don't know about.

Oh, and the constant danger of death is a real downer. That he can do without. It's hell on his nerves. He'll have a head of gray hair by the time he's in his twenties. Or a heart attack.

A twitchy mess is what Ben'll by the time he's old enough to drink. He'd see enemies everywhere. Jumping at every little shadow and noise like he was suffering from PTSS. That is not a good life. Not for him anymore. He no longer romanticizes the hunting life. He just wants to go home.

He'll keep hunting for Krissy though. He'll do anything for her.

But what he wants is a home base. He wants to be able to go home and shrug off the Hunter and just be Ben Braeden, high school student whose biggest problems are trying to get all his homework in on time. Oh, and who to ask to senior prom. That would be Krissy, obviously, but the stress of whether or not wondering if she'd even _want_ to go would be the problem. Like, would she be mad that he had the audacity to think she'd go to something as juvenile as a high school prom or would she be mad that he thought she _wouldn't_ want to go to something normal as a high school prom?

Oh great, now he's stressing about an event that might not even happen. At least not with him being gone for almost a year. He could get his GED but that feels like he failed instead of finding another path to success. Getting kidnapped by a ghost for his safety is a fantastic excuse, unfortunately, most people don't believe in the paranormal, and would most likely send him to the psych ward instead of letting him repeat a year.

Maybe that's what he's restless for: a normal life.

Or safety.

Security.

Something permanent. Stable.

Living such a transient life, Ben feels his soul getting weary, and he's only been hunting for a couple of months! How Krissy managed for years is beyond his ken. Or even his dad and uncle.

They're like supermen. Super people? Kryptonians? The last sons and daughters of Krypton?

God, he needs to get out.

Ben quickly wrote a note for Krissy to let her know he went for a run. He doesn't want her waking up and not finding him by her side and thinking something happened to him. She shouldn't worry about him when she should be sleeping and healing from their last job, and he is a little irked that she thinks he can't handle himself without her to protect him.

A few months ago, yeah, he would have needed her help and he'd've been the first one to admit it. But now? Ben knows how to handle himself because of Krissy. He doesn't need her to protect him all the time.

Changing into his running clothes, Ben quietly closed the door behind him, and started stretching a bit before setting off in a light jog to get his blood pumping. He'd wait a mile before he really started running. He has some energy to work off. He might even go find a gym and box a bit, and then swinging by a bistro or something and pick up some food.

Krissy's been craving cheese fries so maybe he'll pick that up for her and he'll get himself disco fries. Possibly a burger as well for both of them.

There's this diner just off of main street that has the best disco fries outside of the east coast.

Ben discovered it their second night here. The food is worth the price.

Clearing his mind, Ben allowed himself to fall into the rhythm of running and let everything fall away, and when it felt like the pace he kept wasn't helping with expelling all his pent up energy, he kicked it up a notch. He ran for three miles before he all out sprinted for another mile.

He ended up on a forest trail completely lost. Not that he was worried. Krissy taught him enough to find his way back, and he remembers having the sun on his left the entire run. So, all he needs to do to get back is to keep the sun on his right and walk/jog back into town. He should be back to their hotel in an hour, maybe less. He really should have brought his watch with him.

If he's not back within an acceptable time period, Krissy will drag herself out of bed and come looking for him, and when she finds him, he'll get an earful that'll have him hearing ringing for a long, long time.

Bringing a water bottle would have been smart. Although, in his defense, he didn't expect to run for as long or as far as he did.

And the worst part? He still feels like he needs to run. To get away, to keep moving, and he doesn't know why. Hell, he's even fighting the urge to keep running...away from town. Which meant running away from Krissy.

It could be Jo trying to tell him something or it could be the Big Bad manipulating his feelings and it's herding Ben towards it. This is why Ben gets so damn pissed off when people keep things from him, and they claim it's for his own safety but, in all honesty, it leaves Ben floundering in the dark with little to no information on how to proceed. Indulging in the urge could be the right call or it could put him in the position of damsel, waiting for his dad to come save him.

Or his dad just might not come.

What if the Big Bad does manage to kidnap him, and his dad doesn't come to his rescue? What will he do then? What would be the point? He's spent this last year thinking of only of his father coming to get him so they could be a family again. What if his dad doesn't care?

...What if his dad dies trying to save him?

He can't tell Krissy this, she'll think he's an idiot, but for all she says she understands, Krissy doesn't know what it's like to be unsure of a parent's love. She knew her dad loved her unconditionally but Ben doesn't know that for sure. For all he knows, his dad was happy to leave him and his mom behind. That would explain him staying out of their lives and taking their memories away.

It doesn't matter what Jody and 'em said about his dad caring about him. Where's the proof? What exactly has his father done that showed that he gives a damn about Ben?

There could have been a number of ways for his dad to show Ben he cared without putting Ben in danger. So many. Snail mail. Email. Burner phone. Facebook. Twitter. Instagram. Anything to do with social media. You don't even have to use your name with social media.

A fucking post card would have been better than silence.

Feeling his frustration building, Ben decided to screw it, and he started running at full sprint until he collapsed just outside of town in exhaustion. The fates must have been on his side because had no real idea that he was running in the right direction instead of running further into the wilderness. Now, all he needs to do is find the energy, which he managed to work off, thank you very much - to get back up and walk the rest of the way to their motel room.

He waited for five minutes before he rustled up some energy to walk the next quarter mile to the motel room. It took Ben six tries to get the key into the slot and he was welcomed by a pillow to the head as soon as he crossed the threshold.

"Where the hell were you, Winchester?" Krissy demanded angrily. "You were gone for _hours_. God, you're such a dick, you know that?"

Ben hung his head and let her yell at him.

"I really needed to go for a run," Ben mumbled. "Just excess energy I needed to get rid of. I didn't realize how far or how long I was running. Forgot my watch and water bottle. I tried to get back before you woke up. Guess I failed on that front, huh?" he asked with a rueful smile.

Krissy was not amused. It made Ben shrink against the door and drop the smile.

"Not a good enough reason. You should have taken your cellphone," she snapped.

"True," Ben admitted, "but I just really needed to get out of here or I was going to snap. I didn't really think about anything else."

Krissy huffed, still mad at him worrying her for no good goddamn reason. He should have taken his friggin' cellphone. Dumbass.

"I'm hungry," she announced. "Go get my something to eat." At Ben's look, she added, "I mean it, Ben. It's the least you can do to make up for scaring me. I thought whatever's hunting you finally managed to nab you."

Ben winced at that. He didn't think about that scenario. Now he feels like a heel.

"Just...go get me something to eat. I'm going to rest a little bit more."

He nodded and forced himself out to the car and drove to the diner to grab Krissy some food. It's the very least he can do, and he can't walk. He won't walk. His feet feel like they're bleeding.

Within fifteen minutes, Ben is back at the motel and he's carefully closing the door behind him so he wouldn't wake up his sleeping girlfriend. He doesn't need to wake her up necessarily. She's already mad at him, she doesn't need anymore ammo to use against him, and getting yelled at again is not on his list of things he wants to happen today.

All he wants to do is to shower and sleep for the next 12 hours straight.

Ben woke Krissy up in time for her to eat and take her painkillers. The sounds she made while eating her damned cheese fries were practically orgasmic and Ben fought down a blush and focused on his disco fries. He didn't need Krissy to make fun of him for his reaction to her moaning over cheese fries.

His good deed earned Ben a thank you snuggle. They crashed out until the next afternoon, well rested and itching to get moving but they couldn't because Krissy still needed to heal. And his restlessness came back with a vengeance.

Son of a bitch.

"I'm going for a run again," Ben informed Krissy. It earned him a glare but she didn't say anything against it. She merely held out his cellphone to take, which he accepted with a grimace. He really didn't want to take it with him. It felt like a lead weight when he placed it in his pocket. It'll slow him down, tether him back here like an anchor chain, dragging him down to soul-crushing pressure depth.

An iron band wrapped itself around his chest and his hands shook ever-so slightly. He needs to run _now_.

He mumbled a quick goodbye and took off running as soon as he crossed the threshold. Ben ran a full sprint until he could no longer keep up the pace without collapsing. Slowing down to a manageable jog, Ben's mind wandered so he wouldn't concentrate on the cellphone in his pocket.

The cases they've been taking lately have been a curved line heading towards South Dakota, getting close to the state but slipping away at the last second and finding another case two to three towns away but getting closer and closer with every pass. It had Ben thinking that Krissy has been testing the spell and its boundaries. She's subtly trying to find him a way home.

Skidding to a stop, Ben felt an overwhelming wave of fondness and something more towards the huntress.

His chest heaved as he tried to slow his heartbeat down to its normal rhythm. The restlessness under his skin was forgotten while he allowed his epiphany wash over him at Krissy's actions. She's so amazing. From the second he saw her, he knew she was special.

"I think I love her," Ben admitted to the ancient woods. They creaked and groaned at him in celebration, their leaves gently rustling in the warm breeze cutting through the branches. "Holy shit."

 **BW**

Dean scrubbed his face in exhaustion. He's so tired. Every time they defeat one great evil, another pops up in its place. What's the point of saving the world when it clearly wants to end? There are only so many fires Dean can keep putting out before he hits a wall and admits defeat. Maybe the world was supposed to end back in the apocalypse days. That would explain it. Everything's gone to hell ever since Heaven showed its corrupt face and pulled him out of Hell.

The only good thing to come out of that war was Cas, and he doesn't have Cas anymore. He's the vessel for Lucifer. There's an irony there but damned if he could find it.

Sam's been trying to help but Dean can't find it in him to rally behind his little brother and continue fighting. Amara is offering rest and it's tempting to just accept and welcome oblivion. He can't though. He's a missing son to find but he can't do that until they find a way to defeat Amara and get Lucifer back into his room with Michael _without_ Cas going along for the ride.

Step one would be to get Cas to expel his big brother. Step two would be to either get Amara to stop (not likely) or to find God and get him to deal with his sister. Neither of those two steps sound easy to accomplish. Or likely to succeed.

Amara's dead set on her plan on finding God and having it out with him, and God has been AWOL for a long ass time. Coward.

Dean sighed and curled around his pillow. He hugged it close to his chest and he pressed his face into it. He's supposed to be sleeping but Morpheus is deliberately missing him in his nightly duties. He's not sure if it's on purpose or not. Knowing his luck, he and Sammy are on his shit list for killing a relative or a faithful servant in their line of work. They really do have shit luck. He blames Bloody Mary and all those mirrors they broke in order to trap and kill her.

After another twenty minutes of trying to sleep, Dean admitted defeat and got out of bed and made his way to the kitchen where he found Sam sipping tea out of a coffee mug. Sam shrugged at him and continued reading something off his laptop.

"Do you think Ben has a hard time sleeping or is it just us unlucky schmucks with sleep problems?" Dean asked mildly. Coffee or hot cocoa? He better make hot cocoa. He'd like to sleep sometime.

"He's a Braeden," Sam answered without looking up from his computer. "He's bound to have better sleep habits than us."

Dean grunted and heated up some milk before adding the cocoa powder. Grabbing two big cups, he carefully poured the hot cocoa into the mugs before walking over to the table and placed one of the cups in front of Sam, who made a happy noise in the back of his throat, earning an amused grin from Dean. He wanted to make fun of Sam for it but he didn't want to ruin whatever calm that is encompassing the room.

"Bloody Mary," Dean muttered. "I told you it was over 700 years bad luck."

Sam quirked a grin. "Then Ben is definitely doing better than we are."

Dean wiggled his head, neither agreeing or disagreeing, and hid a smile into his cocoa. "I miss him," he admitted, earning Sam's full attention. "God, Sammy, I miss him so much. I honestly hadn't really thought of him since I had Cas take his memories away. What kind of a father does that make me? Not even _dad_ did that do us. He was always aware of us even if he wasn't there all that much."

"With the kind of life we live, you can't really be blamed for letting Ben slide to the way side," Sam tempered. He closed his laptop so he could focus completely on his older brother. It's been hell trying to get Dean to open up. "It was just safer not to bring Ben back into our lives."

Dean grimaced. "I miss him. I've _been_ missing him without knowing it. Once we deal with Amara, I'm getting my son back. I'm not giving him up again."

Sam didn't look very happy about that. He knows why Sam's not liking that idea but it's his son, dammit. His son is all alone out there with Lucifer and Amara quite possibly looking for him. It'd be game over if either force managed to find Ben. He'd give in in a heart beat as long as his son is not hurt. He would drop down to his knees and do whatever it takes to guarantee his son's safety, including helping both Amara and Lucifer end the world. And he'd do it without hesitation.

He's failed Ben for so long, he won't let anything happen to him.

"I think we should find him and keep him here at the bunker. He'll be safe here. Neither Lucifer nor Amara would think we'd keep him here where they could find him." Dean felt a laugh building in his throat but he swallowed it down. Wrong time to laugh. Sam might take it the long way.

His brother sighed. Oh boy. That's not good.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Dean. It'd be too dangerous to bring Ben here."

"It's too dangerous to leave Ben _out_ there," Dean argued. "At least here we'd be able to watch over him."

"Or we could bringing him right to Amara," Sam countered. "No offense, Dean, but when it comes to God's sister, you can't really be trusted to holdout against her. I don't even think Ben could help temper her sway over you."

Stung and hurt, Dean stomped off into the library to cool down before he says or does something he'll regret. It didn't work.

How dare Sam say he'd betray Ben like that to Amara! He wouldn't. Not his son. He's innocent in all this. He'd sooner damn both of them, and it's not like they haven't been to Hell before. They could handle it.

"I didn't mean it that way, Dean," Sam apologized softly. "It's just - If we bring him here, it'll be easier for our enemies to find a way to get to us. Ben's safer with his foster parents."

Dean snorted. "Apparently not that safe. They lost him."

Sam didn't have an argument for that.

"Besides," Dean said, "he's a legacy. We need to keep the line of Men of Letters alive, Sam. Charlie," his voice broke, and it had Sam blinking back tears at the mention of their 'sister'. "Charlie would agree that we need to start tracking down other legacies. It can't end with us. It just can't. Henry, we owe him, Sam. We owe our grandfather a legacy."

Well, damn. Another argument Sam can't counter. Dean is getting scarily good at finding points he can't counter against.

"We'll bring in Claire, Jody and Alex in as well. Krissy, too. If we can find her," his brother mused with a grin. "We can start a whole new legacy. I want to leave something behind for Ben. I want him to be proud of me."

Goddammit, Sam thought. How can he argue with that? If he had a kid, he'd want to leave something behind for them too.

"You're his hero, Dean. There's nothing you do that Ben won't be proud of," Sam said softly.

"Maybe," Dean hedged. He knows he really screwed the pooch with his son. He might be like Sam and hold grudges. Lord knows Sam is still mad at their dad for some transgression that happened years and years ago. Dude does not know how to let things go. Not like Dean can talk though. Know what, the entire Winchester and Campbell clan suck at let past wrongs go. Ben might have a chance because Lisa was not one to linger on the past.

Grief slammed into his chest. God, Lisa. He could have loved her; truly loved her but his friggin' life came back to haunt him and pulled him away before he could find out. He barely got a year with his son, a year where the only thing he worried about was missing Ben's baseball games.

There is a small part of Dean that blames Sam and Cas for tearing him away from his family. He left them vulnerable, as demonstrated when Crowley kidnapped them. Dean honestly thought taking their memories away was the best thing for them. He should have kept tabs on them but he couldn't. He couldn't watch Ben from afar and watch him grow up or watch Lisa fall in love with someone else. He didn't want to watch them replace him as easily as it is to change a light bulb. He didn't want to hear Ben call someone else dad. That's _his_ title.

Or maybe he's a coward. He's already lost Sam so many times, Dean doesn't think he'd ever handle losing his son. He would happily sell his soul again to ensure Ben would live to a ripe old age without monsters or demons or angels making his life hell.

"Come on, Cas, I need you," Dean prayed. "Just come back to me."

 **BW**

Lucifer felt his left eye twitch at Dean's prayer. By his Father, he'd love to record the eldest Winchester's prayers and play them in Heaven and Hell. The angels and demons need a laugh. They don't get enough reason to do so, and hearing the Righteous Man's pleading to his little brother, his supplication for his return, would make even the most stoic angels and demons let out a chuckle.

He felt little Cassie jerk at the prayer, a brief flare of awareness, but he stamped the Seraph back down. The little shit fought back, zapping him with his grace before the archangel could send him back to his room and watch TV on the little rabbit ear set he has.

"Ow!" Lucifer hissed and sucked on his finger where little brother's grace zapped him. "You are _so_ going to regret that later."

He got the grace equivalent of the middle finger in response. Oh ho, Dean Winchester taught him well.

A reluctant grin stole its way to across Lucifer's lips. He likes his little brother's fiestiness. It's been so long since he had any real fun with his brothers and sisters, and little Castiel turned out to be a surprising bit of entertainment. He always thought his little brother was weird. He has proof of it, too. What proof? The damned rabbit ear TV set. Of all the TVs to watch cable on, he chooses one of the oldest sets there is.

Little Cassie is an odd duck. The seraph reminds him of another little brother but Lucifer quickly shoved that thought down. No. He won't be reminded of the youngest archangel.

"Go back to your damn room," Lucifer ordered, earning another middle finger. He summoned a charge from his own grace and flung it at the seraph. The little shit managed to deflect it enough where it wouldn't seriously hurt him but he still got knocked unconscious. Lucifer immediately felt less restricted. He didn't realize just how much time he spent keeping his little brother distracted and contained. Maybe he should permanently keep the seraph unconscious.

He can't though. The annoying angel knows Dean's greatest weakness and he'll be damned again if he lets Auntie Amara get to it first. Nope. He'll be the one to control the so-called Righteous Man and resident Pain-in-the-Ass, not his psychotic aunt.

Plus, he knows Sam'll do anything to keep Dean safe, including protecting whatever it is that'll make Dean cave like a wet tissue.

Claiming his rightful vessel would be the cherry on top. He never liked the fact that Frick and Frack managed to beat him and Michael. Two meat suits stopped a prophecy that was foretold eons ago. What were the odds?

He suspects his Father's hand. It's the only possible explanation.

Of course Dad finally shows his mug when the Winchesters decide to thumb their noses at prophecy. Free will and all that jazz. A bunch of bull in his opinion.

Dad's favored creations. So flawed. So egocentric. Why were they deemed better than angels, he'll never know.

Maybe Dad'll appear when he threatens his favorite humans. That'll get his attention. A grin blossomed when a thought popped into his head, of his dear aunt thinking along the same lines as him, and that's not an all too pleasant realization but it's still a funny thought. His aunt would hate it and that's what makes it so freaking hilarious.

Still grinning, Lucifer summoned a demon and had it grab a couple of its brethren to go raiding his crypts filled with Heaven's weapons. He's going to need it if he wants to kill Amara. The world is going to end on _his_ terms instead of his aunt's.

"Sleep tight, Little Cassie, for tomorrow we're going to war and then we're going to find Dean's weakness."

 **BW**

Claire felt her right eye twitch. This frat pledge doesn't seem to understand the word no, and if he doesn't stop leaning into her personal space, she will not be held responsible for her actions.

The dude bro leaned in once again, way past her personal bubble, and Claire decided enough was enough and she swung a right hook into the dumbass's face, sending him crashing to the ground, unfortunately still conscious. Damn. She must not have put enough power behind the punch. Now she's got to put up with a whiny baby about being hit by a girl he was trying to - unsuccessfully - flirt with.

His other dude bros came out of the woodwork, shooting her dirty looks as they clucked around the fallen dumbass. A bunch of mother hens.

"Maybe next time, dumbass here, will listen to a woman when she says 'no', or I could teach him a lesson now. At least that way he won't need another later on," Claire told them with a smirk. A flicker of cold triumph snaked its way through her veins when she saw their apprehensive looks.

It was easy to tell they didn't doubt her ability to do so. Claire loved her reputation at school. No one messed with her unless they want her foot up their ass and black eyes generously given out for free to any who would like to argue against her brand of justice.

Normally she would have ignored them but Claire has been itching for a fight for a while now. The frustration with coming up empty on Ben's whereabouts is disheartening, and it's starting to wear on all of them. Alex has been bitchier than normal and it's taking everything in Claire not to engage, which is why she's been looking for a fight. It's the best way to work off repressed aggression, at least in her books. Maybe not Jody's. Or anyone sane really, but it works for her.

The only thing that gave a _hint_ of Ben's whereabouts was the Ouji board. Claire kept her distance from that thing, she didn't trust it and she's watched enough horror movies to know better. Alex on the other hand, she had no problem contacting spirits.

One replied, it called itself Jo, and it told them Ben was safe.

That was it. Ben's safe. It should have been enough but it wasn't. Claire wanted to know where he was because he needed to be brought back home to them. Not out there doing god knows what.

The spirit refused to respond to anymore of their questions but it did tell them to quit messing with a spirit board. That brought them up short. It even had Jody staring at the board in slight indignation, the sight had Claire and Alex biting their lips to keep from smiling. Of course Claire was ten feet away from the board but she still saw Jody's reaction.

Ever since that single contact, Jody's been almost obsessed with finding out who Jo was. She said the name sounded familiar but she wasn't sure yet. She had been pouring over missing or dead people and she found countless names. Claire didn't know how Jody was narrowing the list down or how she knew for a fact that that Jo wasn't the Jo she was looking for. What Claire had noticed is that the women she kept as possible Jos were all blondes, throwing away anyone with different colored hair.

She hopes Jody finds out who Jo is. Claire has a few questions for the spirit.


	16. Chapter 16

**Holy crap, people! I am so, so, so sorry. I got caught up writing my original works and completely forgot about this. Don't worry, I am back and won't leave again until I finish this and my other fic _A Lost Knight_. **

**I'll shut up now and let all y'all read.**

* * *

Jo Harvelle.

That is the name of the ghost that told them Ben was safe, and who called them idiots for messing around with a Ouji board. Nice girl.

Jody pulled up Joanna Harvelle's file and Claire had been saddened to see that she died in her mid-twenties in an explosion. The town where she and her mother died was wiped out. No survivors. It had Claire wondering what exactly happened there that would wipe out an entire town. Something bad obviously.

Doing some mental math, Claire realized it happened after they found out her father was a vessel for an angel. So Jody and her mother died trying to stop the apocalypse.

An unidentifiable emotion rolled through Claire. Jo and her mother, Ellen, died and no one seemed to care. She doesn't know if Dean or his giant of a brother Sam ever did anything to memorialize them. Should she do something for them? Does it matter at this point? It was so long ago.

"Great, so we know Ben is safe but we don't know why he's gone or where he is," Alex said, clapping her hands together. She shot them a sarcastic smile. "Great progress on that front. Do you think she's the one who stole him away or at least is keeping him away?"

Good questions.

"I don't think she's the one keeping Ben away. Someone or something is blocking any attempts Ben might be making to get in touch with us. A ghost shouldn't be that powerful to do that," said Jody.

"Well, what if she attached herself to Ben? Could that be how she's keeping Ben from contacting us?" Claire asked, her eyes never leaving Jo's picture. She's pretty, Claire thought. "A poltergeist can throw people around the room, lock doors and disorient their victims. Can't Jo do something as benign as disrupting a phonecall or email to us?"

Alex frowned at that. She shared a look with Jody.

"Maybe," Jody hedged, flicking through the Harvelle's files. Not much on them. They were clean, and possibly meaning Jo just started hunting. Ellen probably started hunting too to keep her daughter safe. It's something Jody herself would have done. For either of her daughters.

"In all honesty, I don't know enough to verify and it's not like I can ask Sam or Dean without raising any flags. They know something was off with us when they visited," she said pointingly at Claire, who had the decency to blush. "Besides, Sam asked us to look for Ben without Dean knowing, and I'm scared to ask any questions that could lead to them coming here to help us with our problem. Sam'll be mad and I don't even want to think how Dean'd react to finding out we're looking for his son without his say so. That'll lead to a whole new batch of questions I don't want to answer."

Alex frowned again and asked, "Wouldn't it be best to come clean now? Dean'd be way less homicidal if we explained everything."

Claire snorted so hard a booger went flying out of her nose. Alex's face twisted in disgust while Jody howled with laughter, accidentally sending the Harvelle's files off the coffee stand and onto the floor. Claire, bright red with embarrassment, hit Alex on the shoulder and kicked out at Jody to make her stop laughing. It only served to make Jody laugh harder. Alex started to giggle and inched away from the irate blonde before full on laughing along with her mother.

"It's not funny," Claire cried. "It's not!"

Jody and Alex shook their heads, unable to speak. It only made Claire madder.

She got to her feet and stomped to her room, but before she slammed the door shut, Claire yelled out to the living room, "You know, if you tell Dean about Ben, we'll never see either of them again, right? Once Dean finds Ben, they'll be gone. Forever."

With that, Claire slammed her door shut with an air of satisfaction. That'll stop them laughing. It's not the whole truth, partial maybe, but it served its purpose at shutting them up. Sam might be able to talk Dean into letting them see Ben again. Probably in the next decade or so. There's only so much Sam can convince his brother of and having Dean let the people that lost his son have access to him? That might be a little out of his power of influence.

"Jo?" Claire called softly. "Can you hear me?" She waited a bit before continuing, "Look, I'm pissed at you for taking Ben. I'm pissed at you for setting up those so-called hauntings to lure us in, and how in the hell did you manage that anyway? I mean, just-"

Claire broke off, feeling simultaneously foolish and lighter. She listened hard to see if Jody or Alex were nearby, praying that they weren't because she has no idea how to explain why she's essentially talking to herself. Then again, her talking to a ghost would be an excuse that would hardly be considered unusual. At least, not anymore.

"Are you ever going to let him come home?" Claire asked the one question that's been on her mind for a while now. She missed him so bad. They barely got any time together before he disappeared, leaving her behind. "How did a _ghost_ set all that up? There is no way a ghost is that powerful. You had help and I want to know who the hell helped you kidnap Ben. Right now! I want him back home, and you have no right keeping him away from me - us."

Jo had no right. She wants Ben back.

Claire waited, stupidly hopeful, for a response but all she got was Jody's laugh from down the hall and Alex's muffled reply.

"Well, fuck you too," Claire mumbled, and turned off her light and went to sleep.

 **BW**

"Son of a bitch!" Krissy growled as she shook her hand to dispel the lingering tingling in her fingers. Wrong wire.

Ben looked up from the bed only to return to his book when Krissy waved off his concern. It must not be that bad if she's still not cussing out the EMF she's making, and if he's being honest, he'd really rather not stop reading his book. It's not a lore book but one he picked out from a library sale going on in Wyoming. It's called _The Lost Starship_. He likes it so far.

Science fiction has always been a secret guilty pleasure of his. He has another book called _The Second Ship_ and that one is serious about physics. So much math and computer crap.

They're taking the week off to pretend to be normal.

It's going good so far.

Ben and Krissy sat in on a couple of folklore and mythology lectures at the local university, caught up on some movies, enjoyed eating some much needed junk food, and even had a real date night. One Ben didn't embarrass himself on, and he had been pleasantly surprised that Krissy agreed to.

"Wanna go to the movie?" Ben asked once he hit a good stopping point in his book. He placed a bookmark in his spot because he's not smart enough to remember the exact page he left off on, and he tried that once and he ended up starting the book over and refused to stop reading until he finished it because he wasn't going to start the book over yet again. His mom had a laugh at him for doing that.

"No," Krissy responded without tearing her gaze from her project. "Maybe later."

"Okay."

Ben grabbed his book and continued from his spot. Darkness came before Ben even realized the dwindling light and he only noticed when he had a hard time reading his page. Krissy seemed to notice finally when she couldn't see the wires she'd been working on.

They both waited for the other to get up and turn on the light but when neither of them got up, it became a game to see who would cave first. Ben knew he was going to win. He has more patience than the other hunter.

Sure enough, ten minutes of darkness and Krissy gets up to flick on the lights. She glared at him but he merely smiled back at before returning to his book.

Another hour passes when the growling of his stomach could no longer be ignored. He placed his bookmark and closed the book, fulling intending to call for pizza when someone knocked on the door. Before he could grab his gun, Krissy is moving to the door, money in hand, and opened the door to reveal the pizza delivery man holding their supper in his hands. He smiled, exchanged the pizzas for money, tipped his red hat at them and left.

"You are a goddess," Ben told her with feeling, earning a grin and a light punch to the arm for being a dork.

They ended up cuddled on the bed watching an old movie called _Dante's Peak_. It's about a volcano in Washington and centers around a volcanologist and a family of three.

Ben can honestly say, volcanoes scare him. They're scary mofos that are unstoppable. Well, unless they have a Vulcan with advanced technology that could neutralize the magma before the volcano erupts, but since Vulcans aren't real, at least he hopes, then they are shit out of luck should a volcano erupt around them. Dear God, don't let Vulcans be real.

He can't handle dealing with aliens on top of monsters. Let alone aliens that are smarter than Sherlock and the Doctor. Or are Vulcans as smart as the Doctor? Is the Doctor smarter than Vulcans?

"What are you thinking of?" Krissy asked, reaching up and gently smoothing out his furrowed brow. Her touch had little butterflies blossoming in his stomach and he felt his face grow hot.

"Is the Doctor smarter than Vulcans?" Krissy blinked at him. "I was thinking that if a volcano goes off near us, we'd need a Vulcan to stop it with their very advanced technology. And then I thought aliens better not be real because that is just too weird to contemplate, and then I wondered if the Doctor would be smarter than Vulcans because if they are real, it'd be helpful to have an even smarter race of alien to help us."

Krissy snorted in amusement. "You've got a strange mind there, Winchester."

Embarrassed, Ben ducked his face into her hair. She chuckled and tugged his arms around her. They fell asleep like that and Ben woke up with a crick in his neck, but he smiled when he saw Krissy snuggled up against him.

A surge of affection and...love...had Ben pressing a kiss to Krissy's forehead. He eased out of bed, making sure there was a pillow under Krissy's head, and quickly changed into his running clothes. He even grabbed his phone and left a note saying where he was going. Getting yelled at again for leaving his phone behind is not something he wants to go through any time soon. Like ever.

Running only four miles this morning, Ben felt optimistic when he jogged up to the hotel they've been staying out when the hairs on the back of his neck stood up.

Instead of going to their room, he veered down an alley that looped around the hotel to a park. He used every window on the first floor to try and get a view of who's watching him but he never caught sight of them. Whoever they are, they're either really good or they're not human, and he prays they're really good. Dealing with humans is a lot better than trying to figure out what sort of creature that found them wants.

So much for their week of trying to be normal.

Ben reached into his pocket to grab his knife but came up emtpy. He forgot he's wearing jogging shorts. Son of a bitch. He's defenseless. Krissy is so going to kick his ass.

His best course of action would be to hide in the park. He's not confident in his fighting ablilties without Krissy as back up should the thing or person stalking him is a helluva lot stronger than him or has better fighting experience. Either way, Ben's not risking what little lead he has to prove something. The best thing to do would be to evade and hopefully identify his stalker.

Putting on a burst of speed, Ben ran to the center of the park before diving behind a thick bush that hopefully hid his body. He had barely got his feet tucked in when he saw two men who looked like linebackers wearing black suits came barreling into the park. They stopped a foot away from his hiding spot, swiveling their heads left and right, looking, presumably, for him. They let out a growl deep enough to make a wolf duck down and run away when they couldn't find him.

"Where is he?" Cheekbones snarled. "He was right in front of us!"

His partner, Buck Teeth, snarled back. "I don't know! He's around here though. We know that much. We need to find him or Boss is going to incinerate us." They walked passed his hiding spot only to come back, something in their hand ticked loudly when they came near him. "He's around here. The locating spell says so."

Locating spell? Fuck.

He saw Buck Teeth's eyes flash pitch black and a fission of fear spread down his spine. Demons. Oh, God. What Krissy and Jo have been worrying about has come to pass.

"What does the little bastard even look like?" Cheekbones growled in complaint. "What if we're tracking the wrong kid? What if it's not even Winchester's kid?"

"Then we're fucked," Buck Teeth said bluntly. "Just keep looking and quit bitching."

Ben barely breathed during the demons' frantic search for him. They came dangerously close to his hiding spot quite a few times, enough that Ben swore he was going to pass out from oxygen deprivation or suffer from brain damage. But God or someone else seemed to be watching over him because they didn't find him.

Snarling, the demons disappeared. One second they were there and the next they were just gone. Poof. Vanished. It'd be kind of cool if the implication wasn't so terrifying.

He waited forty minutes before crawling out from under the bush. Seeing no one around, Ben took off back towards the hotel, this time going in through the back. His phone died and he didn't know it. Hell, he didn't even know when it died or if Krissy had called or if she's out looking for him, and please god, don't let her be out there looking for him. The demons might still be out there and they could grab her to get to him. Or worse, what if they think she's his dad's kid and they take her.

Inserting his key into the reader, Ben hesitantly opened the door and found no one in the room. It didn't look ransacked. So, good?

Spotting his charger, Ben crossed the room to plug his phone in to charge. He used the hotel room landline to call Krissy's cell only for it to go to voicemail. Possibly not good. He's not going to panic yet. She's probably at the movie they said they'd go to yesterday.

Please God, let her be at the movie instead of being kidnapped by demons.

Once his phone was fully charged, Ben immediately dialed Krissy's number, a sigh of relief escaped when she picked up in an annoyed tone.

"What? I'm at the movies. It's considered impolite to be on the phone during a movie, you know."

Ben couldn't help but laugh. "I know. I was just - I was worried about you. Look, you need to come back to the - no. Wait. I'll come to you. Meet at the diner with the amazing sandwiches. Be careful," he said before hanging up.

He packed up everything they in their duffle bags and backpacks and headed out without telling the hotel management. He'll have Krissy call them later, once they're safely away without any chance of being found by the demons or cops.

Krissy was waiting for him in the diner, a cup of coffee sat in front of her, her hands wrapped around the warm mug as she looked out the window. Her face relaxed when she saw him come through the diner door. She quirked an eyerow at him carrying their bags but she didn't say anything until he sat down across from her. She pushed her coffee to him and he drank from it with a grunt of thanks.

"What happened?" she demanded as soon as Ben put the cup down.

"Demons," Ben responded bluntly. No point in dancing around. "They were looking for me. They had a tracking spell."

Krissy paled at the implication. Furiously thinking, she decided that they needed to find a way to cloak themselves from those type of things, she hadn't thought it important before because she thought Jo would warn them somehow if Ben's life would be in serious danger. They'll also need to get tattoos against demon possession, again she thought Jo would help them. She should have thought of that earlier. God, she's stupid, Krissy berated herself. The ghost entrusted Ben into her care and she's been doing a poor job of it.

"We need to go. Now."

Ben didn't even hesitate. He followed her out the door but not before leaving money to pay for the coffee and with enough left over for a healthy tip. His mom used to waitress when she first had Ben, he knows they live off tips, and he always, _always_ leaves a big tip for them. No matter how much or how little money he has.

He didn't know how, but Krissy finnagled them a ride down to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. It's a little out of their pay grade but she has to have a reason for them to go there.

"We need to go where they won't expect us," is all Krissy said when he asked why there.

Well, okay then.

Ben fell asleep halfway through the ride. Adrenaline crash.

Krissy woke him up. He stumbled off the bus, damn near hitting the ground when his legs buckled underneath him. Catching his arm, Krissy hauled him back up and tossed his duffle into his arms.

Taking in the picturesque scenery, Ben is rather thankful it's warm weather time instead of winter but he can already see leaves changing the woods around the town. Soon there will be a bite in the air that'll make it hard for them to stay outside. He figured they'd have to set up camp in the proffered campgrounds. They could afford that fee instead of a hotel or something.

It's pretty far out of the way, so maybe they could stay here for a while until Krissy figures out how to keep demons off their trail. Ben trusts Krissy's instincts and experience. She'll know what to do.

"Stay here," Krissy ordered. They're at a park with a handful of people hanging around during the late afternoon. A little squadron of toddlers and pre-schoolers, their nannies and monitors scattered about, a few yoga enthusiasts, and some grandmas and grandpas tottering along the walking paths. It's a nice day out. Relaxing. He won't mind staying here until Krissy returns.

He nodded his compliance and Krissy took off, leaving their bags with Ben.

Indulging in childish impulse, Ben hid their bags away and went to go play on the playground. He climbed all over the jungle gym, going down the slide, swinging on the swings, launching himself from the swings, and he ran up and down the seesaw, only tripping three times. Overall, he had a lot of fun while Krissy was gone. He even played with the kids, giving their nannies and guardians a break. He wore them out so by the time the nannies called it quits, there was no complaints from the kids.

He got paid with snacks and juice boxes. Awesome.

Saving some for Krissy, Ben went to the monkey bars, hauled himself up top and ate his lunch, his feet swinging like a little kid. Did his dad take him to the park when he lived with them? He wishes he can remember. Green eyes for his dad and shaggy hair for his uncle isn't really helpful but at least it's something.

Ben remembers a deep laugh when he hung upside down on the monkey bars imitating its namesake. He remembers letting himself fall down, only to be caught by strong arms and the scent of gun powder, leather, and something that reminded him of rain. Dad. He remembered being too big to be in his arms but he didn't care. He loved being with his dad. He remembers that more with anything. He loved his dad and his dad loved him, even if at his worst moments he doubted that.

In a way, something good came out of losing all his memories of his dad, because what he _does_ remember about his dad is the overwhelming love he felt from him. His dad loved him. Loves him. He just wishes his dad was here. Right now.

The funny thing is that when those demons appeared, something he'll never admit to Krissy, but he had the sudden urge to reveal himself and let the demons take him. He knows they would have taken him and bartered him for his dad or his dad's cooperation. Either way, Ben would have finally gotten to see his dad.

The sun started to set, cooling the air around the park, and turned the sky a multicolor of beautiful hues of red, gold, blue, purple and pink. When the sun went below the mountain skyline, the hightest peak cast a shadow in the clouds above.

Damn. His mom would have loved living here. Plenty of outdoor hobbies for Ben to indulge in and learn, and a small, close-knit community for his mom to feel safe in. This place would have been perfect for them.

Park lights came on one by one, and still no Krissy. Should he worry?

Still swinging his feet, Ben started humming a song he heard sometime when he was young. He's pretty sure it's Creedence Clearwater Revival. That's funny. He's hasn't listened to them in such a long time, like 'before his mom died and they moved' long time. It reminds him of his dad though. So, that's good because he needs something positive right now.

Looking up into the night sky, Ben's jaw dropped at the sight. So. Many. Stars. He's only seen a night sky like this on Instagram and Tumblr but never in real life.

Even with the lights on around the park, the stars are astounding in their luminosity and numbers. God, imagine if there was a black out right now? The amount of stars would quadruple and he would have to buy some books on astronomy because he can't not learn about the subject while staying here, especially with a night sky like this.

Ben wondered if they had a free astronomy class for the community. That'd be cool.

Not noticing the hours go by, Ben stared up at the amazing sky with wonder and awe, and it wasn't until he started yawning constantly that he realized just how late it was and there is no Krissy in sight. Taking out his phone, he fired off a text asking where she's at but the message came back saying the person's phone he's trying to contact is no longer in service.

A fission of fear started to grow in his stomach, a coldness that started making its way up his body. Where is she?

The kick of it, he has no idea where to even start looking.

Before he even shifted his weight to get off the monkey bars, someone came walking out of the shadows, heading straight for Ben with hurried steps. That made it creepier. It was like they knew he had nowhere to go and he wouldn't be able to get away fast enough.

Okay, then. Ben hopped down and grabbed his silver pocket knife out of from his back pocket. There really should be an iron pocket knife out there, too. Because sometimes silver just does not cut it.

"What do you want?" Ben demanded once the figure got within earshot.

They were short. Shorter than Ben, even shorter than Krissy. Wearing a black hoodie with the hood pulled over their eyes, Ben couldn't really tell if they were male or female or even human. All he knew is that they are short and that is not really helpful.

The man or woman raised their hand and snapped their fingers and all the lights in the park went brighter, blinding Ben. Another snap of fingers and a picnic table full of Ben's favorite foods were piled on top, along with his favorite drinks, and, if he wasn't so unnerved by the whole thing, he'd be grudgingly impressed with the set up. Plus, he's read _Hansel and Gretel_ and the story of _Persephone and Hades_. He's smart enough not to touch the food for fear of entrapment or what have you.

"I said, what do you want," Ben snarled. He brandished his knife at the person for emphasis.

The other person snorted in amusement. They snapped their fingers again and his knife disappeared from his hand like it was never there. Now terrified, Ben tried to walk backwards away from the person when he found he couldn't move.

"Oh, don't look so scared," the figure drawled lazily. They flicked their hood back to reveal blondish brown hair and whisky coloured eyes. "I wouldn't harm the child of Dean Winchester."

Ben felt something warm detonate in his chest at hearing his dad's name and remembering it longer than half a second.

"You know my dad?" he questioned excitedly, the name just starting to fade. He tried to step forward but forgot he couldn't move. "You wanna?" Ben looked to his body and the guy smirked at him but Ben felt something shift and he was able to move again. "Who are you?"

The guy tilted his head to the table and Ben moved to sit on one end while the guy sat at the other. A snap of fingers and waiters appeared, they loaded up two plates and placed them in front of Ben and the other guy. They even poured them drinks before stepping back until they were needed again. Ben found that kind of cool.

"What are you?" He rephrased.

The guy smiled. "I'm Gabriel, or Loki. Take your pick. I answer to both."

"Gabriel as in the archangel and Loki as in the god of mischief?" The man nodded. "Oookay. So, Gabriel, how do you know my dad?"

Gabriel shifted in his seat, slouching to a more comfortable position, and gesture at his cup, turning the pop into a glass of bourbon. He took a sip before answering.

"We met while he was working on a case. A trickster was causing trouble at a local college. They thought I was only a trickster. I let them believe they killed me but they had my interest. I kept tabs on them over the years, toying with them a couple more times before your dad figured out I wasn't just a trickster. He figured out I was an angel. He just didn't realize I was an archangel." Gabriel downed the rest of his drink, the glass magically refilling.

"Some bad shit went down. I 'died'." He used air quotes around the last word. "I was quite happy in my hidey-hole but someone who knew your dad came to me for help hiding you from my aunt. I agreed because, well, I owe your dad and uncle. And my aunt is a real head case and a spoiled brat," he added with a wink.

Ben grinned back. He happily ate his beef stew and fluffy biscuits while he listened to Gabriel talk about his dad.

"What about my uncle? What was he like? I can see the silhouette of tall man with shaggy hair, and I think he liked or was at least good at research."

Gabriel smiled fondly. "Oh, yeah, Sasquatch is pretty good at research, and he has shaggy hair. Good recall. What do you remember about your dad?"

"Green eyes, gun powder, leather and rain. I remember he smells like rain. Petrichor, I think it's called. I think we were happy until something happened. Something took my dad away from me and my mom, and he never came back. He's supposed to come back but he didn't." Ben forlornly stared at his food now. "Will he ever come back? I feel like I've never stopped waiting."

Gabriel lost his smile. He leaned forward and waited for Ben to look at him.

"I don't know. Maybe your dad will come back for you or maybe he'll redo the memory spell again. Who knows? But I personally think he won't let you out of his sight again."

Ben wished he could believe him. He really did.

Instead of replying, Ben focused on finishing the really good food in front of him, even pocketing a few non-perishables for Krissy to eat later. He had more questions but he's not sure which ones are important or which ones are nonsensical.

"What's after me? What is this big bad?"

"Ah, the big bad is my dear aunt Amara. She's God's sister," Gabriel answered with a grin. "Your dingbat dad and dumbass uncle let her out of her cage because they're selfish idiots. Now that she's out she has two things she wants to get done. 1) getting your dad to join her because they are 'Connected', and 2) she wants revenge against my dad for locking her up in the Nothing."

Oh, joy. God's sister is after him. Out of all the creatures that he thought was after him, God's sister was not one of them. Hell, he didn't know God even had a sister.

"Is there anybody else coming after me?" Ben asked, hoping the answer is a resounding no. But...

"Lucifer, my big dick of a brother is looking for you as well. He knows how to get to Amara is through Dean and to get to Dean is to find you and use you to make Dean do his bidding. That's why Amara is looking for you. Dean won't go to her unless she either has you or she's gotten rid of you. Dear Aunt Amara doesn't like to share. Just ask Dad."

Ben sighed loudly. Well, that explains one thing.

"Is she the one who's been calling out to me at night. I haven't heard it lately but before - before I would hear someone calling for me, not my name, but it was like I _knew_ they were looking for me," Ben said. He frowned, unsure if he explained it properly.

Gabriel's brows furrowed in thought. "Maybe," he hedged, "but I can't say for sure. It could have been Amara or it could have been Lucifer. Or maybe it was someone else. Your dad and uncle have made a lot of enemies over the years. It could be anyone or anything looking for you to get to you dad and uncle. Probably your dad but I wouldn't count out you being used against your uncle as well."

"Can I talk to Logan and Maria?" Ben asked, crossing his fingers in the hope that the archangel would say yes.

But alas.

"Sorry, kiddo," Gabriel said with a sympathetic look. "It's too big a risk. Amara may not know about you being in foster care but she might know about Jody Mills. Lucifer, too."

Ben deflated. His chest hurt and his eyes burned. He wanted to go home with Krissy by his side.

"Can I get in contact with my dad? Can I send a letter or an email or even a telegraph?"

Gabriel shifted in his seat and snapped his fingers for the waiter to appear. He had a bottle of a honey brown liquid and poured it into the archangel's cup. Gabriel gestured to Ben and the waiter brought the bottle to Ben and poured a little bit into a new glass that appeared without Ben noticing. The angel really doesn't mean for him to drink it, does he?

"Drink it," Gabriel ordered as he downed his in one go, and apparently he did mean for Ben to drink the alcohol. Ben copied him and immediately started coughing up what felt like his left lung.

Smirking, Gabriel held his glass out and their waiter poured some more. Ben waved the guy off when he held the bottle out for him. Hell no he ain't drinking that again. It's smoky. Really smoky and it's a little too strong for Ben to handle right now. The waiter reached onto the table and got him a jug of red juice to help wash the flavor away.

Ben downed it in one go and held the glass out for a refill and downed that one as well.

"Gah!" Ben groaned in disgust. "Never again," he vowed, earning an amused chuckle from Gabriel.

"Are you sure you're Dean Winchester's kid?" the archangel teased. "Your dad was probably downing tequila shots like a pro when he was your age. Then again, he basically raised himself and your uncle, so, we'll give him some leeway there."

The young hunter blinked at that. His dad raised his uncle? He didn't know that. Or did he? At some point probably.

"Don't think I didn't notice you didn't answer my question," Ben pointed out. He took another drink of his Moutain Dew. The waiter refilled it and handed Ben another plate full of food. "I'm going to get fat sitting here with you. What are you trying to do? Put me in a food coma so I'd stay out of trouble?"

Gabriel got a speculative look in his eyes and Ben shook his finger at him.

"No. No. Absolutely not. Get that out of your head right now," Ben ordered with a glare. "I mean it. Archangel or not, I will find a way to kick your ass."

The bark of laughter from the all-powerful being had Ben rearing back at the unexpected sound.

"Oh yeah, you're Dean's kid," he chortled. "Definitely take after your father and uncle."

A blush worked its way across Ben's face and he ducked his head bashfully but he had a pleased smile. He liked knowing about his similarities to his dad. And he also liked knowing the differences too. That he's a blend of both his parents.

Gabriel calmed down and thought over Ben's request. It really wouldn't hurt anything for Ben to write a letter to his dad and it's not like it'll be hard for Gabriel to magick it into the Impala without being seen. Hell, Gabriel can find the Impala blindfolded in a hurricane. Dean's essence is all over that car. It's like a beacon if one knows how to find it and follow it, and Gabriel knows how to do so. Also, he may have left a little locating sigil on the car for him to find should he need Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum later on.

Of course, that was before he "died". He can't reveal his secret. This new life he concocted for himself won't be ruined by the Winchesters but he's starting to like this baby Winchester. Maybe he'll keep in contact with this one once he's done with his current job.

Call him a sap but . . . a snap of his fingers had a nice, thick piece of paper and an old school pen appear in front of Ben.

"You got ten minutes then me and whatever you have on that paper will be gone," he informed the youngest Winchester. "Write. Write embarrassing, mushy things that'll make your dad blush and rub his neck while he battles his uncomfortableness with reading something that emotive."

Ben laughed but dutifully started writing his letter to his dad and uncle.

The sound of a pen scritching on expensive paper filled the area around them while the waiter cleaned up and put leftovers in containers for Ben to eat later. They were meticulously stacked inside a brand new duffle bag that appeared in a puff of smoke that Ben suspects was for his benefit. A wink from Gabriel confirmed it.

Allowing another minute for Ben to finish up, Gabriel looked up to the starry sky and allowed his mind to wander back to the Apocalypse, of his dickheaded brothers who refused to see another way, and of the Winchesters refusing to follow the script. He had been so annoyed and irritated with them that even _he_ had a hard time listening to Frick and Frack explain that there actually _was_ another way that didn't include half the Earth being incinerated in the process. If he had, at first, maybe they wouldn't've had to lose Sam to the Pit.

Things went bad after that. Who would have thunk that? Things went bad _after_ the Apocalypse, after Michael and Lucifer were caged in the Pit. It should have been Mardi Gras, not Leviathans.

Or those tablets being found out (stupid Metatron), or Metatron trying to move above his pay grade (Metatron, you dumbass) or Dean taking the fucking Mark of Cain or the stupidity that came from that action. Frick and Frack really screwed the pooch by letting Aunt Amara out of her prison.

If Dean didn't have a kid, then Gabriel would be quite happy in his little hidey hole way off of the beaten path with his illusions and not worrying at all about the Winchesters.

"I'm done," Ben informed the archangel, a slight blush on his face.

Gabriel grinned. "You got all mushy, didn't you?" Ben only blushed harder. Damn. This kid is adorable. "That's good. Now you put things in there to prove it's you, right? Your dad won't believe this is you if there is no reference to something only known to him and you. Now, I know you don't remember your dad, at least not completely or with any real detail, but you said you remember green eyes and shaggy hair for you dad and uncle.

"But please tell me you wrote some of those things you remember down. Otherwise your dad will not believe a word that you just meticulously wrote down for the past fifteen minutes and throw away the letter. All that hard work will be thrown in the trash," Gabriel advised as sagely as he could. Ben looked seconds away from decking him.

Oh, yeah. He is definitely related to Sam and Dean.

"I did not," Ben admitted through clenched teeth. Mad that he didn't think of that.

"Fine, you have fifteen more minutes then I'm gone. Hot chocolate," he told the waiter. The waiter took a sideways step and disappeared. Ben's mouth dropped open in a moment of pure 'Wow'.

Gabriel hid a grin at his reaction.

A snap of the fingers and a new expensive paper appeared in front of Ben. The teen shot him a smile of thanks and got to work on his second letter to his dad.

"Should I include something about my uncle?"

"Do you remember anything specific about your uncle? Any powerful emotions?"

"Not really. At least not positive ones."

"There's your answer then, kid."

Ben hummed and carefully wrote down what he remembers and to let his dad know just what he thought of the memory wipe he and his mom were subjected to. Hesitating, he thought about asking Gabriel if he should write about living a year on his own without knowing he had a dad out there letting him think he was alone. He'd probably say he should.

But Ben is reluctant to do that. He's still his dad and he acted out of fear and an instense desire to protect Ben and his mom from harm. From his life of monsters and angels and demons.

He gets it now. He really does. Being mad at his dad about that is stupid and a waste of energy but its still something he can't help but feel.

Feeling Gabriel's assessing eyes on him did not help but he managed to write his letter without anymore problems or hesitations. He absently drank the hot chocolate, it probably tasted delicious but Ben had been too focused on his letter to give it his full attention. He'll apologize to the waiter once he's done. Maybe even ask for another drink to give his honest review.

A shift of the wind brought cold air into their little bubble, reminding Ben that Krissy has been gone for hours without contact.

Scribbling his signature, Ben all but shoved the letter at the archangel, his leg bouncing as adrenaline spread out through his body at the worry over his missing girlfriend. He's praying that Gabriel will help him find her before the archangel takes off to wherever he's been hiding.

Gabriel scooped up the letter, magicked an envelope and wrote a name on it that Ben assumed was his dad's name because the name immediatly went blurry. He got up, the table disappeared as soon as he got to his feet.

"No, wait," he cried. "I need to thank the waiter."

The archangel tilted his head at him with a look Ben didn't know how to interpret. He snapped his fingers and the waiter appeared, unruffled and professional. He turned to look at Ben, his gaze attentative as he waited for Ben to ask or say what he wanted to, and looking the man in the face, Ben's words failed him and a blush blossomed on his face. He decided to act instead of say what he wanted.

The waiter stiffened at the unexpected contact but a nod from Gabriel had him hugging Ben back. He knew from the archangel why Ben wanted him here, and despite knowing that he won't be returning, he felt a warmth in his chest.

Once they disengaged, the waiter disappeared in a wisp of smoke, and Ben felt a flash of sadness.

"You hugged and feel sadness over an illusion," Gabriel felt compelled to point out. Ben launched the pen he still had in his hand at the archangel, hitting him squarely between the eyes.

Laughing, Gabriel bowed at the young hunter and vanished between blinks.

"Ben!" a familiar voice shouted in panic. Ben whipped around to see Krissy looking for him by the picnic bench where she left him and their luggage. She had bags full of supplies in her hands. So, that answers the question of where she was.

"I'm here!"

Krissy turned to the sound of his voice and a look of absolute relief crossed her face and the bags fell to the ground as she ran to him. Ben immediately opened his arms and swung Krissy around when she launhed herself into his embrace. Peppering his face with kisses, Krissy allowed herself to cry a little bit at finding Ben still here instead of stolen by the Big Bad.

"Don't do that!" she yelled once he put her down. She punched him hard on the arm. "Where the hell were you? I told you to stay put!"

Ben caught her flailing arms. "I didn't leave the park and our stuff is still here. I'm fine."

"Where were you?" Krissy demanded. Her chest heaved while she battled to keep from full out sobbing. She's losing.

Guilt welling up, Ben pulled her back into his arms and he held her until Krissy grappled for control over her emotions. He rocked them back and forth, making soothing noises.

"I swear I didn't leave the park," he told her. "Never even stepped on the sidewalk."

Hiccupping, Krissy snuggled closer to Ben, her arms wrapped around his waist, and her face firmly tucked into the crook of his neck. Ben pressed his cheek against the top of her head in a gesture of comfort while simultaneously assuaging his own guilt over his conversation with Gabriel. He doesn't want to tell her about him. He doesn't know how she'll react to an archangel essentially stopping time to have a chat for some reason Ben really didn't think to ask during the moment.

"I didn't notice anything wrong," he lied. "I stargazed the entire time. Where were _you_?"

"Finding supplies," came the muffled reply. "I found us a place to stay as well. Some of the rentals around here need people to check-in on their properties. This dude who helps with that said we can stay at one of the properties for a week, as long as we don't trash it and we check on the other places as well. We can do that."

Oh. Ben is genuinely in awe of the resourcefulness of Krissy. Her dad must have been one hell of a mentor for her to always find a place to stay or food to eat or money to travel. He wondered if his dad and uncle ever imparted any of their knowledge to her, too?

He's kind of jealous.

"Let's go to bed. Where are we staying?" Ben asked after a beat of mutual silence. He felt Krissy nod and he slowly let her out of his arms, reaching up and gently swiping away a few marauding tears before kissing her in a chaste, sweet kiss that had her sighing against his lips when he pulled away.

Krissy grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together, leading the way back to their bags and to their new residence for the next week.

 **BW**

Dean blinked when a letter fluttered down the winding steps of the bunker, somehow slipped under the air tight seal of the bunker door. An impossibility and yet...

Slowly, Dean got up from the library table to the entryway where the letter landed on the war room map. On the United States, near the midwest. Whatever it is, it can't be good and at least he knows it's not from Amara or Lucifer. They wouldn't send a letter when they could send body parts or appear to him and only him.

It's not from Cas, not unless Lucifer took another vessel, but that is highly unlikely.

Picking up the letter, Dean saw his name scrawled on the envelope in an unfamiliar script and handwriting. Whoever wrote his name is super fancy with their writing. But who?

"Read the letter, dumbass," he chastised himself.

Tearing open the letter, Dean pulled thick, expensive parchment out to see who wrote a damn _letter_ to him.

 _Hey, Dad._

The letter fell to the floor in shock.

Ben.

* * *

 **Ta da! Ben's finally got in contact (kind of) with Dean!**

 **Thank you so much for sticking with me. I'll be back with the next chapter in a week's time.**


	17. Chapter 17

Dean stared at the letter like it was something dangerous and could blow up at any second. He hadn't told Sam about it. He couldn't. This is something meant only for Dean. It has nothing to do with Sam.

And yet he has this intense urge to show the letter to his little brother just to see if it's real. Confirmation from Sam would lay his mind at ease but the mere thought has Dean feeling guilty about sharing something this important with someone else. It's stupid, he's well aware, but he just can't shake the feeling.

He's only read two words of the letter and that's "Hey, Dad", but he knows it's from Ben. He knows his son's handwriting as well as his own and Sam's.

There's a music box in his closet buried deep so Sam wouldn't find it. It's filled with mementos of his time with Lisa and Ben. Pictures, notes, letters, artwork that he couldn't make himself give up. He hasn't looked at them since he put them in there for safekeeping. Especially the pictures of his once family, a family he gave up for Sam and Cas, and seeing their happy and smiling faces staring up at him...he doesn't think his heart could handle it.

Leaving them behind with no memories of him had been the best option at the time. It more than likely saved their lives but it doesn't take away the pain of Ben growing up without him or Lisa moving on from a memory that never came to fruition, not matter how hard they reached for it.

The letter lay on top of his bed-stand, mocking him for being a coward at his inability to read the contents within, and maybe he is a coward, but he has a feeling whatever his son wrote will undoubtedly destroy him. It wouldn't matter if all Ben wrote is that he's fine. The fact of the matter is that Ben is out there without Dean to protect him.

Maybe Sam is right about just finding Ben and sending him back to wherever he lived before. It'd be safer but he's also not wrong about wanting to leave behind a legacy Ben would be proud to be a part of.

Sighing, Dean let his head thunk against the wall he's leaning against. He's currently sitting on the floor, back against the wall, knees pulled to his chest, his arms sitting atop them, and a headache blooming in the corner of his eye. He had thought about getting up and grabbing a beer for some liquid courage but he couldn't make himself actually leave his room.

Sam woke up and went for his morning run, came back, showered, and cooked breakfast for himself in the time that Dean sat on his floor like a coward. Thankfully, Dean had the wherewithal last night to close and lock his door. Sam had knocked on it earlier to see if he was alive and was happy when Dean grunted at him.

He left Dean alone.

 _Hey, Dad._

God. Two little words and Dean loses all courage.

Thumping his head against the wall again, this time harder, Dean pushed up off the ground and stormed towards the bedstand. His hand hovered over the mocking letter.

He can do this. He can read his son's letter. He can.

Hand faltering and pulling back, Dean growled to himself and went back to his spot on the floor.

Okay. Not yet.

"Dean, you gonna come out any time soon?" Sam asked from the other side of the door. He can see Sasquatch's shadow pause in front of his room. "You're still in there, right? You didn't run off to Amara, or Lucifer didn't somehow steal you away?"

Snorting, Dean shook his head in mock despair over Sam's overreaction then answered, "I'm still here."

A soft sigh of relief is Dean's only indication over how worried Sam had been. Oh. Well, shit.

"I'm good, Sammy. Just - I'm just tired is all," he admitted truthfully. He heard Sam shuffle his massive feet, and Dean would bet money that he has his hand resting on the doorknob, internally debating about invading Dean's privacy to offer comfort and a sympathetic ear. And Dean's appreciative. He is. But this thing, Sam has no experience dealing with. How can he possibly know what it's like to get a letter from a lost child, possibly begging for help or answers? How can Sam possibly know what it's like to abandon a child?

Everything's piling up and they're _losing_.

Dean can't think straight around Amara, Cas is the fucking vessel to the Lightbringer himself, and Sam is the only one still standing and has the will to keep going. Cas gave in. Why shouldn't he?

"I just need to rest, Sam. I'll be good tomorrow."

Sam sighed again but he moved away and stomped down the hall to his room. At least his little (ha!) brother believes him for now. Don't know how long that'll last.

Dean closed his eyes and waited for his courage to gather. The letter lay silent and bereft on the bedstand, unread.

It took Dean another week before he worked up the courage to hold the letter, his fingers lightly tracing over Ben's words. A wave of nostalgia washed over him quickly followed by crushing melancholy, Dean had to blink back tears and lean against the wall to keep from falling to the ground at the almost forgotten sting of paternal failure.

He wondered if his dad ever suffered from the same pain.

Sam had been asking what's wrong with him but Dean brushed off his concern, unwilling to share this aspect of his life. There is still a part of him that is mad at Sam for taking him away from his family, even though he knows Sam couldn't be blamed for it. It's not like they hogtied him and threw him in the back of their car to get him back with them. Sam wasn't right and Dean had to find out what because he just couldn't turn that part of him off, the part that's been ingrained in him since Mom died: He had to take care of Sammy.

And then it just went downhill from there.

How can Ben ever forgive him? Sam never forgave their dad. How can he expect Ben to forgive him when he did something far worse than Dad ever did? Dad never took away their memories and left them vulnerable without an ounce of training to protect them from what it is they hunt.

That's why he's afraid to read the letter. Reading condemnation would destroy him far worse than what Alistair ever did to him. If Alistair had known about Ben, he would have broken long before the 30 years it took the demon.

Sitting on his bed, Dean held the letter in his hands. It's open but his eyes keep glazing over in an attempt to save him from potentially harming his psyche.

Taking a deep breath, Dean shook his head to clear it and focused on the letter.

 _Hey Dad,_

 _I guess I should write something profound and from the heart like I've been told to, but the only thing I got on my mind and what's taking me so long is one question: When are you coming home?_

 _The memories I have are sketchy at best but I have one, a feeling really, and it's that I've been waiting a long time for you to come home, Dad. It's like I'm in a cave with really good acoustics and the words are bouncing back in the wrong place and distorted all to hell but I think you promised you'd come back to me and Mom. What happened? Why didn't you come home? Why am I still waiting for you?_

 _This big bad, Amara, are you close to defeating her yet?_

 _An ally of yours, they said that I should make this as mushy as hell to embarrass you and to, I think, hurt you. A punishment maybe. I don't know, but I think I've made it mushy enough for them to let me write the rest of the letter without making you feel bad. At least I hope._

 _I'm okay. Relatively safe. I've been hunting, believe it or not. I have a partner. They've been helping me learn how to protect myself. I've also learned from others but I don't think it'd be wise to tell you who they are. I don't want them in trouble and I don't want to distract you from beating God's Sister. I mean, wow, Dad. God's Sister. Is that normal for you to be fighting this type of bad guy? If it is, no wonder you haven't come to get me yet. (That's not a shot, I swear.)_

 _This ally, they said that Lucifer is looking for me as well, and that he's going to use me to get to you. I can admit I'm scared. A lot scared but I know you'll beat them. You're a hero, and heroes rarely lose, but then again, a hero's story is always tragic with family dying to build their character and to further the plot. I hope that isn't a part of your story, Dad._

 _I..._

 _I miss you, Dad. It's not the kind of full on "pain and melancholy" miss you but the more "I'm starting to remember you and Uncle a little bit and it's starting to hurt" kind of miss you. So, maybe a little pain, I guess._

 _And, before I wrap this up, I need to tell you I know about Castiel being the one to take my memories away. Mom's too. I'm guessing on your orders. To protect us, right? Something bad happened and you thought it was the only way to protect us, and you were right. God's sister and favored son haven't found me because of that action, oh, and a little bit of magic and a tattoo. I got a tattoo. That's okay, right? It's okay that I got a tattoo that protects me from demon possession? My hunting partner assured me that's what it's for._

 _Oh, you should send up a prayer to Jo and thank her for getting me out of the bad guys' radar. She's awesome._

 _Tell Uncle I said hi and that I hope I get to meet him, hopefully with my memories intact. (Yes, that one was a shot and a massive hint all in one.)_

 _...Just - Just don't forget about me, okay, Dad? Beat the bad guys, save the world, and...and come home to me. I wanna be a family again. I have these feelings that hint of us being happy once, before you left and before I forgot you. I want that again. Please?_

 _At least give me my memories back. If that's all you can do, I'll be happy with that._

 _Your ally is pointingly tapping their expensive (? Maybe?) watch, I better wrap this up. They've been more than generous. I got to remember you name longer than a second, and that is the best gift I have ever gotten in a long, long time. Even as I'm writing this, your name is already fading from my mind. What you look like, sound like...hell, what you smell like, an odd thing to wish for, I know, but it's all a part of you and...I don't know. Just come home, Dad._

 _I love you,_

 _Ben_

Dean read the letter then he read it again and again and again. He didn't notice the tears that started to fall down his face and onto his son's words penned in ink that won't smudge, no matter how much tears fall onto them. A pressure in his chest started to build and make its way up to his throat, trying to get past his teeth and out into the open. He can't let it out. He's too afraid of what it might be.

Clenching his teeth, Dean felt his body start to shake even as his hands carefully held the letter in his hands, afraid he'll rip it.

Powerful emotions wracked his body and he tasted blood from biting his lip to keep from making a sound, Sammy can't know. The pressure pressed hard against his rib cage and his hands started to shake as well. He allowed one hand to let go of the letter but he couldn't make his other hand place it on the bed-stand for safety. He can't let go. It'd be like letting go of Ben a third time.

He knows the irrationality of the act but, fuck. He can't let his son go again.

His free hand clenched into a fist as he brought it up to his mouth to bite down on. He only succeeded on spreading blood from his bleeding lip. He bit down harder as the pressure swelled again. His throat ached with keeping it at bay but it's a losing battle.

There's only one course of action.

Dean shot forward, still taking special care with The Letter, and slammed his door shut with a loud bang and immediately locked it, knowing Sam heard the slam and will come running. This has nothing to do with Sam. He has every right to lock him out.

The shaking spread to his legs and he crumpled to the ground as if they were made of Jell-O. The pressure finally won and a loud wail broke out and it kept on going until Dean started to worry about passing out from a lack of oxygen. He dimly heard Sam pounding on his door, demanding to be let in and asking what's wrong. Even if Dean had the wherewithal to respond, he couldn't. Words that were needed to explain are trapped behind the hiccuping sobs that took over after the never-ending wail.

The pressure in his chest didn't let up. It kept pushing up, forcing out everything he's kept bottled up over Ben's and Lisa's fates that he had no hope of ever locking it up again.

In the back of his mind, Dean knew this was a good thing. He was finally letting out his grief and guilt over them but another part of him is terrified. He's kept that weight for so long that he won't have any idea what to do with himself once it's all gone. It's a part of him that he doesn't want to lose, as messed up as that is.

Dean lost track of time but when he was able to finally take in a deep breath to his oxygen deprived body, a different type of weight settled on top of him and between one breath and the next, darkness crashed over him like a tidal wave and he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

 **BW**

Sam's heart threatened to beat out of his chest and start running from all the adrenaline being pumped through it. It's been six hours since the horrible sounds of his brother crying stopped. He's too afraid to leave the door. It'd feel like he'd be abandoning his brother in his time of need. Which is stupid but damn if Sam can make himself move away from his position of sentinel, protecting his brother from God knows what.

Whatever caused his brother's breakdown would have to go through him and like hell is Sam going to let it pass without fighting with everything he's got. Not even Amara would get passed him.

God, he needs Cas. They both do, but the angel has that touch about him that gets Dean to let his walls down for the angel to see what's wrong and attempt to fix it. And vice versa. They're a matched set, a bond forged from the fires of Hell, the blinding light of Heaven, and the wildness of Purgatory. The only thing to break it is themselves, and even that proved difficult.

No matter what the other did, all was forgiven in the end.

Even this, of Cas saying yes to Lucifer, will be absolved without hesitation from his brother. Him too. They've all been through too much to let things like that fester. They'll have a fight and then everything will be good again.

Another surge of adrenaline rushed through him at the thought of them might not getting Cas back, of the thought of Dean losing the part of himself that Castiel holds in his heart and soul, and Sam has to rub a hand over his chest in an attempt to soothing his racing heart. This can't be good with his heart still pounding like this. He should rest.

Dean'll be out for another couple of hours, judging by how long that wail lasted. Shuddering at the memory, Sam laid down on his side, tucking his arm under his head as a makeshift pillow.

They need to talk, that's a given, but Sam isn't sure he wants to know what caused Dean to lose it like that. Anger, explosive anger, that Sam can handle. He's used to it. It's what Dean does. But crying like that? Like his heart got pulled from his chest and lit on fire in front him. It's something new and Sam can't fight the small tinge of fear that Dean's hit his breaking point and he'll actively seek out Amara.

He'll need to call Jody and see how her search is going. The only thing to break Amara's sway over his brother is Ben. It has to be. There's not a whole lot of options. Ben's their best bet.

Guilt reared up and sucker punched him in the stomach.

Some uncle he is. He only wants to see Ben to keep his brother from doing something colossally stupid and world ending.

...Or self-sacrificing.

Playing martyr. It's probably his turn anyway, Sam thought ruefully. Maybe there was some truth to Dean's words last year. Maybe they do make things worse by putting each other first, refusing to let one another go. Case in point, look at what happened with the Mark and Dean killing Death because he refused to kill Sam. Amara came out of that action.

The world would probably be safer for Ben if Dean had carried through and killed him. Dean'd be out in the Void forever while he (hopefully) languished in his own personal heaven, waiting for Ash to find him.

Sighing, Sam closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind so he could sleep.

 _I'm sorry, Ben. I swear I'll be a better uncle after me and your dad clean up this mess._

 **BW**

Claire stared up at her ceiling, her mind deliberately blank as she laid on her bed. Jody and Alex have been asleep for the past hour and she's still awake. Wide awake. Counting sheep didn't help. Going over her knowledge of handling ghouls didn't help.

There's something coming, she can feel it, and it's bad. Something bad is going to happen and Ben will be out there on his own without her and Jody to protect him from it, because mark her words, that something bad is coming for him. It's the Winchester way. If it's bad, powerful and dangerous, then look for a Winchester because it'll be after them.

Jody'll tell her it's all in her head but she knows it's not.

A statue bleeding, massive craters appearing out of nowhere but some people claim that they saw a bright light before the craters appeared, and a powerful sonic boom that threatened to shatter every window in the Western hemisphere. That all can't be run of the mill creatures and demons and ghosts and angels. No matter what Jody says. It has to do with Sam and Dean and whoever they're fighting this time, and whoever it is is _powerful_. Enough for Claire to be completely terrified for her missing partner and friend.

They could have been more, Claire knows this. If Jo hadn't've taken him then they would be, but now all Claire cares about his him coming home safe and unhurt. She just wants him home.

So much for keeping her mind blank, she thought wryly. That lasted a whole minute.

Rolling onto her side with her arm tucked under her head, unknowingly matching Sam's position in the bunker miles away, but both thinking about a certain lost Winchester.

"We'll find you, Ben. I don't want your dad going all Mark of Cain again on me. That was terrifying the first time. I don't think I can handle an encore. I have a feeling your dad could scare the devil himself when it comes to harming or threatening his family," Claire said aloud. There's no one to hear the one-sided conversation anyway. No judgment or pity or sympathy, but it makes her feel better all the same.

"Alex hasn't dated anyone since that vampire douchebag. You would have enjoyed beheading him. It was very therapeutic for the both of us. I haven't been going to college. I think at this point I should just drop out and try again next year. Jody's not happy about that."

Claire curled into a tighter ball on her bed.

"I don't think she'll understand that I don't want to go to college without you, you know? We used to talk about going to the same college and going hunting on the weekends. That was _our_ plan, and now? I can't bare going to class without you. My first year hasn't been great. It's not the same or even to close to how we envisioned it would be. Granted, there is a certain freedom about choosing your own schedule, but I need you here, Ben."

And it's a truth. That particular Winchester means a lot to her. If Claire could go back in time and not be such a bitch to him, she would, without hesitation. If she could show or even say just how much his friendship meant to her...she would.

"G'Night, Ben," she whispered to the room, hoping that somehow her words would drift to her missing friend to let him know she's thinking about him.

 **BW**

Castiel sighed and hunched over his tiny rabbit ear set, fiddling with the set until the fuzzy screen quit being so fuzzy. Guilt gnawed at him but he ignored it, mentally locking it in the bunker dungeon, next to the locked door that housed any knowledge of Benjamin Winchester. Lucifer has yet to break the warding he put on them. The one memory just after he took away Benjamin's memories, is all that his big brother got, and even that memory had been heavily warded and edited.

He's still smarting from when Lucifer broke through the wards. He still has a slight headache from the action.

Something big is going on though. Lucifer has been leaving him alone, effectively locking him in his room, so to speak, and his attention is turned towards finding Dean's weakness and finding a way to beat Amara. Those two goals aren't exactly related.

Lucifer wants to find Dean's weakness so he can inflict pain on the Winchesters for thwarting him and locking him back up in the cage, and what's the best way to completely destroy Sam and Dean? Kill one of their family members in front of them. An innocent. Not that Lucifer knows that it's a family member he's after but when he finds out that who he's looking for is Dean's _son_ \- Castiel can't imagine what he'll do to Benjamin.

As for Amara, if he gets rid of her, he'll have domination over everything. There's no demon or angel powerful than him to stop him.

Father showing up now would be great. He could save Benjamin, send Lucifer back to his cage with Michael, and he could balance out everything that went wrong with one raised eyebrow. Dean could have a family without fear of anything coming after them, Sam could forge his own life without bring drawn back into just hunting, and Castiel could finally rest. Be it with Sam and Dean or up in Heaven. He'd prefer the former if he's being honest.

He's lost track of time. He has no idea how his Winchesters are doing or even Benjamin. What's going on outside his vessel is a mystery and he's too much of a coward to find out. What if Dean is standing front of him, begging for him to stop Lucifer from killing him, and he can't save his Righteous Man? Or worse, what if Sam is telling his big brother yes so he'd vacate his current vessel? Probably thinking Castiel would figure a way to expel the Devil from his rightful vessel, like last time, and that worked out so well for them, didn't it?

Snorting, Castiel ate a snack from the cupboad, dropping his sandwich when he heard a voice called out his name. A familiar voice. The one being in the whole universe that he can't resist answering is calling for him.

 _Dean._

* * *

 **So, this was done last Sunday but I got snowed in. They dug me out Tuesday, I got groceries and other supplies, forgot to post the chapter, and then I got snowed in (also Tuesday) again. I was gonna post it yesterday but that meant driving instead of hitching a ride, and I am not the most confident driver in good weather let alone bad, and I basically don't drive in the winter, too chicken. ;) Thank my brother for coming out to get me and letting me use his wiffy to post this.**

 **Next chapter is almost done. Dunno when I can post it. There's another storm coming. Cross your fingers that it won't be as bad as the last one.**


	18. Chapter 18

_It's the bottom of the 9th, no one on base, and it's two outs. His Little League team are tied with their long time rivals, the Pirates, and if Ben hits a homerun, they win, and he has to hit the homerun because Mitchy Clarke is after him and he can't hit the broadside of a barn. It's all on Ben's shoulders._

 _His mom is cheering loudly from the bleachers, warmth shoots through him at the sound of her voice, but it doesn't take away the nerves. Not until a deeper voice on his right speaks up. He turns to see his dad smiling encouragingly at him, his voice barely louder than his speaking one. Drawing him in, forcing him to listen closely._

 _"Breathe, Ben. You can do this. You have done this. This is easy for you. Don't think. Breathe, and swing," his dad told him._

 _His dad is wearing his team's baseball shirt, the one Ben got for his dad as a present. It has Ben's number on it, number 13. He's even wearing their team's baseball hat. His dad has the biggest smile on his face, his green eyes seem to dance with utter delight at being here with him, watching Ben's team fight for their place in the championship game._

 _He can do this._

 _Readjusting his grip, Ben crouched lower and waited for his pitch. He knows Richard Meisner favors the high fastball, and if Ben can get him to throw a slider, a pitch he can hit with ease, Ben can send it over the fence._

 _Ball one._

 _He'll have to switch it up after the second or third bad pitch. For once, Ben is happy he hasn't hit his growth spurt just yet._

 _Ball two._

 _One more than please change up._

 _Ball three, and a time out._

 _Ben relaxes out os his stance and takes a couple of practice swings as the Pirates Coach and catcher talk to Meisner, telling Meisner he needs to change it up. Please no curve balls. They quit talking and Ben enters the box again._

 _"Breathe and don't think," his dad says._

 _Taking a deep breath, Ben swings, and he felt the ball hit the top of his bat, sending it straight up into the air. He said a quick prayer that the catcher doesn't catch it. He twisted around to see Carlos Rhett stretch out to catch the foul ball, only for it to bounce off the tip of his glove._

 _Oh, thank God._

 _A smile graces his face. Got you, Meisner._

 _Meisner winds up and throws a slider. Ben counted one heartbeat and swung as hard as he can. The crack of the ball off the wooden bat had Ben grinning broadly as he started his run to first base, his eyes on the ball, just waiting to see if the ball is fair or foul, and the second it bounced off the tip of the far back fence, sending it back onto the ground; Ben put the pedal to the metal. He ran as fast as he can, making sure he touched the bases as he ran._

 _"Go!" his dad yelled._

 _Ben kept running, he can't hear anything else but his dad shouting encouragement and his mom's ecstatic screams for him to keep going._

 _Rounding third base, and receiving the go-ahead, Ben narrowed his gaze to home plate. Pumping his legs as fast as he can, Ben saw movement in his peripheral. Instinct took over and Ben dropped down into a slide in hopes that he'll beat the throw to Rhett._

 _And just as his foot reached the homeplate just as Rhett's glove is about to slam down on his foot -_

Beep! Beep! Beep!

The alarm Krissy set for them to take their morning run, something that Ben had to strong arm her into doing as a way to keep fit in the first place, had Ben shooting up and accidentally kicking Krissy out of bed. Heart beating wildly in his chest.

"What the hell, Ben?" Krissy complained from the floor. She got up off the carpet and swung a pillow at her boyfriend in retaliation.

"Sorry," he mumbled. He scrubbed his face with both hands in hopes to wash away the dream. It's not even a bad dream but the fact that he dreamed about his mom and dad. Seeing his mom's face and hearing her voice again - it _hurt_. He had pushed all thoughts and memories of his mother away and focused on looking for his dad because it had been easier to deal with finding a wayward father than dealing with the loss of his mom. She was all he had for years and then she was gone. In less than a heartbeat. She was gone.

"I dreamed about my parents," he said in a neutral tone. "A good one. It was my Little League team's fight for the championship. We had to beat the Pirates in the semi-finals. I woke up just as I was sliding home."

Krissy stared at him with a look he couldn't make out.

"Then why do you look like you watched your cat get run over?"

Ben sighed. "I miss my mom," he admitted in a small voice.

Her expression changed into something sympathetic and she crawled back onto the bed to wrap Ben up in her arms while he fought to keep the tears at bay, but it's a losing battle and Ben gave in and sobbed out all the grief he kept ignoring.

He missed his dad, yes, but he wasn't the one that raised Ben.

"Do you - Do you remember what your dad looked like?" Krissy asked tentatively.

"What?"

"Do you remember what your dad looks like?"

Ben shook his head then stopped. Did he? "No," he answered. Not really, he thought. I felt brave with him, and I remember him being so damn happy to watch me play baseball. I remember how proud he was when I presented him with the team jersey my mom helped me get for him. He teared up and had to take a minute but when he came back, he scooped me up like I was a little kid and held me tight against his chest. He never took the jersey that entire summer.

I can't remember his face but I can remember his smile and his laugh. I remember he loved me and my mom.

He doesn't say any of that. Just leaves it at no. He can't share this with Krissy. He can't. It's too personal, unknowingly echoing his father's thoughts of sharing something of that nature with his uncle. He's not sharing that part of his past. Too precious.

"We should go," Ben said instead. "We need to go. I can't stay here anymore, Krissy. I feel like I'm going crazy. I need to kill something." He got out of bed and went to go get showered and changed. "I mean it. I'm tired of hiding, and I'm tired of just waiting for Lucifer or Amara to find me. Us hiding will only work for so long. God's sister and favored son will find me."

He turned to look at Krissy and saw her face pale at his words.

"When I get out of the shower, we're leaving," he said, and when he finished with the shower, he found Krissy still sitting on the bed in her nightclothes. Their stuff wasn't packed and she wasn't looking at him. Fighting back a shiver of foreboding, Ben packed up all his stuff, hoping it would kickstart Krissy into packing as well, and when she didn't move a muscle, Ben knew this wasn't going to end well.

"We can't go, Ben," she said as soon as he finished packing. She tucked her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. "It's too dangerous."

Ben felt annoyance flair up. He's just so damn tired of running and being in the dark. He can't do this anymore. Ever since he woke up from his dream, he's felt off. Restless. And just so fucking tired of everything. He's hit his limit. He wants to go home, dammit! With Krissy. He wants them to have a home where they're safe and with someone who knows about the hidden creatures of myth and legend. Someone who can teach them and protect them until they're ready to deal with it on their own.

He doesn't care if it's Jody or his dad. He just wants a home for them, but if Krissy won't help him, then so be it. He'll deal with this and find her later.

Or...

"Jody Mills. She lives in Sioux Falls. She's the sheriff. Go to her and she'll help you out and keep you safe until I return," Ben told her. He grabbed his bag and walked out the door without looking back because he knew if he did, his resolve would leave him and he'd stay and not know anything that's been going on.

"I love you," he said just before the door shut and he walked away.

 **BW**

Sam stared at his brother out the corner of his eye, trying to observe without being obvious about it. He's worried, okay? Dean's breakdown the other day...It scared him. Dean hasn't been right since that day. He's more quiet. Apathetic. Listless. And it doesn't help that Cas refused to eject Lucifer, and Amara showed up and took him.

His brother looks defeated. Far more than he ever did during the Apocalypse.

He won't talk to him. Dean barely even looks at him. He just drinks and drinks and drinks. Sam has to practically force feed him so he'd have something in his stomach to help soak up all the alcohol.

They need a win. Fast.

Sam can't do this on his own anymore. Last time they were this bad, Sam had Cas to back him up, and Cas wasn't there to make sure Dean didn't go off the reservation like they thought he did after the Whore of Babylon thing way back when, and Sam knows the best way to pull Dean back from the edge. It's just a matter if he'll actually go through with it.

He hates himself for thinking of it but he's getting desperate. They - He - needs Ben. Ben is the only person in existence who can keep Dean from Amara's thrall. Paternal instinct has to be stronger than whatever it is that binds them.

Despite what Dean may think, Sam has seen what paternal instinct can overcome, and just how far a father will go to protect his kids. He saw it with Dad, when Dean ended up in a coma after being tortured by their father who possessed by Azazel, the demon that killed their mom. Dad overcame Azazel's possession to protect Dean, and their dad sold his soul to that very demon that tried to kill his oldest son not hours earlier. Imagine what Dean'll do to protect his only child.

And Sam offically is the worst uncle in the history of uncles. He's thinking of putting his only nephew in potential danger to save his brother and subsequently the world, but if he goes through with the plan, Dean will never forgive him. He wouldn't _want_ Dean to forgive him.

Picking up his phone, Sam made the call, and after talking to a very rambling and apologetic Jody, he immediately hung up and clasped his hands together, like he was saying a prayer, and he kind of was. He has to tell Dean. He has to. This isn't something that can be swept under the rug, but he has no idea how to tell Dean. Does he just say it and hope for the best? Does he make Dean something he likes - that he loves, and break the news that way?

Does it really matter because either way Dean'll feel betrayed?

Fuck.

Dean came out of his room with his headphones on. Sam had an intense internal debate about what to do when his hand shot out and flicked the pen he'd been chewing on soared across the room and hit Dean in the shoulder. Sam stared at his hand in betrayal. What the-?

"What?" Dean demanded as he rubbed his shoulder. He bent down to grab the pen and threw it back, hitting Sam square between the eyes. "Speak, Sasquatch," and Sam saw a glimpse of the old Dean in that remark, despite having tears from the hit, which _ow._ That hurt.

Son of a bitch. This just got harder.

Sam opened his mouth to say nevermind but what came out was, "Jody, Claire, and Alex lost Ben. He'd been living in Sioux Falls with them for almost a year before he got taken on a hunt by Jo. Our Jo. Ellen's Jo. That Jo."

He actually slapped a hand over his mouth in belation to the word vomit he just spouted and stared at Dean with wide, panicked eyes.

"I figured," is all Dean says before putting his earbuds back in and continuing his trek to the kitchen for a snack.

Wait, what? "What?" Sam said to an empty room then yelled, "Dean! What do you mean, 'I figured?'" He ran after his older brother to find him making a sandwich stacked high enough to be considered a Scooby sandwich. "Dean!" he yelled again, yanking out his older brother's earbud.

"Ben wrote me a letter. He alluded to an ally of mine, and of people who know about hunting and who started teaching him about hunting. There's not a lot of people out there who are our allies, let alone people who hunt or at least know about hunting, Sam. It's a very small list and there is only one person who hunts occasionally, and someone we sent a budding hunter to go live with," Dean pointed out. "It doesn't take a genuis to figure out, College Boy."

"Why aren't you mad? Betrayed? Hurt?" The questions left before Sam could stop them. This time he slapped himself in the face then mumbled. "You don't have to answer them."

Dean grunted. He smushed the sandwich down so he could stuff it into his mouth.

"Right now I don't care. Maybe when we've dealt with this whole Amara-Lucifer situation, I'll let myself deal with it but not right now. I just want my son back." He tilted his head up and shouted, "You keep him safe, Jo! Don't you dare let anything happen to him or I swear your afterlife will be hell. I will find a way to bring Hell to your Heaven!"

He nodded at Sam then walked back to his room, closing the door behind him.

Sam stared after his brother, his equilibrium completely shot, and he's not sure what he needs to do to find his balance again. He thought Dean was going to go off, to show some type of emotion and let Sam know his brother isn't completely gone. Instead his brother takes it all in stride and barely quirks an eyebrow at the information that when they went to go help Claire with her vampire problem, none of those women told them about Ben, who is not only missing but that he had lived there for almost a year.

His yell at Jo? The volume was there but not the emotion.

His brother should have let out a screech of rage and betrayal instead of nonchalance and an obligatory threat to the dead.

Wait. Letter? From Ben? Why didn't Dean tell him about that? Is that - Is that when Dean had that breakdown? Did Dean read Ben's letter and just fall apart? What the hell did Ben write?

So many questions. Hell, so many problems.

"Cas, man, I need your help," Sam spoke aloud to an empty room. He tried not to think too hard about the implication of him being on his own. He did, he tried, but silence surrounded him, forcing to think of just that.

"We need a win." Again only silence answered him. "Cas. God. Someone. Help. Please, help."


	19. Chapter 19

**Sorry for the wait. Couldn't write, Ben refused to cooperate (Damn teenager), Saw Infinity War, fell into shock, then made myself sit down and write because I can feel the end with this story coming up.**

* * *

Ben swore softly as he ducked down behind the bus bench. Another demon. Geez. How are they finding him? Well, not finding _him_ per se but how are in the same location as him all the damn time? He knows they're not tracking him. They can't. Krissy made sure of it but how are they always where he is? It's like as soon as he hits a town they're there too.

A part of him does want to step up from his hiding spot but to do so wouldn't ensure he'd get taken to this dad. He reveals himself to the wrong demon and he could end up dead instead of bait or leverage over his father, then again, one would think the Devil himself would have complete control over his minions and letting him be seen by one of the denizens of the underworld wouldn't exactly be a bad thing in the grand scheme of what's been going on. Because there is no way he would be hurt until either God's sister or son has what they want from his dad.

So...he's staying put.

Instinct is a powerful thing to change and fight against and overcome. He does want to be taken to his dad but he doesn't want to die in the process. That, and he can hear Krissy's voice screaming at him not to do anything stupid, like getting intentionally caught by demons.

It's only been a couple of days since he left Krissy in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, and he misses her like crazy. He honestly forgot what it was like to _not_ have her by his side. He looks to his right and sees no Krissy, he gets temporarily disoriented because that's not how it's supposed to be, and it takes him a while to get his balance back. There had been so many times that he almost went back to their temporary house in Wyoming but the thought of essentially being a sitting duck rubs against him in the wrong way. Chafing, really.

He is so sick of not being able to get in contact with his foster parents, with Jody and the girls, and his goddamn father.

Ben bit back a snarl of anger and remained in his hiding spot until the demons moved on, then a thought struck him. He should follow them. As long as he keeps his face from being seen by them, he could hopefully overhear some news about his dad or Amara or Lucifer. He needs to learn _something_ that's been going on.

Being in the dark is not fun.

Decision made, Ben followed the demons, and hid behind whatever he could, trying in vain to overhear what the demons were talking about. People chattered loudly and the demons made sure to keep their voices low as they continuously scanned, presumably, for him.

Then something odd happened. One second they were walking two feet in front of him, someone crossed his path, temporarily blocking Ben's view less than a second, and the demons were gone. In the fraction of a second, the demons disappeared without a trace. That is so unfair. How is he supposed to follow them when they can disappear faster than the eye can blink?

And if demons can do that, then what can God's sister do?

A shiver of unease crawled up his spine and nestled in the base of his skull, leaving him feeling incredibly unsettled and vaguely paranoid. He doesn't know what to do. Every instinct he has is telling him he needed to return to Krissy because she'll know what to do. He is so out of his depth.

He can do this. He can find his dad without anyone elses help. Getting captured may not be the best course of action but it's all he has and he's betting that neither Lucifer or Amara would kill him on sight. They need him for leverage. Killing him would not serve their interest, at least until they got what they wanted from his dad then he'll most likely be dead not long after they finish talking.

Ben let out a defeated sigh and strode forward and stopped exactly where the demons were, looking around for any trace but, of course, found nothing. That is just unfair.

Maybe he should learn magic. Because doing this job is hard on his own.

There was a book on magick, funny spelling and all in his old boxes from before he lost his memory of his dad. Maybe his dad had the idea to teach him the do's and don't's of magic, like, mainly _Don't Do It._ But why though? Isn't magic mostly neutral? Like, it's the _intent_ , right?

A headache blossomed. Screw this.

Ben stomped off towards the bus line when the sky seemed to shiver and a loud boom could be heard, strong enough to send Ben staggering back a couple of steps from the force of it. Windows shattered, people screamed, and Ben's ears rang. Alarms were going off in a cacophony of noise that wasn't helping the ringing in his ears and his headache spiked into a full blown migraine.

What the hell was that?

The answer came to him: Amara. Oh, boy. She must be done playing games because that was one hell of a yoo-hoo. Is she taunting God? Is she daring Him to come out, come out and play-ay? What would it be like if two incredibly powerful forces went toe-to-toe?

Oh, geez. He needs to find his dad _now._

 **BW**

Screaming in frustration seems like a good idea right now. It's been hours since the whole "Earth shaking and people screaming" thing happened, and Ben has not, he's not kidding, been able to find a single damn demon. Not one. Of all the times to actually get caught by one...and he can't friggin' find a demon. One would think that since the sky shivered, demons would be all over the place trying to find the source of the...power?...the origin. Whatever. Not even an angel could be found.

Dammit.

Now he really wishes Krissy taught him how to summon demons. That'd be really helpful right about now.

He knows there was a reason for not teaching that particular brand of magic but it would have been nice to at least _know_ how to do it. Although, does Krissy know how to summon a demon? How to trap one? They've steered clear of demons while they were on the run. Of course that now comes back to bite him in the ass, and he really doesn't remember if his dad ever gave him a crash course in demonology before losing his memories.

"Amara!" He yelled suddenly to the empty field. He's not dumb enough to yell at the heavens with people around. He'd find himself in the loony bin before he could find his dad. "Amara," he yelled again. "Lucifer! Castiel!"

Ben lost track of how long he yelled out those three names but as the stars came out, Ben found himself suddenly in some sort of building basement or something. There's a spiral staircase that lead up to a heavy duty door, and there's, like, a world map-table thing, something that would be on a war movie set. Behind him is library that's on an upper platform with tables, and a delicious smell permeated the air. Someone's cooking something.

Following his nose, Ben walked hopped the two steps that lead up the platform, down a hallway, and took a left to find a short guy cheffing up dinner, presumably. The guy whistled as he moved about the kitchen, seemingly oblivious to Ben's presence.

That is until the guy spoke up.

"Sit down, Ben. Dinner's almost ready."

Ben sat down automatically, his stomach deciding for him. Krissy would have kicked his ass for listening to some dude or creature or something that just magicked him away from Nebraska to wherever the hell he is right now, but a growing boy's got to eat. Whatever the dude is cooking smells unbelievably good. It tickled a memory of his mom when he was really little.

A plate piled high with a steak and a medly vegetables and seasoned fingerling potatoes that were so good he moaned when he bit into them. Before he knew it, the food was gone and the plate literally licked clean.

The man chuckled fondly.

"You're just like your dad. Well, almost. He wouldn't've eaten the vegetables. That must be your mom coming through, and maybe a bit of your uncle as well."

Ben swallowed thickly. Is this it? Is he finally going to meet his dad? Again. Meet his dad again. And his uncle. Their angel, too.

"Are you related to Gabriel?" Ben asked.

The man let out a bark of laughter and even clapped in genuine amusement. He snapped his fingers like Gabriel did and the kitchen was cleaned.

"Does that answer your question?" The smile Ben had fighting back escaped, and the man grinned back at him. "He's...more like me on my good days than any other day."

"That's delightfully vague."

"Yes. I thought so."

Grinning, Ben held up the empty plate, silently asking for more. The man gestured at the plate and it refilled. Gabriel didn't do that. Maybe he wasn't powerful enough. He always snapped his fingers to channel his powers, so, this guy is stronger, has more power, than the archangel.

"Are you Michael? He's the only possible archangel that's more powerful than he is. If you were Lucifer, then I'd be chained or caged up, not being fed really delicious food," Ben inferred, "and if you're Amara, then Gabriel really dropped the ball in informing me of your sex change. Although, if you were some other powerful entity, I guess I got to ask if and when you're going to kill me. I don't have any information about my dad or uncle or their angel."

Ben's a little impressed with himself. He said all that without showing just how fucking terrified he is. This short dude is packing a serious amount of power without any hint of power exhaustion.

"You're girlfriend, Krissy Chambers, is safe in Sioux Falls with Jody Mills and her pseudo-daughters, Alex and Claire. I pinned a note on her lapel saying who she is when I deposited her off there. Understandably a little startled and bemused as to how she got there but Jody will take good care of her until your return," the man informed him with a benevolent smile.

"I'm not going to kill you. Your dad will never forgive me, nor would your mother and uncle. I know you don't remember your dad or uncle, but I do know that little spell Castiel placed upon you is fading. A spell of that magnitude needs constant care and let's just say Castiel has been a bit busy. Also, Castiel's meddling sister should have just let you drift in the foster care system. You would have been much safer."

Ben blinked. What?

Correctly reading his expression, the man spoke in a gentle tone, "Your father and uncle have collected a lot of IOUs over the years, and when Castiel's sister discovered who you were, she decided to pay up by sending to Jody, thinking she'd keep you safe. Castiel's sister forgot one important fact about you Winchesters, even half-Winchesters, hunting is in your blood.

"Sooner or later you would have been drawn into that world, setting you up in the same town as a hunter was just asking for trouble." The man chuckled to himself and shook his head in amazement. "Even those who have passed on protect you in repayment. And a wayward archangel who likes to march to the beat of his own drum."

The man sighed tiredly but Ben didn't think it was for any physical reasons, and tilted his head at his empty plate, making it vanish, and Ben swallowed at the casual show of power. Who is this guy? Where the hell is he?

"Your father is here, as is your uncle, my sons, and the King of Hell and his mother," the man told him, and Ben shot to his feet, the chair crashed backwards but froze mid-air.

"Where? Can I see him? Them?"

The man held his hands out for Ben and the younger hunter stepped into them without hesitation, closing his eyes when the man bracketed his face with them and pulled his head down for a kiss of benediction on his forehead, which felt oddly appropriate for some reason, and instantly his head filled with images of a man with familiar green eyes, a deep voice, and held an aura of safety and comfort. Of home.

When the man let his head go, Ben immediately started crying deep wracking sobs because that's his dad.

Dean Winchester smiled at him with a look of pure happiness on his face when Ben brought home straight A's on his report card. The same smile on his face when they worked on the Impala together in his mom's garage back in Cicero, a hint of proudness when Ben correctly changed the oil without any help.

His dad cheering loudly when Ben hit a grand slam in the 5th inning of play-offs, surging ahead to the lead by two runs. His mom and dad taking him and his friends out for a day in the sun at the local lake.

So many memories that he outright forgot because his dad had been too entwined for the spell to remove him without leaving any trace of something not being right, flooded his mind. His dad and uncle saved him from the Changlings, his dad promising to come back and he did until Uncle Sam took him away for good.

His mom had truly loved his dad and his dad loved her. He had a _family_.

"Breathe, Ben," the man encouraged, and Ben took a deep breath, clearing out the stars in his eyes. He didn't even realize he even stopped in the first place.

"Don't be mad at your uncle, he wasn't himself," the man defended Sam's actions. "That was no fault of his own."

"Okay, good, but what about my dad?" Ben asked as anger started to build in his chest. Now that he has all of his memories back, Ben's not so inclined to give his dad anymore leeway in his treatment of him and how he treated his mother before she died. "Why did he stay away?"

 _Was I not good enough to keep him with us? Did he really not care about us? About me?_

The man sighed again. "I can't answer that for him."

"But you defended my uncle pretty fast!" Ben argued.

When the man didn't answer, Ben huffed in frustration and started pacing around the kitchen.

"I want to see my dad, and then my uncle."

"I don't know if I should do that," the man admitted with a guilty look. "There is a lot, and I mean a lot, going on right now, Ben, and I think it would be best if we waited until Amara is dealt with."

Before Ben could even open his mouth to argue, the man smiled at him and Ben found himself standing inside a spacious and opulent room but with no door and a huge sliding window, like the kind that slides all the way open - to a large deck that looked out to a view that most people would kill to have with gigantic mountains that somehow _felt_ old, ancient. Antediluvian. Primordial. The air even felt wild and pure.

Turning around, Ben found a kitchen that would make the world's greatest chefs weep in jealousy. Wandering around, there was a fully stocked pantry and fridge, a queen bed with what has to be the most soft and comfortable bedding ever, and don't get him started on the bed. It's so _amazing._

A studio apartment. The dude sent him to a studio apartment at the beginning of time. He wished Krissy could see this. She'd love it.

Instead of allowing sadness to overswamp him, or anger for that matter, Ben opted to focus on exploring his domicile to see if there was any way out, and after looking for an entire hour, he came to the realization that he's stuck here until his dad saves the day because there's even an invisible barricade to keep him from jumping. Not that he'd do that. Dude is paranoid.

His dad named Dean. His uncle's name is Sam.

He's a Winchester.

All the times people referred to him by his father's surname, he now remembers them. The social worker, that dude confirmed she was an angel, and he said he confirmed he was related to Gabriel, though he did have a little secret smile on his face that Ben couldn't explain at the archangel's name.

An idea formed that Ben immediately dismissed as to ludicrous to even consider. There is no way that the Dude is God. No way. The Dude is short. Ben doesn't think that God would be short or scruffy. Krissy's taller than him. Krissy would not be taller than God. But who the hell is the Dude?

Aaand Ben's having a hard time not laughing. The Dude. He can't remember the movie exactly where the reference is from but it's super old and still funny.

He watched it with his dad. He remembers that. God, if only he can remember the name of that damn movie.

"I can help!" Ben yelled to the ceiling. "I can! Dude! I can help!"

Silence. Asshole, Ben thought with a snarl. Why can't he see his dad and help? He can. Krissy has taught him a lot during their time together. He wouldn't be burden or a hindrance or anything. He wouldn't. He wants to prove that he can handle himself, to show his dad what he's learned, and to show that his dad made a mistake leaving him and his mom. He just wants to prove he's good enough to be a Winchester, dammit.

"You asshole!" Ben shouted angrily.

Ben dropped to his knees, dug his knife out of his ankle holster and started to carve a sigil onto the floor. He found it online, here's hoping the information is correct and that when he cuts his palm and places it dead center, it should make a powerful sonic boom from his location.

That'll get the Dude's attention. He _has_ to be Michael.

Sigil done. Now all he has t do is cut his palm and slam it dead center, and then, hopefully, he'll be able to leave this so-called safe house.

He's going to help his dad. The Dude isn't going to stop him. Not even God or his sister or favored son.

Decision made, Ben slammed his palm on the sigil and a loud boom shook the cabin, rattling the windows hard enough for them to bend and bow before resuming its original shape, but the effect was a little terrifying. He had a moment where he thought the window would break and shatter inward and he'd have glass shards all over him, cutting him to ribbons.

Yeah, he really didn't think that through.

Deafened from the sonic boom, Ben felt off - his equilibrium shot - as he stood up and walked to the massive island with white quart countertop and sat on one of the barstools that looked right out of a sci-fi episode. Comfortable though.

Good on the Dude for furniture choices. If he wasn't so worried about his dad and uncle and Krissy, he'd actually be quite content to stay here until his dad came for him. He has to come for him this time. The Dude said they'd meet once the situation with Amara had been dealt with. After all these years he'd finally be reunited with his last remaining family.

A thunderclap rattled the windows again and Ben ducked behind the massive island, just in case the windows blew this time.

Nothing happened.

Peeking out behind the island, Ben froze in shock when he saw a woman in a black dress standing in the living room looking around in interest. Her face, Ben couldn't believe just how sharp her cheekbones are. He's glad Krissy isn't here. She'd smack him for thinking that and then she'd attack the woman because she is obviously not human.

Ben's not sure he could even land a hit. The woman radiates power but it's subtle enough to make Ben's skin crawl and a shiver of apprehension make it's way through his body.

"Come out from behind there, little one," the woman ordered, her gaze locked on the mountains outside. "Come out or I'll make you."

She wasn't kidding. She's dead serious.

Taking a deep, steadying breath that helped him put his "I'm not afraid of you" mask on, even slapping a smirk on his face. Ben stood to his full height and crossed his arms, smirk firmly in place.

The woman turned from the window to stare at him, pinning him with intense eyes that looked at him like he's a particularly interesting specimen. Her eyes widened for a brief second when she truly focused on him then a small, triumphant smile grew. She held her hand out for him to take. Ben felt compelled to grab it for some reason.

"Hello."

"Hi."

"You're Dean's son," she stated, slowly walking towards him. Her entire attention is focused on him. Ben feels like a bug under a microscope. "You look like him. You have his bearing. You have brown eyes instead of the green eyes of your father. I'm guessing that is the part of your mother coming through. A cloak of compassion surrounds you, must be because of her."

Ben blinked. What else is he supposed to do?

The woman flicked her hand and the island disappeared like it had never been there. Fear spiked as more adrenaline surged through his body. She's as powerful as the Dude. She could only be one person.

"Amara."

She smiled at him.

"Yes."


	20. Chapter 20

Fog rolled in like it was alive, moving, dancing in non-existant wind. Maliciousness seemed to radiate from it. Amara. Her weapon of choice to wipe out mankind until God got off His ass and did something about it.

His son...Ben. He is out there on his own. Panic clawed at Dean's throat as he watched national news as Amara's fog engulfed downs and cities, killing thousands at a time, and there is no one to help them. How can they fight fog? Or even Amara? They're human. Flesh and blood and bone with nothing truly special about them in all actuality. How can he protect his son from her? How can they stop this?

"Help us, please?" Dean prayed just loud enough to be considered audible. "Save my son. Just save him. Please, just save him."

Sam turned his head to see his brother mumbling under his breath, hands clenched together so hard they're as white as the fog outside the police station, not that Dean noticed. His gaze is locked on the TV, brows furrowed in worry over his wayward son. Not that Sam can blame him.

Amara has upped her game. Full on assault now. No more playing around. The black veins of the infected blood, skin, whatever, are a deep contrast on his skin. How can he tell Dean he's infected? That the voices in his head are damning him for everything he's done wrong since he was born. That he is such a horrible person for wanting to leave Ben out there on his own. Or that he only wanted to find his only nephew to keep his brother from doing something stupid instead of finding him to keep Ben safe.

He's a horrible, horrible person.

 **BW**

Chuck heard Dean's prayer, a rarity if there ever was one, but it's not like Dean hasn't prayed for a loved one before. He can hear the desperation, the guilt, in the Righteous Man's voice as all thoughts were of his missing son and his safety. A constant stream of _"Save him, please"_ sounds loudly in Chuck's mind.

Metatron had called him a coward, he had been angry at the implication then but now he can admit he is, in fact, cowardly.

In a moment of ...nostalgia, Chuck whisked Ben away to safety only to have the boy embrace his inner Winchester and try and break out. It served only to alert Amara to where he was, and she took him. She now has the leverage she needed to get Dean to join her.

And he let it happen.

He could have stopped it. He could have stopped the boy from using the sigil but he didn't because he had been afraid Amara would find him. He let an innocent child get taken by a creature that knows only destruction. She cannot create. Or love. She doesn't understand what that means. She won't understand why Dean fought so hard to fight their attraction, their bond, to one another because he had something stronger worth fighting for.

Paternal instinct. Maternal instinct. That's something not even He understands completely. If _he_ doesn't understand it, how can Amara? But now that she has Ben, Dean won't fight anymore.

And instead of doing something about it, here he is, sitting in the safe haven he created with Metatron, and writing his autobiography. Conflict rages through him. He is just so tired. He had heard Dean's thoughts about always fighting and fighting and fighting only to have more adversaries take each others' place. That soul deep weariness he admitted to, and despite not having a soul himself, Chuck feels that. He gets it. He sympathizes with the hunter. There comes a time when the urge - the instinct - to fight is no longer there.

Dean's prayers are picking up in intensity and desperation. He wonders if the hunter realizes his brother is slowly succumbing to Amara's influence or that he didn't seal the door correctly and the people inside are being infected as well.

A sudden jolt of panic shoots through Dean when he realizes what's going on and that he's seemingly immune to the fog, and Chuck hears the hunter's demands for him to stop it. Being called a dick is not called for but he understands Dean's reasonings. To the human, yeah, he dropped the ball big time, but name calling is not cool.

He can also hear Sam and Ben's prayers pick up in volume. Sam wants him to save Dean and keep Ben safe, and Ben is begging to see his dad one last time if he is to die.

Winchesters.

What was he thinking in allowing them to be born? They have him wrapped around their fingers. His children as well are equally whipped.

Time to face the music and own up to his mistakes.

 **BW**

Ben cowered in terror, watching Amara create fog and sending it away with a smirk on her face.

"He has to show himself now," she told him. "He can't let all those people die."

The power she contained rippled off her body in waves, almost like her vessel can barely contain it, or maybe that she's allowing it escape to scare him. She's showing him just how powerful she is by letting Ben experience it for himself.

Castiel isn't faring much better. Or Lucifer. Whoever.

Amara has been getting her jollies by torturing Castiel's vessel. He hopes the angel is okay and that it's Lucifer feeling the pain. He told the archangel is dad is going to come for them. The reassurance got a wet chuckle and a disbelieving snort, but Ben knows his dad will come and save the both of them. ...The three of them?

"My dad's going to stop you," Ben told her, his voice breaking as more power rippled off of her. He ducked down and drew his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around his shins, pulling them tight to his body. "He will. He'll find a way to kill you. He's going to save me, and Cas, and he's going to save the world from you. Just go back to where you belong."

The Darkness smiled fondly in amusement at him. They've only known each other for a few hours now but she seems to have taken a liking to him.

"Your father will do no such thing. He will join me to keep you safe. I will find a place for you to live out the rest of your life because I will not break a promise to Dean," Amara said. She rolled her neck, making a gesture with her hands, and created more fog before sending it out into the world.

"Let me talk to me dad," Ben demanded stupidly. He's demanding something to a creature as old as God. He can practically feel the headslaps from Claire and Krissy.

"No. Not yet. Let me have my fun, little one."

She smiled at him and held her arms out, only to make a fist and slam her arms down. A boom rattled the abandoned and rusting oil tankard, drum thingy. Whatever it is, it's huge. Cavernous even. Why the Darkness chose this as her base of opperations, Ben'll never understand. With the amount of power she has, she can conjure something a little more impressive than a derelict creation of man.

At least she's focused on having fun instead of making Lucifer cry out in agony.

He really should have listened to the Dude and stayed at the cabin in the Beginning of Time, and yes, Ben is using capitals to describe that place. It fits.

Plus, he has a sneaking feeling, a dreadful and terrifyingly awesome inkling, that the Dude is in fact God. God made him supper. God gave him back his memories of his dad. God sent him away for his safety and he stupidly threw it away because he wanted to be involved instead of being on the peripheral of what's been going on.

He wanted to prove to himself and to his dad and uncle that he's a Winchester through and through.

All in all, Ben doesn't think he's doing too bad of a job at acting like a Winchester.

Lucifer let out a pained groan before spitting out blood. He even chuckled, lolling his head to look at Ben sitting on the ground in as small a ball as he could make his body go without damaging anything. He grinned at Ben.

"So, you're Dean Winchester's spawn then, huh? I don't get the big deal. You look like him, I'll give you that, but you don't have his fighting spirit. Your dad wouldn't be cowering in a tiny ball of fear. No. Your dad would be sassing the crap out of dear Auntie Amara." He tsked at Ben. "And he would have some Hail Mary that would get him out of this spot."

"That would be Castiel," Ben shot back without thinking, "but since you're in his vessel, I guess that plan's off the list. Great going."

The Lightbringer chuckled. "Oh, yeah. You're Dean's boy, all right." He winced when he shifted his weight. "Family reunions are not fun, kid. Are you sure you want to see your dad and uncle again? Look at how Aunt Amara is treating me? Imagine how Sam will act."

Ben flipped him off.

"They are so co-dependent, Benny boy. Your dad will never choose you over Sam. I mean, he chose Sam over you and your mom all those years ago, didn't he? He promised you he'd be back. _You just have to wait a little bit longer,_ " Lucifer mocked in a sickeningly sweet and caring voice, a caricature of his dad's from a memory so long ago.

Ben went rigid, as if he'd be tazed. Blood pounded in his ears, drowning out all other noise. His face felt weird and he couldn't think straight.

He exploded to his feet and grabbed a pipe to swing at the fallen angel's face when he froze mid-swing. No matter how hard he struggled he couldn't move and it the bastard in the face. He couldn't even move his pinky.

"What are you doing, young one?" Amara asked nicely. She moved forward to stand between them.

"Trying to hit your nephew in the face with this rusted pipe," Ben answered mildly. "If you just let me take one good swing, I'd be much obliged." He paused for a second and frowned. "Did I use that expression right?" Amara stared at him with a confused look and Lucifer rolled his eyes. "You're a dick," Ben informed him, earning a smirk from Amara.

"Sticks and stones, Winchester junior," Lucifer sing-songed then groaned in pain when Amara thrust her hand towards him before turning away and focusing on raising havoc to earn God's attention.

Ben remained frozen mid-swing long enough that his muscles burned from holding the position without relief, and he daydreamed about getting a massage to work all the kinks he's undoubtedly accruing. Lucifer isn't faring much better. Poor Cas's arms must be super extended by now.

A snap of fingers had Ben dropping to the ground in pain as his muscles seized in protest. He clapped his hands over his ears when Lucifer started to scream in agony, ignoring his cramped muscles as best he could.

Air displacement above his covered head had Ben curling tighter into a ball. His muscles cramped some more but like hell is Ben moving from his position. Pain clawed at his throat but he refused to move. His muscles spasmed again, sending new waves of agony through his body, and Ben bit his lip hard enough to draw blood to keep from crying out. He didn't want to draw anymore attention to himself. Amara's been fairly ignoring him. He's not sure how he feels about that.

He just needs to keep quiet enough until his dad comes.

His dad will come. He knows he will. He won't leave Ben with Amara. He won't.

 **BW**

Amara found her gaze yet again settling on Benjamin Winchester, Dean's son. Even if the boy hadn't've looked almost like a carbon copy of Dean, Amara would have known the boy was Dean's by the sheer brightness of his soul. In some places the boy's soul shone brighter than Dean's, it must be a product of the mother, she raised a good son. It shows.

Her brother might have actually done something right by allowing Dean and his brother to be born. Ben is a testament to nature and nurture.

Raised by a good woman, taught right from wrong and how to genuinely a good man, and having the Righteous Man as a father had culminated in Ben having a uniquely bright and pure soul. That pureness called out to her that she didn't know what to do with. If it wasn't for her bond with Dean, she might have chosen Ben as the one she wants to keep. He's not as strong as his father or uncle but he has the ability to be so with some training. Perhaps even stronger.

From what she has observed and learned about Dean and Samuel Winchester is that they'll damn the world to keep each other safe. They are so co-dependent, that many times, things that have gone horribly gone could have been prevented by merely being unselfish.

Lisa Braeden raised a boy who would choose the many over the one, no matter what. In that way he is stronger and braver than his father and uncle could ever hope to be.

She had been jealous of Ben, Amara can admit that freely, and she had wanted nothing more than to wipe the boy from existence but as soon as she saw him, and his brilliantly shining soul, she know she couldn't do that. She wanted him to join her. She would have both Dean and Ben. Her brother can't have them, but they have to choose her. Free will, her brother's favorite thing. It'll hurt him so much more if Dean and Ben _choose her_ over him.

Dean will choose her for Ben and Ben will choose her for his dad.

It will all work out in the end.

Her revenge will be so much sweeter when she kills her dear brother. With Dean and Ben, she'll never be alone again. They'll always be with her, safe, happy, and together. Ben's soul will no longer cry out for his father and Dean's soul won't be as laden down with the guilt of abandoning Ben when the boy needed him the most. They'll never be a part again.

Amara'll ensure it. That'll be the greatest gift she could ever give Dean. He'll truly love her for it, and will never want for anything else in his life.

"I'm hungry," came the plaintive whine of Ben. Oh, yes. She forgot that humans have to eat.

"Come here, little one," she ordered, and the boy put on his brave face. He strode towards her with as much courage as he can muster. More fondness shot through her. It's a foreign emotion. She's not sure she likes it.

"Little nephew here had money in his pocket. I'm trusting you to go buy your own food and come back. You do not want me to come find you," she warned him, and Ben nodded. "Go."

Ben took off like a shot, probably happy to go get food.

Lucifer coughed, intentionally splattering her with blood. "You know the only reason the boy is staying with you is because it's the fastest way for him to see dear old dad, right? I mean, seriously, Auntie, you can't believe he's sticking around you because he has a crush on you. That boy will turn on you in a heartbeat if it means keeping daddy dearest safe."

"Perhaps," Amara played along, "or perhaps the boy might see something you can't. He won't leave my side."

Her nephew scoffed. "Sure. Dean'll kill you. Even little Cassie thinks so."

"Dean will come, and Ben will stay. Dean will stay so Ben won't be alone," Amara almost sing-songed. So sure that that's how things will play out that not even Lucifer could bring her down from her happy little high. "None of us will ever be alone again. I thought that's something you'd understand."

Lucifer shut his mouth, grimacing in pain when he shifted to alleviate some pressure on his ribs. He can hear Castiel grumbling about bad reception. The Lightbringer doesn't know why but he's been keeping his baby brother locked in his room, so to speak. If Little Cassie finds out that Ben Winchester, the very person he'd been protecting is here...with Amara...and him...but mostly Amara. Little brother might just bust lose and get the both of them killed. So, keeping him distracted and not bothering him, Lucifer is saving them both.

He's an awesome big brother, thank you very much.

Amara flicked her wrist and a cloud of darkness appeared, seemingly dancing around her, almost like puppies greeting their master, complete with nuzzling. Urging the cloud to the center of her hands, Amara focused on it before throwing her arms up and the cloud of darkness shot to the sky, going through the celing of the massive drum they're in, and a sonic boom is heard.

"What did you do?" quieried Lucifer. Craning his head up, he tried to decipher what just happened, and coming up with nothing. "Dear old Dad won't come just because you keep making loud noises to catch his attention. That doesn't work with him," he said sagely.

A gesture he couldn't make out hit Lucifer as agony rippled across his skin before sinking down to the very fiber of his being, even Castiel shifted in discomfort, forcing Lucifer to shield his little brother from the brunt of it. Not out of concern for baby bro, no, hell no, but for his own safety. Cassie would make things worse if he tried to take over, and it would be just his luck that baby Winchester would show up when Cassie makes his appearance known.

"Mind your own, Lucifer," Amara ordered then went back to work doing whatever the hell she's doing. "Or I'll kill you and your little brother in front of the boy."

Normally the last statement wouldn't be needed but it strikes him nonetheless with a surprisingly powerful blow. Lucifer wished he could dissect that.

Amara hummed a song to herself, ignoring Lucifer while at the same time keeping track of Dean's son by the unique brilliance of his soul, readying herself to come to the boy's aid the second he needs her, or if Dean shows up. She'll be able to grab him and present him to Dean.

She'll get her brother's attention, just you wait and see.

If not by her then by his favored son or by Dean's innocent one. There is no way he'll allow Ben to be hurt by her, not if he wants to keep his champions by his side. Sam and Dean will not tolerate it.

Everything will work out in the end. God will see and so will Dean.


	21. Chapter 21

The ground has dropped out from him and he died from the fall and he's back in Hell. That's the only explanation Dean has for this feeling of overwhelming fear and horror. He can't seem to catch his breath, and Sam and Chuck - sorry, _God_ \- are looking at him with great concern. They're not even trying to help him out, assholes.

Black spots started to appear in his vision and he couldn't quite seem to inhale some much needed oxygen but his lungs refused to do their damn job. A soft touch to his hand had his lungs taking in sweet, sweet oxygen that helped clear his vision but did nothing to calm his tumultuous mind that's at war with denial and horror beyond his imagining. Dean never thought he would ever feel this level of fear outside of watching Sam being stabbed in the back by Jake Talley, and watching Sam jump into the Pit.

Those times have absolutely nothing on the knowledge, just the knowledge mind you, of his son in Amara's clutches, along with Lucifer and Castiel.

His son.

His son is with Amara.

God's sister has his son and he has no idea where they're at or how he's going to get his son back unharmed.

And Sam and Chuck are _just staring at him_. They're not...doing...anything.

Dean let out such a scream of fear and helplessness that Chuck actually took a couple of steps back at the amount of emotion the hunter had in him and it was all aimed towards God. It hit him like beam thrown by Category 5 level winds square in his chest. He can feel Dean's emotions swiftly move from fear and helplessness into something dark and deep that threatened to send him into a depression not even _he_ can pull the hunter out of.

Sam shot forward and barely managed to catch Dean before his brother fell to the ground. Chuck snapped his fingers and Dean's weight disappeared from his arms.

"Where is he? Where did you send him?" Sam demanded in panic. His hands shook slightly, fear still coursed through his veins at Dean's scream. He had never, not in all the years he's known his brother, ever hear Dean scream the way he did.

Chuck held his hands out in a concilliatory manner. "Calm down. He's fine. I sent him to his room where he's safely ensconced in his bed, tucked in, and knocked out until tomorrow afternoon. I figured he'd need the sleep to...clear his mind and get his head on straight. I know learning that Amara has Ben, is probably not the best thing, but Dean needs to keep a cool head or we've already lost."

"She has his son!" Sam yelled, and Chuck yelled back with, "She has my sons, too!" The only difference is that after Chuck yelled, thunder clapped.

Sam clutched his hair and let out a low moan of distress. Fear and worry made him sick, and Sam lost what food he had in his stomach. The puke disappeared before it even hit the ground, so, there's that. No messy, disgusting clean up.

The smaller man reached out and gave a pat of sympathy.

"Let it out now, Sam. I'll need the both of you to have a clear head. I know Ben's location is a great cause of concern but I need you to focus when the time comes," Chuck soothed.

Deep breath in, shuddering breath-that-threatened-to-break-him out. Ad nauseum until he no longer felt like there's a thousand frogs in his throat and sandpaper in his eyes. Oh God, Ben. His nephew is with Amara.

He's afraid how Dean's gonig to be when he wakes up. What if his brother takes off in an attempt to save Ben? Sam can't do this on his own. Hell, he won't do this on his own. Not without Dean.

His entire body shook with emotion that he didn't know how to identify or let out. He's terrified for Ben, scared for himself, and afraid for his brother's state-of-mind. If Sam loses Dean to his fear, then that'll mean Sam and God are going to have to think of a plan to save everyone, stop Amara, and get Lucifer out of Cas. Not necessarily in that order, though Sam thinks Dean would like to start with saving Ben then get their angel back. God can handle saving the world.

Chuck watched in concern as Sam struggled to find his calm. Dean's out for the count until tomorrow, he doesn't know what to do if Sam needs to be sent to sleep as well. He'd have to twiddle his thumbs until the brothers woke up and that's not fun.

"Calm yourself, Sam," Chuck ordered in a tone Sam had never heard before, at least not in the prophet's voice, and felt something in him tighten and his unidentifiable yet intense emotions became locked in a chest then buried deep inside himself. He literally felt the emotions move away, far away from his reach. So, that's good for now.

Sam stared at Chuck in disbelief and the powerful being shrugged at him.

"It needed to be done. You weren't dealing with it."

The hunter walked into the library and flopped down in a chair then rested his head on the table, using his arms as cushions against the hard surface. He wants to panic, to shout and trash the bunker to show just how he's not okay but Chuck locked those emotions away for now, and he just feels hollow and empty.

He wants to sleep like Dean is. He wants to wake up tomorrow and find that this is all a horrible nightmare and that Dean'll come wake him up with that concerned frown of his. He'll then make Sam some homemade waffles, because that's Sam's favorite comfort food, and wait for him to talk about his dream. He'll take his time eating, trying to decide if he should say the truth or not. Dean'll wait him out because when it comes to Sam's well-being, he'll out wait even the most patient and diligent predator.

That's what he wants to wake up to.

"How do we save Ben?" asked Sam. It came out muffled but he thinks Chuck heard him. "How are we going to keep Dean from doing something colossally stupid? If you think he acted brashly, impulsively, or unpredictably for me, imagine how he'll react to save his _son_."

God sighed and scrubbed his face with his right hand while his left made a flicking gesture with his left that brought a chair for him to sit on.

"I don't know, Sam," Chuck admitted. He leaned back on his chair in exhaustion. It did nothing to ease Sam's state of mind. "I'm not ready for a confrontation with Amara. I don't know if I'll be able to fight her long enough for you and Dean to grab Ben, Lucifer and Castiel. I don't even know if I'll be able to fight her period."

That's not what he wanted to hear.

"Look, Chuck, God, or whatever, you're not hearing me: we can't do anything unless we save Ben. Dean won't be able to think about anything else. His entire focus will be on Ben and that could be dangerous, especially when we have to save Cas as well."

"I can make Dean temporarily forget about Ben until we get them out. He'll just think he's saving a random kid," Chuch offered up then wilted at Sam's pissed off stare. "Or not." There's a beat where nothing was said, and then, "We need him, Sam."

Sam sighed. "I know."

Silence fell once more between them and it wasn't at all optimistic or comfortable.

No more ideas came to them. At least no _good_ ideas because as far as Sam is concerned, making Dean forget Ben, even temporarily, is a Bad Idea. There is a chance that Ben might not even recognize Dean because of that spell Cas put on him and his mom all those years ago but knowing their luck, the spell wore off and it would destroy Ben when his dad doesn't even acknowledge him. Dean would never forgive Chuck for that, not even if Chuck compelled him to. There are some things that just can't be erased or binded.

The thing is though, that might be their only plan if Dean doesn't wake up clear-headed and focused tomorrow on what they need to do. Dean may not like it but in the long run he might realize they did the right thing.

"Oh, I forgot to mention earlier," Chuck started, "that Ben had been hunting with Krissy Chambers, and before that he had been learning how to hunt with Jody Mills, Claire Novak and Alex Rivers."

Sam nodded to show he heard then froze.

Wait, what? "What?!"

 **BW**

Krissy stared out at the seemingly alive fog that surrounded Sheriff Mills house, her mind focused only on Ben and his safety. She should have never let them part. After everything they've been through, everything that Ben means to her, and what his father did for her, Krissy let Ben walk out of her life without a real fight. He must think that she didn't care about him at all. That their time together was fake because he knows how much she doesn't really like being alone.

Ben must think the worst of her.

The fog grew thicker around the window pane, tendrils probed for weak spots so it can get in and infect them like it did with all the others. Hearing the neighbors literally tear themselves apart is enough nightmare material to last her for the rest of her life.

Claire, annoyingly, seemed to take it in stride. They have a talk in their future, Krissy knows, but for now they are the two most experienced hunters in the house. Jody's good and all but she doesn't have that little bit in her that absolutely thrives in a situation like this. Krissy can feel the adrenaline pumping through her veins and she can see a similiar expression on Claire that has the two girls sharing a feral smile.

They aren't going out without a fight and right now they are allies. Talks about boys are for later.

"Salt the windows!" Jody yelled at her. Krissy sneered at her reflection. She already did. It keeps blowing away. "Draw every protection sigil you know!"

"Won't work," Krissy said calmly. It won't. Nothing they have will work. She knows who sent this, Jody and Claire should as well.

Claire grabbed Krissy's shoulder and swung her around. "And why's that?" The blonde hunter snarled at her even as she gentled her hold on Krissy.

"Amara sent it. She's _God's sister_. Do you really think we have anything that can stop her? It's up to Sam and Dean to stop her. They kill her, everything will go back to normal." Krissy paused as her gaze turned back to the window and the fog beyond it. "You just better pray Ben's foster parents make it out alive."

"Or what?"

"Or he might not come back."

Claire swallowed back any harsh words. The hunter is right. About everything. There's no point in arguing with her anymore.

"Well, I don't care. We are throwing up every warding in the book and we are going to pray that we make it out alive," Jody told them, her tone brooking no more argument. The two young hunters shared a look that Jody caught and read it as them humoring her. They knew it was hopeless, and Jody knew this, how can she not? But like hell are they going to cower in the house without putting up one hell of a fight.

"Sam, Dean," the sheriff prayed, "fix this and bring Ben home."

 **BW**

Amara let out a delighted cackle as more of her fog encompassed the Earth. She should add some more corporeal predators - like wolves, she likes wolves - and let them loose on the survivors. If the fog won't work to bring her brother out of hiding then maybe wiping out his beloved creations would.

A whimper behind her had Amara turning around to see a pale faced Ben Winchester clutching a plastic grocery bag full of food and drinks. He had a haunted look on his face that made something unpleasant curl in Amara's stomach. She didn't like that look on his face nor did she like the feeling growing in her belly that's borne from it.

"You killed them," Ben accused in a terrified voice. "They tore each other apart and... and...they." Ben's voice failed him and he retched.

Amara frowned at him. "Of course. Death of all his creation will bring God out of his bolt hole."

The expression on Ben's face had even more unpleasant feelings emerge. Shame is one feeling she identified, regret is another, but triumph is the stronger than any negative emotion Ben is bringing to life in her. A gesture brings Ben right in front of her, they're so close, Amara can feel every minute tremble going through the boy's body and she watched the infection start to spread in the boy's veins.

Ben yelped at being moved without his permission.

The Darkness cupped Ben's face, her eyes locked with his as she forced power through her hands, warding is sewn into the very fiber of his being. Ben let out a scream of agony that she ignored. Amara needed Ben to be immune to the fog like his father and the infection burning out of Ben is the only way to get rid of it. It's painful but it's the only way.

A sympathetic hiss had Amara's attention shifting from Ben to Lucifer. The annoying Fallen angel had a surge of rage rampaging through her, lowering the boy gently to the ground to recuperate, Amara flicked her wrist at Lucifer and the Lightbringer let out a scream of agony.

"Be quiet, nephew," Amara snarled, "or I might kill you in front of him."

"You won't." It's said with more confidence than he's feeling. "You kill me, you're killing Castiel. Neither Dean nor Ben will forgive that, no matter how you manipulate them."

Snarling like a feral, primordial predator, the sound raised the hairs on Jimmy Novak's former vessel in an instinctive reaction, Amara slashed a gesture at Lucifer that tore threw his grace, rippling through his entire being, igniting every nerve ending with holy fire. The scream that tore out of Lucifer's throat will forever feature in Ben's nightmares until his dying day, and even clamping his hands over his ears and humming as loud as he can did nothing to stifle the noise.

"Stop it!" Ben screamed.

The noise stopped but when Ben looked up, Lucifer's face is frozen horribly in a picture of pain and misery, mouth open with no sound coming out. The veins in Lucifer's throat rippled with an agony Ben hopes he'll never experience first hand but the eerie silence is far more disturbing than the scream itself.

Slamming his eyes closed, Ben prayed with all his might that his dad will come and save him from Amara. He put everything he had into that prayer, shouting it up to the heavens that someone would hear and tell his dad, _**DEAN WINCHESTER**_ , that his son needs him right the fuck now and for him to hurry his ass up.

 _Any angel against Amara, or even God if you're listening, please, please help me._

Lucifer heard the prayer and boosted it with his grace, biting back a whimper when he did so. Everything hurts. Castiel also whined in pain but helped.

He's not happy that Ben Winchester is there with the Darkness nor is he happy they're trapped and unable to help Dean's spawn. Little brother is most unhappy indeed. He's going to be a pain when they get out of here.

Amara's laughter sent chills through all three of them. Ben crawled to where Lucifer is chained up and hugged his legs again. It's odd seeking comfort from the first Fallen but in his mind he's hanging on to Castiel instead. He's hanging on to the one angel his dad said he can trust to come to his aid, to hear his prayers and try to do something about it. Unfortunately, that belief had been shaken when Ben discovered it had been Castiel that had took away his memories of his dad and uncle, but habits die hard, and he's not picky at the moment.

The Darkness sauntered towards them, her hand flicking at Lucifer and the angel convulsed.

"Eat your food, Ben."

She walked past them and towards the opening to the outside. Another boom rattled the bigass drum they're in as soon as she crossed the threshold, she must have sent off more of her dangerous and creeyp-as-hell fog out to the world. The longer it takes for God to notice her, the more people are going to die. Ben's developing an increasingly low opinion of The Lord.

He just hopes he doesn't get smited? Smote? for thinking so.

"Dad'll come," he assured Lucifer again, this time trying to convince himself. "He will."

* * *

 **Sorry. Had these done ages ago.**

 **I need, like, an alert or something that'll remind me to post the chapters once I'm done. Almost done with the next. Like, part-way through with it. Hopefully post it before Sunday. Wish me luck!**

 **Oh, and next up: Dean and Ben finally reunite!**


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